Just want to be dressed as me

[Daviduk]

I am a first time poster. I have an accepting SO so I can dress as I wish when at home. But I now have an 19 month old daughter so have to be careful. My point is and I welcome comments and thoughts. I don't want to be a woman I am happy being a male, I just want to be able to wear what clothes I want as and when I want to. Where I work Friday is dress down day. All the females wear jeans that day. I would love to go to work on a Friday in a denim skirt and sweater with panties but no bra. Maybe just a little makeup say mascara and lipstick. Just to go to work as me. Not the female version but the version I am inside. Happy being male just wanting to wear the clothes I want to wear. Any thoughts?

[Charlotte7]

That's a difficult one. At home you have a child and then you also want to dress down at work on a Friday. My thoughts here are think very, very carefully before you act, particularly at work. Remember, this is one of those things that when something is done, it cannot be undone. When people at work know you cross dress, they cannot not know that you cross dress. This can have real implications for your career and then everything else that your career pays for. I'm sure that many of us whould love to go to work in a skirt, I know I would (I'm lucky that when I work from home I do) but in the office? I'd never give it more that the most fleeting of thoughts. And as for home, with a child? If you dress in front of a child, even a very young child, at some point they will out you. Yes, the pink fog can be a problem sometimes.

[Beverley Sims]

Dressing up and work do not mix, take care with your daughter as she may remember after about 2yrs old.

You then have an eighteen year hiatus until she leaves home.

Other than that, welcome to the forum.

Others are likely to follow with more advice for you.

[Stacy Darling]

Careful may be the word of the day!

I dress to the boundaries or just further than is " acceptable " by those around me. I wear make-up daily, my nails are done and from the waist down I look very Femme!
"BUT!" I no longer work, my children have flown & I no longer care who accepts me. I'm quite content in that way.

With that said, if I were in the position similar to yours 25yrs back, I would not be wearing my favourite skirt on Fridays and would be shielding my daughter from my dressing. My dressing confuses most adult medical professionals never mind a young child.

Keep being the Happy you, just take care with the steps you choose!
Stacy!

[Julia1984]

I echo what Charlotte said.
We have "dress down Fridays" too, here at the factory (It's a large law firm and I am moderately senior). I dream about turning up one friday suitably dressed but I keep it as a dream. Maybe one day we won't have to, but until then I would urge you to consider the likely repercussions.
Julia

[Pat]

Rather than telling you to be careful, I'd just suggest you be intentional. That is, do things with clear recognition of the consequences. There is no harm to your 19 month-old daughter if you crossdress - the only potential harm is to you if she outs you and you're not ready. If you wanted to wear a skirt on casual Friday then the wise choice would be to pave the way toward it through HR just the way many transgender people have already. So your dreams are attainable, but you have to be serious, not just daydreaming out loud.

[Krisi]

" Any thoughts?"

Yes. DO NOT mix crossdressing and work. You need that job and career to support yourself and your family. Don't try to hide behind anti discrimination laws. Being "weird" in any way (crossdressing is "weird" to most folks) will hold you back in your career and affect your relationship with co-workers, clients, and anyone you have contact with at work. Don't even think about it.

And don't dress as a woman around your child. She will out you without knowing the consequences.

[chelyann]

your daughter and SO need a roof over their head and insurance and UNEMPLOYMENT does not provide THAT..
dressing around your daughter that's your choice ..

just my 2 cents

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I think Pat's nailed it.

Welcome David.

[Jaylyn]

I for one never dressed in front of my kids, I don't know what they would then no about me if I did. They'd still love me but might think I'm losing my mind also. In my profession when oi was doing the every day grind it would not have been acceptable and I had to feed kids and keep a home going. My wife and I are the only ones at the house now and I get a good amount of dressing in just not out. It's not all bad I can still hang with old work buddies and my kids don't know. If you can think about what the future might hold for you I'd sure consider giving it a good thought. What you do usually can't be undone easily. Just my two cents on it.

[Stephanie47]

Fantasies are best kept fantasies. It's risk vs reward. Once the Genie is out of the bottle, she cannot be put back into the bottle. What is there to gain by showing up at work en femme? How will the relationship with your coworker be on Monday morning? I don't know what the laws are in the United Kingdom (assuming that from your handle). Legal protection, if there is protection, does not confer acceptance by your coworkers. If you "don't want to be a woman" and you are "happy being a male," then be a male at work. If you want to spread your wings and go public, do it in an environment where there is minimal risk to losing your ability to work effectively or at all. Your actions also have consequences for your wife and child.

As far as the child goes I personally do not believe a young child has the ability to grasp the significance of daddy wearing clothes mommy wears. It will be confusing, especially when she goes out into the playground and spills the beans about daddy. I've been around young children as my wife is a teacher and have witness first hand the negativity brought from home when it comes to bias behavior towards other groups. Once it gets back to other parents that a certain daddy wears dresses your daughter may be in for a lot of unwanted negative behavior from other young children.

Act wisely.

[Tracii G]

What are the benefits of dressing "as you" at work?
Dress down day ok I get that but are you actually dressing down by crossdressing?
No you are intentionally causing a disruption at work buy wearing a skirt? Maybe maybe not.
That depends on the type of people you work with doesn't it?
Check with the HR dept and see what the trans policies are with your company.If you are not ready to be "out" then I would say don't crossdress at work.
So what are the benefits and what are the disadvantages of crossdressing at work?
You need to think deeply on the subject and listen to some folks here that have been where you are right now.

[Jodie_Lynn]

For starters, anti-discrimination laws and policies are fine, but they do not impact on how people feel. What is the general attitude of the people you work with towards the, for lack of a better term, 'unconventional'? In my place of employment which is 95% male, there is a lot of homosexual banter & joking but, there is also a homosexual/queer bias. One new hire who showed up in leggings with his hair in a feminine ponytail. No one said anything discriminatory to him that I am aware of, but he quit before the end of the day, due to, I believe, the strong anti-gay vibe the staff was giving off. The comments I heard, after the poor guys departure, were typical of the male gay bashing we are all familiar with. I overheard one supervisor even comment "Why the hell did they hire that fag anyway?"

Just a caveat and a plea for a little caution on the part of anyone who wishes to stretch the bounds of normality. Whatever that may be.

[docrobbysherry]

David, if your SO is ok with u dressing at home, u should take advantage of that. Your daughter will accept u for u. No matter how u dress. Because at her young age however u look will be her normal for u from now on. But, when she becomes school age, u may be outed by her!

As far as dressing to work? Do u REALLY want to dive into that pool? It's like squeezing out too much toothpaste. It can NEVER be put back in the tube again!