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Thread: Starting Therapy

  1. #1
    Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    Starting Therapy

    Iím finally starting therapy (with a gender therapist) next week after 43 years of wondering, what ifís and often doubting who I really am. It seems for me that the past 10 years have been the hardest to get through always wanting something different in life. Iím so hoping that therapy will help set me on the right track!

  2. #2
    Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    Good luck! Hope you find the answers you seek.
    You are you. You are beautiful. Labels are worthless.

  3. #3
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Yes, good luck. Be open and direct and trusting that the therapist knows her stuff. If not satisfied look for a new one.

  4. #4
    Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    I had a very good first session with the therapist. She was great and well versed in dealing with gender issues. Still many questions and discussions to be had but itís a start! Iím looking forward to more discussion and discovery!

  5. #5
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    Im glad you are seeking help. You are at an age when so many trans people start to deal with their inner gender issues
    I am real

  6. #6
    Living MY Life Rachel Smith's Avatar
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    Steph I hope you find your true happiness no matter where your therapy leads you

    Hugs
    Rachel
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  7. #7
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    I just finished my third session with my therapist. It is so refreshing to talk to someone who is challenging me with questions and helping me so much to understand myself. Also a blessing to talk to a female who does not have a personal stake in my decision to transition or not.
    Hugs and Kisses,
    Carla Renae

  8. #8
    Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    I have another session booked for Monday, Dec. 11th. I look forward to continuing this! I asked my therapist about attending this session presenting as myself (Stephanie) and she told me I should attend in whatever way makes me happy. It is great to speak with someone who isnít judgemental and challenges me with additional questions and advise.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Adelaide's Avatar
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    Seeing a gender therapist brought me inner peace. I now know that what I've been feeling for years was right... I am a woman inside. But be careful when exposing your S.O. to it all. I brought my wife in a session to speak with the therapist in an effort to help my family situation....she was shocked, completely shattered, feeling as if her entire life was a lie.... It has been very difficult at home for me ever since.
    Wish you nothing but the best.

  10. #10
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    I know exactly what you mean Adelaide. I recently started therapy myself and I am beginning to find that peace as well. I have not taken my wife to therapy nor do I intend to. She has been reacting the exact same way. She told me that she would never have married me 21 years ago if she knew I was transgender. She said she also considered leaving when I came out to her 10 years ago. So thankful that I now have a gender therapist that I can talk to.
    Hugs and Kisses,
    Carla Renae

  11. #11
    New Member Tonya Renee's Avatar
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    Hey Steph, I made the decision to begin therapy in January of this year with my wifeís encouragement. This has been quite possibly the best decision I have ever made. So life changing in fact that my wife and children cannot believe my mood these days. I donít know how I survived for 50 years with the anger and confusion created by my gender issues. I am now on a low dose of hrt and enjoying my life and family more than ever. Stay positive and enjoy the ride.! Tonya

  12. #12
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    Hi Stephanie

    I've also just had my first session! I hope we are both able to navigate our way through this, but we can be encouraged by the support we receive here and by those who are further travelled.

    Take care

    Rian x

  13. #13
    Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    Thank you all so much everyone! My next appointment is tomorrow and as I pointed out below I am / was planning to attend this appointment enfemme but now I’m second guessing that? Call it nerves, guilt, I’m not sure. My wife is not aware of this side of me and I’ve made arrangements to get ready for my appointment at a hotel and that’s where the guilt is really coming in. I hate keeping this from her and part of what I wanted from therapy is to help me address this with her. That is why I feel so much guilt! I’m planning to go to my appointment regardless of how I present as I know I need it! I have been planning to dress since my last appointment, even buying a new dress to wear, but I feel so bad about all of this! What to do!?
    Last edited by Rianna Humble; 12-11-2017 at 10:51 AM. Reason: there are male and female members here

  14. #14
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Stephanie -- Sounds like you won't have a problem coming up with something to talk about at the session. This is a huge item and since you're feeling guilt it seems like it might be ripe. Dress or don't as you feel at the moment. But if you allow your personality to change when you dress (as many do in the early stages) it might bring the "right" you to bear on the problem. If your personality is constant, then it probably doesn't matter as much.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  15. #15
    Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    Thank you Pat! When my therapist and I discussed me attending my next session outwardly as Stephanie it was so that I could tell her how I felt while like this and what it means to me. I believe I there is only one me and My female self has always been part of me. I donít believe my personality changes that much!

