Why/What???

[deebra]

Has anybody given any thought to Why you were drawn to try-on your very first piece of women's clothing?
What caused you to continue and try-on more?
Why didn't other males feel this draw also?
I/we know society acceptance is learned from what the majority of society "thinks" is right but is there really anything wrong with a male wanting to wear women's clothing?
Are there a lot (meaning up to 20 to 25%) more males that would wear female clothing if it were accepted/normal for them to wear just like women.
Were we born to be crossdressers and more mentally female than other males, if so and society has finally come around to accepting a person can be born gay then why not crossdresser/ fem. minded male?

Me, feeling feminine and dressing as a woman is much better than as a man. I have done the man thing and I now like the female role better.

[Jaylyn]

I guess I was drawn to it by my mom dressing me as a kid. I enjoyed being her little angel.
My teen years I think it was purely sexual and hot and moms silky things fit and felt good on me.
Maybe other males had more of a father who was around more. Mi e worked all the time.
Society is a weird monster, what a a lot of folks think doesn't make it right or wrong it's just an opinion. I am a church going guy that has read the bible from front to back more than nice and I can't find anything wrong with what we wear. It's not against the law where I live. I guess it just breaks that old man code thing.
My thinking is men enjoy softness in shirts, under wear, and shoes, most women's under garments are smooth and soft so why wouldn't more males accept and start wearing something that feels good to them. If the majority started wearing women's clothing then the manufactures would start making men's dresses.
I think society will one day accept CDs as the normal. We may even see clothes that are unisex.
I still enjoy being a man and do not want the GG role in life but I do enjoy wearing their clothing from time to time.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm really having a hard time understanding why a common theme in your threads is that men who are cool with being men can/should/would choose to crossdress. Fact of the matter is that we live in a gender binary society on nearly every front and despite the acceptance of some blurred lines, there isn't likely to be a revolution of dudes running around in dresses any time soon.

I can't help but to see this validated when I see any man who presents in such a way that his masculine confidence shines through and this includes his choice of clothing. I'm telling you, 99.whatever% of these guys don't get up in the morning and long for what you do and the world is better for it.

I value my perspective on gender and understand the terms by which I will express this in society. I am all good with it and have zero desire to recruit the unwashed masses into being who I am or doing what you do. Men can be men, women can be women and hopefully, those of us who straddle the line in whatever manner can find happiness and acceptance in this mostly wonderful world of ours.

[Jean 103]

Let's see if I can answer it this way. I had this boyfriend I lived with for a year. He could not understand why I would get dressed every day and not just on special occasions. He like most guys would wear the same look all the time.

[Pat]

No offense, but isn't this the same question you ask pretty much every time you start a thread?

[NancySue]

Thoughts as to “why”? I still do. No worry, just “why”. Genetic? The first time I put hose on, I was hooked. I fall in the category of a progressive. Hose to panties to bras, etc. Back in the 1700’s most men wore nylon stockings. It was the accepted norm. Ahhh, to bring back the good ole days. Lol

[docrobbysherry]

What Sarah said! I'll reply the way I always do. If u think vanilla males would like to try on women's things, you're dreaming, Deebra.
I began dressing in my 50's. That's when I tried on my 1st female clothing item.

Why didn't I try on women's things before then? Altho I had plenty of opportunities. Because like the average, straight, vanilla male, IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME!

Up to that point, my only thots about women's clothes were about how to get the women I found attractive out of them!

[Gillian Gigs]

I am prone to agree with Pat on this one. Are you still attempting to justify why you are a crossdresser? I spent many years trying to understand the "whys" and only got frustrated! In accepting yourself, it is not necessary to know all of the answers, just realize that there are things that you can not seem to change about yourself. The AA prayer seems to say it all, accept the things you can not change, change the things that you can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.

I know where it all started for me. I'm aware of how it has continued to this day. Can I change the past? No, a lot of water has passed under the bridge on this one. Why do some CD, and others don't, I can only speak for what is going on in my head. That is more than enough for me the cope with! Acceptance is a process, like a journey, who knows if there is ever an arrival point of total acceptance, just take the journey, your mental health will love you for it.

[Kayliedaskope]

We are because we do, deebra. There are as many reasons for cross dressing as there are crossdressers. Don't worry about the "why" and "what" - concentrate on the "how it makes me feel when..."

[Robertacd]

In the 4th grade one of the girls started wearing a bra. I remember thinking "I should be wearing one of those", soon after I tried on one of my mother's bras, and the rest as they say is history.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
I'm inclined to agree with the others the question keeps repeating itself.

The bottom line is there's no defining answer we are all different , I believe we are born like it but some disagree with that, my T level at an early age was possibly the key to my CDing needs , but again that varies with individuals especially the late onset CDers.

Some have sexual elements driving their dressing and others have gender issues , it is impossible to give a concise answer .

I feel you keep asking these questions to rationalise your own feelings, not everyone is going to understand and agree with you because our wiring is so variable , there's no one fit answer .

[JenniferMBlack]

Why dose anyone do anything? Pick something anything else you do and ask the same question? I think you are feeling there is something wrong with you and your trying to validate crossdressing by thinking many others might have done it if. Fact of the matter is there is nothing wrong and you are part of a minority in this. I don't feel there is an overwhelming rejection or hatred towards Transgender poeple, more of stay out of my private space because I don't understand you. The best advice you can be given is accept yourself if you want others to accept you. You cant hide and not educate others if you want acceptance they need to understand your not a monster.

as to why I tried on my first skirt I was curious what it was like to wear a skirt. All the girls were wearing them all the time and I wanted to know why they liked them so much. once I tried it I completely understood and was hooked.

