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Thread: The Trans Regret Movement

  1. #26
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    Some level of dissociation is common. I have my own issues with it. True DID, however, is extremely rare.
    I am older than I once was,
    And younger than I'll be. ...
    After changes upon changes
    We are more or less the same;
    After changes we are more or less the same.

  2. #27
    Junior Member Sara Olivia's Avatar
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    Amanda, I think your approach is very mature, level headed and will serve you well. I think you are doing exactly the right thing. I wish you all the best in finding the path in life that is right for you whatever that ultimately will turn out to be.

  3. #28
    Member OCCarly's Avatar
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    I have studied a lot of cases of transition gone wrong or transition regret over the years. Before I do something permanent to myself (I am now eligible for an orchiectomy), I wanted to be absolutely sure.

    Typically there is one of either two things going on when someone transitions and is not actually transgender: 1) Transitioning for the reactions they will get from other people, rather than for their own internal satisfaction; and 2) Underlying mental illness.

    In category 1) I've seen very feminine gay men begin transition because they wanted to make themselves more attractive to men and for no other reason. I've also seen at least one case of transition regret where the individual in question became a very attractive woman at the age of 20. He even worked as a stripper for a while. Then at 40 he decided to detransition. As a male at 40, he presented as a hyper muscular body builder, with far larger musculature than anyone could achieve at the gym without some chemical help.

    In category 2) there are actually three conditions that can cause someone to think they are transgender: a) Dissociative identitity disorder, which has already been discussed, b) bipolar disorder. Bipolars who are in the manic phase will often get interested in something, especially if they see someone else having a good time with it or getting attention, then become obsessed with it, and pursue it until their obsession is sated -- at which point the regret kicks in. Or the experience they hoped for simply will not live up to their expectations. c) Borderline personality disorder. BPD results in someone who does not have a strong sense of identity to begin with, so they have a tendency to borrow or adopt identities that they see as better than their own.

    The gatekeepers in the medical profession are supposed to stop folks like this from transitioning, but some folks with these conditions are very intelligent, clever and resourceful, and they know how to say all the right things to get what they want.

    At any rate, the right thing to do is to be careful, take your transition slow, and try your best to see and listen to the empirical evidence of what your own body is telling you. I know from eighteen months of hormones that I am far better off with zero testosterone in my body. And estrogen just feels lovely. I love having boobs, even if they are small. I love looking, feeling, and being feminine. And none of it is about affecting or attracting other people, although interacting as a woman makes me feel far better than living as a man ever did. I always felt clueless and lost living as a man, and as a woman I am confident and self assured.
    Carries a spray bottle of "pink fog" around with her in her purse at all times.

  4. #29
    Gold Member Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OCCarly View Post
    The gatekeepers in the medical profession are supposed to stop folks like this from transitioning, but some folks with these conditions are very intelligent, clever and resourceful, and they know how to say all the right things to get what they want.
    I don't know about gate-keepers, but following the WPATH Standards Of Care would have diagnosed the co-morbidity in a number of the cases that you describe and would have ensured that those conditions were addressed. Unfortunately I have seen many people who advocate what they call Informed Consent which usually means "I'm paying you to do what I want" (rather like Charles Kane). True informed consent is part of the WPATH SOC and means that the practitioner discusses the pros and cons of treatment and of alternatives to gain the agreement of the patient.

    There will probably still be some who continue despite the diligence of the medical and psychiatric communities and who later discover that they are not transsexual, albeit they could be transgender.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

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  5. #30
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    OCCarly, Two points: I’m bipolar. I can testify to the drive, focus, and hyper activity of the manic phase (as can everyone around me). It’s not a cause of GD. BPD - in some - includes a less than firm sense of self. That is not the same as not having a true self. Anyone with this issue would self-correct quickly as they ran into the ensuing conflicts, even if they couldn’t see them coming. BPD may be a consequence of GD, however. (Bipolar is chemical.)

    Your category 1? Truly gay men are attracted to other gay men, and THEY do not wish to be with women, trans or otherwise.
    I am older than I once was,
    And younger than I'll be. ...
    After changes upon changes
    We are more or less the same;
    After changes we are more or less the same.

  6. #31
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    People that are not transsexuals cannot suffer from "trans regret"
    I feel for someone that makes a mistake, but its got nothing to do with transsexuals... its another sympton of co-opting trans identity..
    transsexuals get no end of grief for being "trannier than thou"
    ...well in this case they are.. and therr well documented medical treatment is put at risk by people going down this path..

    transsexuals that regret transition almost always are responding to suffering imposed on them , plans that failed, money issues, and co morbid conditions that made transition risky , people that didnt support them(especially wives), unrealistic expectations..
    medical pros should be on the lookout for all these risks and do what they can to help folks guard against those things..
    if your wife's support is included in your calculus, you need to work that out before transition not after, and you have to be ready for her to change her mind when it gets real.
    no surprise to me...transition can be brutal especially for older folks....the world is so unfriendly to us in so many ways ..

    a much bigger issue is trans regret around not transitioning, or at least getting to express your gender enough to feel right about yourself..
    ...whether its because of personal reasons, money, health, safety whatever... that's trans regret.

    i see this especially in my generation that grew up in the dark about all this..most of us alone in it

    where are the articles on these folks? the 20/20 show highlighting their struggles? the studies of health outcomes? not juicy enough...doesnt fit with either agenda
    I am real

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele View Post
    People that are not transsexuals cannot suffer from "trans regret"
    I feel for someone that makes a mistake, but its got nothing to do with transsexuals... its another sympton of co-opting trans identity..