    I just returned from my session and I did indeed attend as I had planned as a female. My therapist was great with it and complimented me on my presentation and we discussed just how this made me feel. In summary I told her it just felt right! We did discuss a referral to the gender clinic for further assessment and HRT. In my city there are 2 clinics who specialize in this and the wait could be a year. During my next session I will most likely take this referral for that but continue to see my therapist on a regular basis.

  16. #16
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    I’ll never forget the first time I went to see my therapist en femme. She didn’t buzz me in as usual, then opened the door and asked if she could help me. ... She didn’t recognize me.

    It seem you are approaching therapy as just that. I’m happy to read it! Too many go as a pro-forma task to get a letter for HRT. You can learn a lot about yourself with a good therapist.
    Last edited by LeaP; 01-05-2018 at 11:56 PM. Reason: Typo
    I am older than I once was,
    And younger than I'll be. ...
    After changes upon changes
    We are more or less the same;
    After changes we are more or less the same.

  17. #17
    Member VanTG's Avatar
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    Never to late to start therapy. Its not easy and it does take a lot of work but if you really want it, you will do it and it will be the best thing you decided to do.

  18. #18
    Senior Member IleneD's Avatar
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    Stephanie,
    Bless your heart. Stories like yours' are why I come to these pages.
    I too am at the beginning; literally at the threshold of seeking a gender therapist. The last year of "serious" crossdressing and learning about myself convinced me that this isn't just a passing hobby or pastime. This is about the deep inside real me.
    It took me courage to even arrive at that realization. I'm certain you went through the same struggles, doubts and fear. I built up the courage one day last month to walk into our local LGBT Center (of Denver). I shook hands and looked around. Asked a few questions. But I didn't take the leap. I didn't inquire about or schedule gender counseling. I didn't make a reservation for the weekly group session. For that day, just entering the facility was a big step forward. I know you too have gone through the same thing. I so admire your courage and resolve.
    Stories like yours give me the courage too, to seek a bit of professional help, if not just for me then for everyone around me who will need peace and understanding.
    Thank you, Steph.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanielawrence View Post
    Call it nerves, guilt, Iím not sure. My wife is not aware of this side of me and .....
    Steph,
    Love your story. Love your resolve to be You. (read my post).
    BUT... dear. Please do not go any further until you have a sit-down discussion with your wife. I know. This will be the single most difficult moment of your life. As CDs and transgender women (who had or have female wives), we've all had The Talk; the moment of truth.
    Not to be overly critical. I love and support all the girls on this forum, including you. BUT.... I can't imagine going to any type of medical appointments or procedures, especially one of such a critical nature as taking hormones, without sharing this with my spouse. Steph, what you are doing with HRT is a big Life Decision. The possibility that you want to be a woman is important too. It changes your relationship forever. You know that and it's why you haven't come out to her yet.
    You have to do it. Don't wait to be caught and then have to concoct some expedient reason for it. Tell your wife about your dressing and possibly being a transgender woman. It will eventually come out and maybe not on your terms.
    With all love and respect.
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  19. #19
    Member Stephanielawrence's Avatar
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    Thank you again ladies! I had another therapy session today and I attended again as my true self! Therapy has been great and is helping me and is creating more confusion and questions. There is no question as to who I am but how I would move forward and how I see my life in years to come is the big question. How I will I deal with family, friends, career and so many things to consider. I am thankful that I did finally start therapy. I also look forward to continuing. 522D32E9-0255-45C6-8F21-EF27BDE11DD0.jpg

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