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Thread: Starting Therapy

  1. #1
    Junior Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    Starting Therapy

    Iím finally starting therapy (with a gender therapist) next week after 43 years of wondering, what ifís and often doubting who I really am. It seems for me that the past 10 years have been the hardest to get through always wanting something different in life. Iím so hoping that therapy will help set me on the right track!

  2. #2
    Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    Good luck! Hope you find the answers you seek.
    You are you. You are beautiful. Labels are worthless.

  3. #3
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Yes, good luck. Be open and direct and trusting that the therapist knows her stuff. If not satisfied look for a new one.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    I had a very good first session with the therapist. She was great and well versed in dealing with gender issues. Still many questions and discussions to be had but itís a start! Iím looking forward to more discussion and discovery!

  5. #5
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    Im glad you are seeking help. You are at an age when so many trans people start to deal with their inner gender issues
    I am real

  6. #6
    Living MY Life Rachel Smith's Avatar
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    Steph I hope you find your true happiness no matter where your therapy leads you

    Hugs
    Rachel
    My parents should have known something wasn't quite right when I kept putting Kens' head on Barbies' body Rachel Smith May 2017

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  7. #7
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    I just finished my third session with my therapist. It is so refreshing to talk to someone who is challenging me with questions and helping me so much to understand myself. Also a blessing to talk to a female who does not have a personal stake in my decision to transition or not.
    Hugs and Kisses,
    Carla Renae

  8. #8
    Junior Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    I have another session booked for Monday, Dec. 11th. I look forward to continuing this! I asked my therapist about attending this session presenting as myself (Stephanie) and she told me I should attend in whatever way makes me happy. It is great to speak with someone who isnít judgemental and challenges me with additional questions and advise.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Adelaide's Avatar
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    Seeing a gender therapist brought me inner peace. I now know that what I've been feeling for years was right... I am a woman inside. But be careful when exposing your S.O. to it all. I brought my wife in a session to speak with the therapist in an effort to help my family situation....she was shocked, completely shattered, feeling as if her entire life was a lie.... It has been very difficult at home for me ever since.
    Wish you nothing but the best.

  10. #10
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    I know exactly what you mean Adelaide. I recently started therapy myself and I am beginning to find that peace as well. I have not taken my wife to therapy nor do I intend to. She has been reacting the exact same way. She told me that she would never have married me 21 years ago if she knew I was transgender. She said she also considered leaving when I came out to her 10 years ago. So thankful that I now have a gender therapist that I can talk to.
    Hugs and Kisses,
    Carla Renae

  11. #11
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    Hey Steph, I made the decision to begin therapy in January of this year with my wifeís encouragement. This has been quite possibly the best decision I have ever made. So life changing in fact that my wife and children cannot believe my mood these days. I donít know how I survived for 50 years with the anger and confusion created by my gender issues. I am now on a low dose of hrt and enjoying my life and family more than ever. Stay positive and enjoy the ride.! Tonya

  12. #12
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    Hi Stephanie

    I've also just had my first session! I hope we are both able to navigate our way through this, but we can be encouraged by the support we receive here and by those who are further travelled.

    Take care

    Rian x

  13. #13
    Junior Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    Thank you all so much everyone! My next appointment is tomorrow and as I pointed out below I am / was planning to attend this appointment enfemme but now I’m second guessing that? Call it nerves, guilt, I’m not sure. My wife is not aware of this side of me and I’ve made arrangements to get ready for my appointment at a hotel and that’s where the guilt is really coming in. I hate keeping this from her and part of what I wanted from therapy is to help me address this with her. That is why I feel so much guilt! I’m planning to go to my appointment regardless of how I present as I know I need it! I have been planning to dress since my last appointment, even buying a new dress to wear, but I feel so bad about all of this! What to do!?
    Last edited by Rianna Humble; 12-11-2017 at 10:51 AM. Reason: there are male and female members here

  14. #14
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Stephanie -- Sounds like you won't have a problem coming up with something to talk about at the session. This is a huge item and since you're feeling guilt it seems like it might be ripe. Dress or don't as you feel at the moment. But if you allow your personality to change when you dress (as many do in the early stages) it might bring the "right" you to bear on the problem. If your personality is constant, then it probably doesn't matter as much.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  15. #15
    Junior Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    Thank you Pat! When my therapist and I discussed me attending my next session outwardly as Stephanie it was so that I could tell her how I felt while like this and what it means to me. I believe I there is only one me and My female self has always been part of me. I donít believe my personality changes that much!

    I just returned from my session and I did indeed attend as I had planned as a female. My therapist was great with it and complimented me on my presentation and we discussed just how this made me feel. In summary I told her it just felt right! We did discuss a referral to the gender clinic for further assessment and HRT. In my city there are 2 clinics who specialize in this and the wait could be a year. During my next session I will most likely take this referral for that but continue to see my therapist on a regular basis.

  16. #16
    Silver Member
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    I’ll never forget the first time I went to see my therapist en femme. She didn’t buzz me in as usual, then opened the door as asked if she could help me. ... She didn’t recognize me.

    It seem you are approaching therapy as just that. I’m happy to read it! Too many go as a pro-forma task to get a letter for HRT. You can learn a lot about yourself with a good therapist.
    I am older than I once was,
    And younger than I'll be. ...
    After changes upon changes
    We are more or less the same;
    After changes we are more or less the same.

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