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Thread: Three way cross road

  1. #1
    Member NikiMichelle's Avatar
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    Three way cross road

    Hello all!

    I have found myself in a quandary over the past few months I would like to share.

    As a (very) long time CD I find myself at odds with CD’ing right now. Two years ago my wife (of 40 years) and I moved from a big city to a small mountain town to start off our retirement. I had worked in the downtown of the city and truly enjoyed getting my fill of women’s office attire for which I adopted my CD style from. There was no end of supply of ideas for me to copy. Now, however, my exposure to the “big city” idea factory has ended and I find myself with limited viewing options and ideas in the small mountain town. The best ideas I have are leggings and boots for which I do love but that is about it.

    As such I find myself stuck with only have a desire for casual yoga style leggings and flannel shirts and older out of date clothing I have from the big city days. I have actually stalled out on CD’ing.

    Hence my three way cross roads:

    - reinventing myself in leggings;
    - living in the past styles,
    - not dressing at all.

    I have for the past few months actually been reluctant to dress at all. I do tend to CD less in the summer but this year I stalled out all summer. With colder weather setting I am still stuck.

    I know the responses will be “do both silly!” but neither appeal to me yet quitting does not seem to be an option nor desire either.

    I am open to any and all advise or suggestions!

  2. #2
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    People change over time. While I have a lot of women's clothes as does my wife neither of us wear clothes that we used to unless there is a need. Life is more casual than before and while we could do things that would cause us to wear more sophisticated dressing we enjoy the laid back life. Been to the operas, premiers, charity events.

    But, do what you want when you want to do it. You seem to feel obligated. Don't let it get to you. It is always your choice.

  3. #3
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    Relax, chill out and wait for the pink fog to return, as it inevitably will.
    Enjoy this peaceful moment in your life with your wife, and don't stress about unimportant stuff.

  4. #4
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    You're in Canada, my dear. Even small towns here are more accepting than a lot of places in the US. I guess it comes down to how comfortable your wife would be with being unique in your town. That's how it is for my wife and me. She's okay with me in a dress, but not in public because she doesn't want the "awkward conversations" she might have.

    But I do go out dressed by myself, alone, and people do at times give me a second look, but any comments I get are positive, never negative. Any negative thoughts are never uttered around me, so I don't worry about that in the least. You know there will be those in your town who can't relate to your style, but will they behave outwardly hostile? Will the whispers behind your back translate into your being shunned? OMG, I hope not, and I think after an adjustment period, folks will realize you're good people. But only you are in a position to guage how your wife and town will react to you.

  5. #5
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Shame that you don't have a television, read magazines, or go to the movies to see what's in style these days. There's not even one store that has dresses in the front window? Wow, now THAT'S a small town!
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  6. #6
    Member rhonda's Avatar
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    be careful on quitting part I don't think it can be done

  7. #7
    Member Linda Stockings's Avatar
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    I've retired and spend a lot of time in small mountain towns also. Once in awhile I get back to a city. I've read, and noticed, and I believe, that some styles are timeless, elegant, very attractive, and probably always will be. No matter what's "in style", many classics rule. An example is wrap style dresses. Designer Diane Von Furstenberg made them very popular in the 1970's, and they still are. Seems like every dressmaker has new wrap dresses hitting the racks every year. The "tutorials" and articles say how they flatter the vast majority of body types and figures, small or large bust lines, etc. I've kept my shoe buying to classic pumps witb heels 4" down to about 2 1/2". At my age the platforms are basically out - I like the classic style pumps better anyway. I've still been wearing skintone panty hose and when I'm in the mood, wear tights. I know it's hard finding a place to gall dressed in a fancy dress or high end skirt suit and heels, but there are some places to still go. I've found most small towns are too close to big towns anyway. Good luck, and enjoy your retirement.

    Linda

  8. #8
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    NikkiMichelle,
    One aspect could be your life in the city was stressful and some say dressing helps to relieve stress. Another angle could be that your senses were more turned on be seeing so many GGs dressed nicely and you wanted the same experiences but now that motivation has gone .

    The one outlet could be finding a social group, you can dress it up some there if you wish .