[deebra]

O.K. I've read all the above threads and I'm cool with the answers, and I'm not trying to justify my CDing. Go back to my first 3 sentences. Let me try again with this example, most women enjoy performing oral sex on men, why do some men also enjoy performing oral sex on men just like women but most men don't. Why do women like dresses, lingerie, soft, silky, pretty and some men do too. Just wondering why some and not others. If some had the balls to try it maybe they would like it and continue, why don't they? Do CDers like women more than men and so much they want to be them even for a short time? Is part of a CD's brain the same as a females (born this way) having the same desires for female things they do, in other words does a CD think like a woman on certain things?

I know, I know we don't have the answers but what's wrong with thinking/wondering WHY without getting your panties all in a bunch? Mine are nice and smooth and silky, seems like some on here need to adjust them.

[Robertacd]

There is no reason why.

You might as well ask why we are all different.

[Gillian Gigs]

Sorry, but your first three sentences are still asking the question that I see you continually ask, Why. Post # 13 does little to change my thoughts, other than say you are generalizing and you are looking for some specific answers. "Most women enjoy...some men enjoy", based on what, whose opinion?

I will give you my best attempt to answer all this. We live in an imperfect world, with imperfect people and were raised by imperfect parents. What more can you expect other than an imperfect mess. Every imperfection causes twists, kinks, quirks and who knows where it will all end up in our personalities! The only absolutes in this life are death and taxes, some have found loop holes in the tax system, but no one has cheated death!

Just enjoy the life you have, because there isn't another one you can jump into around the corner. Whether you are CD, TS, TG, LGBTQ, or any other letter of the alphabet, make the best with what was handed you. Most people don't really care if you wear a dress, they just don't want you flaunting it in their face.

[audreyinalbany]

"most women enjoy performing oral sex on men" Really? I gotta get out more

[Tracii G]

Ok I have to ask why the same question every time?
Maybe different words but essentially the same question.
"Why women and not men"
We have all commented on many of your posts like this so are we to assume you just don't listen or read the posts in this case?
No matter what we respond with you aren't going to agree with apparently and you will ask the question again.

[Lana Mae]

I am sure we all have thought about it! We are wired this way, hormones, momma used to dress me, etc. There is no definitive answer! The other males do not because they are not wired that way, they did not get a hormone bath that would cause it, and momma did not dress them! There are the answers to your questions, but there are as many answers as there are crossdressers! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the journey! You are on it now and there is no escape so you might as well enjoy it! Hugs Lana Mae

[natalie edwards]

To me the only "why" is why does it matter?
If you get the answer you're hoping for will that validate everything for you so can move forward?
Are you going to stop if you don't get the answer you're looking for?
My guess is your answer to both would be "No".
If you want to continue or progress you will. So "why" is meaningless. This isn't math class we don't have to solve for "Y" (why)
Just live your life as happily as possible.

[Tracii G]

I know a few people that always ask for advice then do the exact opposite of the advice you gave.
The last guy I know that did that I called an askhole.


Deebra how come you can't accept things for the way they are and find a way to work around it?
You don't have to do things the way everybody else does. Find your way and do your own thing.

[docrobbysherry]

I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here. But, u just don't want to understand, I guess?

"Why do women like dresses, lingerie, soft, silky, pretty and some men do too. Just wondering why some and not others. If some had the balls to try it maybe they would like it and continue, why don't they?"

Have u ever lived with a woman? Just the 2 of u? If u have, you'd know it takes no guts to try on your GF's or wife's clothes, when she's at work, at school, out shopping, or visiting her mom!

Vanilla men, (which I was most of my life), simply never think of that! Why don't they put on diapors and pretend to be babies? Or, try on clown suits? If they wanted to do those things, they would.

And, in fact, some do!
But, most just aren't interested! I'm done!

[lingerieLiz]

My mother put me in panties. I never wanted to go back.

[Dana44]

Why, we never figured that out. Just live your life like you want to. Most men are men and that is the way it is. Yes we like the fem role but we have to be men too. Because we were born that way. Yet I am pretty fem.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
You may have to change the word MOST to say minority .

Oral sex is not that common , I don't know where you get that assumption from .

Think for a moment about the soft materials you mention , they all imitate soft skin, we are attracted to them because they make us feel feminine, women enjoy wearing them because they are partly attractive to men in general and not just CDers .

I feel that is why find it hard sometimes to understand why women don't wear nice clothes all the time, to some of us they appear to be rejecting their femininity . Of course they're not they are simply being practical , that is why we often go OTT , we are overdoing the point that we can dress and appear like women . WE are trying to prove it to ourselves so we can accept we like doing it and hopefully others will go along with our needs , surprisingly many are quite happy with us doing it , as I found out again only the other day .

[Becky Blue]

There are so many questions in the world that may never be answered, Deebra yours is just one of them. If anyone knew the answer I am sure they would have told us by now. Its on my list of unanswered questions... such as What happened to Tony Soprano just after the guy exited the men's room or if the universe is infinite what comes after that?