The ex...

[patti1569]

For those of us who have lost a marriage due to dressing, especially if there are kids involved, do you have a good relationship with your ex? Or, like me, is it a nightmare? For instance, when I started dating, my ex broke into my house and stole pictures of me dressed. Then she threatened to post them on Facebook if I didn't leave my girlfriend ( my now wife). She tries to control me by using my kids as leverage. We never get along and she is always trying to start a fight with me. Just curious if others have the same issue or if you get along with your ex.

[deebra]

You will have peace and be rid of her when your children turn 18. You have a life and are happy, she doesn't. She blames her failings on you. She's alone, lonely and hurt. If necessary have the juvenile court set up strict visitation rules. And if you have any pictures or incriminating things get a safe and put them in it and keep the combination to your self!!!!

If she would have been flexible on the CDing she would still have her family in tack. Look what being a hard ass, my way or the highway got her. If other wives are reading this maybe they could learn something before it's to late.

[Jaylyn]

That's just not right, can you file on her for breaking into your house? Also I think Id make a long move away from her, but you might lose the kids visitation and such as come with divorces.

[Megan b]

I have almost no contact with my ex wife. I've received a few random not so nice text from her regarding my crossdressing and holidays but for the most part we don't communicate with each other. I don't hate my ex wife but I also don't love her anymore either. I guess I'm fortunate that our children were 15 and 18 when we separated and 17 and 20 when we divorced. I also do not bad mouth her to our children. That's their mother and i want them to love and respect her. My ex wife now works at the hospital and my Dad had to be hospitalized a few weeks ago, then later life flighted to another larger hospital. While i was waiting for my Dads helicopter to take off, she happened to drive by and see me in my truck crying. She called me. She had not called my phone in over six years. Asked if that was my Dad. I almost couldn't talk. She asked me to pull into the parking lot where she was at but I didn't. As soon as the helicopter took off, I had to be on the road driving my Mom and sister to Memphis. But she did reach out and try to offer some comfort which was nice of her. I just think the best we will ever be is civil to each other and maybe that's on me.

[sometimes_miss]

My wife used my crossdressing as ammunition to blackmail me during the divorce. I saw her once, in passing since the divorce. I don't associate with known felons. I never want to see her again.

[ShelbyDawn]

Patti.
I have very similar issues with my ex and they have nothing to do with what clothes you wear. She is a controlling manipulative b**** and, as others have said, you will be much better off when you no longer have to deal with her. I have 4 years 7 months left on my sentence. Not like I’m counting, or anything. 😜

Hang in there and be strong. I’m glad you found someone new.

[LeannS]

Patti ex's are like that even if you don't crossdress be the best you can be around the kids and NEVER talk their mother down. but do remember there are wedding coming up,
grandkids being born so you will have to deal with this woman every now and then.

Leann

[Patrica Gil]

Haven't seen or spoken with my ex in a few years. Last time I didn't have anything to say so I said nothing. My ex has told others I am gay, etc.etc. Quite honestly I don't worry about it. Life is to short to worry about it. Many times a person acts, or behaves the in the manner they wish then blame someone or something else for it. She probably would behave the same even if you didn't crossdress.

[Amy Lynn3]

Seems as if lots of us here married sisters.

[Dana44]

MY second ex I filled a restringing order with her. My first wife got remarried and I am friends with them. Yeah the second wife I had to get away from.

[giuseppina]

I don't know what the threshold for a no-contact restraining order is where you live, but it seems to me this is something looking into, Patti. It seems to me that your ex's behavior would be sanctionable (B&E and/or theft) by the courts where I live.

While I have no toxic ex-partners, I have stayed out of relationships to take away opportunities for drama, from any source.

[Joni T]

Ex's are ex's for a reason. I collect them. I have 2. CD'ing was not an issue in either case. I don't have any contact with either and I prefer it that way.
Jon

[*ROXY*]

If she would have been flexible on the CDing she would still have her family in tack. Look what being a hard ass, my way or the highway got her. If other wives are reading this maybe they could learn something before it's to late.

I'm sorry but whereas this behaviour is intolerable, it's merely a control issue. If cross-dressing wasn't involved it would just probably lead to some other leverage. I can't speak for Patti's relationship beforehand as I don't know the facts but If other wives are reading this then they're probably either already accepting or are willing to be a little more open to it. What we do isn't for everyone, not all wives will accept it, nobody has to. When I opened up to my wife 6-7 years ago I went in eyes wide open with the possibility she might pack up and leave taking our children with her. I was very fortunate she stayed - then the hard work starts. Establishing communication full and open, settings boundaries and understanding and accepting them on both sides. It can't be a one way street. If both side want to make it work they will find a way.
It's a very difficult situation with children involved and there is no right answer. I'm not supporting the wife in this situation but it's a huge thing. Imagine, if you will, your wife/partner decides they want to dress and/or act as a male. Hairy legs, bound breasts, false stubble or mustache maybe, short shaved hair, loose fitting clothing. Would you be jumping for joy at the prospect ?
I've read so many stories where "my wife doesn't accept me" and people replying "if she doesn't like it she should leave". When two people form a relationship there is trust, you think you know everything about someone and when this side of you is revealed it breaks that trust. It's hard to recover from. People get hurt, angry, upset and they either learn to deal with/accept a little/tolerate or decide that they cannot get past it.
Divorces and breakups are messy and people will pick on anything as leverage, this was just an easy target. Patti : From her behaviour you're probably best out of it even if you're suffering some backlash now. She sounds very controlling.

[Alice Torn]

That sounds like a living nightmare. I have a living nightmare with my family of origin. It is amazing how love can turn int hate and bitterness and jealousy, and evil deeds! I am sorry for your nightmare. One day a ta time in a mine field of a world. But the difficult thing in life can make us much stronger people, in spite of the pain and suffering. A bit less would be welcome!

[Bridgette T]

When my first marriage fell apart, my now ex-wife threatened to use the fact that I crossdress against me in order to get some control of the money and the kids. A threat was made by her attorney to mine, and my attorney let her attorney know if that was the case, then the gloves were coming off completely. My ex had done 90 days in rehab for alcohol and pills less than a year before. She is a physician in our town. This meant she didn't want that to be anymore public than it already was. I also took the step of telling the majoity of people I truly care about that I have an unusual hobby. No poor reactions, though a lot of surprise. I am from a very conservative Christian background, yet the only thing my family said was that they couldn't believe she would do that after I stuck with her through all of her problems. The kids still don't know, but I am raising tolerant, socially active and aware children. If and when it ever comes up, I honestly think it would be "That's kinda weird. What's for dinner?" While I don't think everyone needs to know about our private lives, I do recommend getting out in front of it if it is being used against you.

I have since remarried a wonderfully supportive woman who loves all parts of me, regardless of gender presentation. For those that are struggling, hang in there. Things truly can get better.

[krissy]

Hi

My ex told all my male friends, lost them all and my job but its so weird we now get along .she never brings it up but ill never trust her again

[Tracii G]

Patti get a restraining order on your ex.
Breaking into your house is a crime you know that and stealing your property is also.
Using your kids a leverage is frowned upon by the family courts too if you can prove all that stuff I would bring it up to the courts.
She has a mental problem IMO
Your ex is crazy and needs to be shown she cannot act like that.