  9. #9
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    Obviously you have access to the Internet or you would not be on this site. You definitely can get your fill of viewing women and the latest styles of the Internet. Your bio page says you're wife knows you cross dress and you spend a lot of time indoors with her. I worked in an office environment for over thirty years. Yes, I saw a lot of well attire women in heels, skirts and blouses, suits and dresses. Me? I tend to be more casual. I have to assume winters are cold in Canada. What's wrong with sweater dresses and classy boots? What's wrong with donning a pretty new dress, heels and hosiery and whipping up an elegant dinner for your wife? Improvise.

  10. #10
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Google images might be your best inspiration for "new fashions". https://www.google.com/search?q=%22n...=1441&bih=1007
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  11. #11
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    I would say you are not adhusted to the ( as I call it) country life, small town attitude, or the rural folks way. I live near a very small Mayberry type town. The men still meet at the Diary Quees every morning for early coffee, the women meet at the beauty shop. Gossip and stories abound from both places. I still fit in but also if they knew I had my panties on under the wranglers they'd be teasing me and talking about me behind my back. We have a grocery store that sells panty hose dry goods and the staples. Relaxed little town. I have to drive 80 miles to find any type of bigger chain stores. My point is you have to adapt to the minor forms of dressing. Lots of under dressing but not a full blown dress up you might be used to in your bag office city.
    I don't think you'll be able to not dress at all. JMHO because I've tried it.
    What's wrong with living in the styles that the other women in your town live in? Past styles are still CDing.
    Yes you can hide leggings under your overhauls.... Especially in the cold Canada.
    You gave big city a try now give rural town a try and be inventive try new ways of under dressing but save the tall heels n makeup for the wigs n nighties n dress any way you want in the privacy of your home. About once a month you might even venture out of town with the wife fully dressed. Just might have to leave and return in the dark. Welcome to small town living. It's already been talked about staying up to date on new styles by way of Internet.

  12. #12
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I don't get it

  13. #13
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    I"m with Magella on this....I'm not sure I understand the quandry

  14. #14
    Member alesha's Avatar
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    It’s been said a couple of time already but the internet is a great resource. There are tons of blogs out there of women posting ootd (outfit of the day) pics and a lot of them are office attire. Use them for inspiration.

  15. #15
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    The town I am in is not very large but has some nice places. But wearing a skirt and top out with sandals or small heels are accepted most anywhere for dinner out and other places. Does that place have a movie place? just change your style. I wear a casual denim skirt and top and no problems and had really nice conversations with waitress and they never have asked me about cross dressing. I think they think you are a interesting person and get more talkative with you.
    Part Time Girl

  16. #16
    Member Periwinkle's Avatar
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    Oh jeez. I may love cities, but a small mountain town sounds lovely.

    I'd wear lots of layered dresses with lace and cozy cardigans. And, of course, cute boots and stockings! It just sounds like such a peaceful environment with lovely scenery. Just thinking about it gets me inspired. Trade me! XD

  17. #17
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    ...or order pretty much anything from the Sundance catalogue

  18. #18
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Go out and observe what is being worn in the grocery store/general store! Watch what is being worn by those walking down the street! Go to church and observe! Many women here wear skirts and dresses on Sunday with... can I say it...Pantyhose! I also see 10% to 25% wearing them during the week! Observe and dress from what you observe! If you want make trips to the city to wear what you want! The decision is yours but this is never going away! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  19. #19
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Pinterest, if you are looking for ideas check this out. Leggings are like the new blue jeans, but there are more colors to choose form.

  20. #20
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    Hi Nikki, Just do yourself a favor and don't PURGE.>Orchid......
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  21. #21
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    As someone whose desires come and go all the time, my take on your situation (as a few others have said) is that your loss of interest is not due to lack of fashionable clothes to tempt and inspire you, but probably more to do with your change in lifestyle. You are obviously on the internet so have access to literally millions of images and articles of fashion, clothes, women etc etc... if that doesn't inspire you then nothing will.

    When i have the need to dress I could be trapped in a cave in the pitch dark and the need would be the same as if I was in woman's clothing store
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Tahoegurl's Avatar
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    For me...I just have a variety of outfits I like...kind of like a gg wow have ...clothes to meet the occasion. Congrats on the retirement. Cheers
    Life is too short to be boring...Alexandra

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