    ...

    transsexuals that regret transition almost always are responding to suffering imposed on them , plans that failed, money issues, and co morbid conditions that made transition risky , people that didnt support them(especially wives), unrealistic expectations..

    ...transition can be brutal especially for older folks....the world is so unfriendly to us in so many ways ..

    a much bigger issue is trans regret around not transitioning, or at least getting to express your gender enough to feel right about yourself..
    ...whether its because of personal reasons, money, health, safety whatever... that's trans regret.

    i see this especially in my generation that grew up in the dark about all this..most of us alone in it

    where are the articles on these folks? the 20/20 show highlighting their struggles? the studies of health outcomes? not juicy enough...doesnt fit with either agenda
    My God, what a terrific reply.
    I am older than I once was,
    And younger than I'll be. ...
    After changes upon changes
    We are more or less the same;
    After changes we are more or less the same.

  8. #33
    Silver Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    As one in just the beginning stages of a late in life transistion much of what Iím reading here is quite helpful. It gives me a lot of things to consider. I already plan on going slow and I for one believe that HRT may be all I need to be me and live
    my life in the female presentation. So far Iím quite comfortable presenting as female just about anywhere I go.
    However to do this 24/7 has some pitfalls but Iím going slow and making sure this is truly the right course and path
    This is a wonderful timely discussion
    Rachael

  9. #34
    Some Where In Time MssHyde's Avatar
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    regrets

    I'm transitioning I have a lot of regrets, but I wish I would have started HRT 30 years sooner. (my regret is fighting it so long)
    hers a picture of my last Doctor app. just the other day HRT since Jan 2017..
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    Carpe Noctem

    Cheyenne Hyde

    "You may never exceed, your own expectations, of yourself"

    http://s46.photobucket.com/user/MsHyde2u/library/
    (the password is feminine)

  10. #35
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeaP View Post
    My God, what a terrific reply.
    Amen, Kaitlyn and LeaP.

    Lallie
    Time for a change.

  11. #36
    Platinum Member Wendy me's Avatar
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    Oh the what if's .... before getting married
    Before kids before grandkids ..... before health issues


    What if I had before ... some are on ether side
    I know that I should have at least I think I should have
    A day dose not pass that I think I should have

    I don't fit in a male body ... my fem sledge is so incomplete
    Both of me are not right ... what if .....
    What is more wrong ?? To have your mind
    And body right then regret doing so ???
    Or not doing so and stuck with the what if's ?


    I think that before you do not only do you
    Need to go to therapy .. you need and must
    Go and think is this the answer is this going to complete
    Me ? Or am I going to be more broken
    With the "fix" ?

    Don't trust a person outher than you to
    Guide you

  12. #37
    Member jentay1367's Avatar
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    I simply can’t imagine having started HRT without the absolute knowledge that I was TS. I’m always dubious of the Person claiming to be TS that doesn’t want to lose male sexual function or have SRS. Generally a fascination with overly feminine clothing and big breasts accompanying the desire to transition with these people... at least the ones I’ve observed. Hey, What could go wrong, right?
    Testosterone and fetishism used as a paraphilia have proven out to be powerful aphrodisiacs, enough apparently to lead some to think they're TS and begin to transition. This person trying to maintain male function is also keeping a testosterone level that's not female and is allowing those things to stay in play. Eventually they will get a BA and then SRS as the logical conclusion to complete the picture they have in their heads since they’ve exhausted everything else that can be done. Of course, once the SRS is performed, the T levels drop, the paraphilia loses its lure and regret sets in since now, the "thrill" is gone. If you’re going down a rabbit hole, any rabbit hole, you need to make sure its your rabbit hole and there are no snakes in there .
    I doubt this happens terribly often, but I suspect it happens.
    Last edited by jentay1367; 10-17-2017 at 11:57 AM.

  13. #38
    Aspiring Member MarieTS's Avatar
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    I can't believe how ignorant the haters are, how they distort things to win an argument they have no standing in. To carry their logic forward, marriage should not be allowed because so many come to regret being married.
    Crusading snobs!
    Marie

  14. #39
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    excellent!! +1

    the marriage regret movement!!! LOL....

    sorry religious right folks...there are some folks that have nothing to do with you getting divorced... so from now on, you cant get married... perfect...
    I am real

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