Juggling crossdressing and partner's need.

[Rayleen]

Have been CD for quite a while and having a great relationship with my gal came to some conclusion:

1- communication is a must.

2 -never neglect her with her need for attention.

3- Always make her always feel the great mate she was since you met her.

4- go slow with your change and let her now your intention.

I now most of you have your own ways , and your welcome to expressed them

[docrobbysherry]

U left out a most important one, Rayleen.

5. Relationships r a 2 way street. She needs to do the same for u!

[Teresa]

Rayleen,
I wish it was as simple as that, when all those finally fail to work there's no place to go .

As Sherry implies it's a two way arrangement , when it's all give and no take and the only thing you get back is an impossible DADT situation there is only one outcome , after 43 years it's come to that and we are both happy with it . It took a separation to finally be honest with each other .

[Sarah Doepner]

There will be times when you really feel the need to dress and may be frustrated in having to attend to her needs instead of yours. Learn to be aware of your emotions and hers as well. Be up front about why you are cranky and be willing to accept criticism. A thick skin may be required from time to time as emotions overrule common sense. There will be times when it all seems to go against you and if you take it personally it will continue that way. Cultivate patience enough to let those times blow over.

[Alice B]

I totally agree with your comments

[Rayleen]

Docrobbysherry you are right, it should be mutual to last.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rayleen, Just be careful and don't overwhelm her with your CDing.>Orchid......

[NancySue]

In addition to the 5 listed, Add #6. Be completely honest with each other, no equivocations, no exceptions. Worked for me.

[Rayleen]

Blue Orchid , You are right on taking it slowly, communicating both ways to know her feelings,

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Nancy, I learned that too, have a lot of ladies friends and she knows I'm honest with her all the way.

[Micki_Finn]

I would agree but those pretty much apply to EVERY relationship.

[Ariana225]

Rayleen,

Just remember it is a roller coaster as well. One minute you're going up and the next you're going down. It's all about timing. My wife is incredibly more accepting because of the way I time conversations and my girly time.

If she had a bad day and just wants to relax and watch tv, she isn't going to want you to "waste time" getting all dolled up or trying to have heart to heart conversations about it.

Shopping for your wife is fun activity for both of you. That way it's not all about you and she will grow to appreciate that you can give input on if a dress is cute or not. I like to call those type of moments "perks for being married to a crossdressser".

Additionally to that, another one is giving her a pedi or a mani. That way she is receiving something out of the situation and once again, it's not all about the crossdresser.

Hope I gave you good advice. I noticed you more recently came out to your wife than me.

[Rayleen]

Roberta,

We have been shopping together for a few years since I'm driving and she always as me advice for her selection. A lots of occasion I will suggest items that I know she would enjoy and she approved. Even on the internet, I do help her and she loves it.

We are at home and we have time to relax and like you said, I choose the good timing .

Thanks for the great advice.

[Beverley Sims]

Rayleen,
Reading through the replies, I think you have it right, just take it slowly and when you strike a snag, just breathe in and be patient.

Here's to a good relationship. :-0

[Ariana225]

Sounds like you are doing everything right! I love hearing stories of accepting wives. It warms my heart!

[Rayleen]

There will be times when you really feel the need to dress and may be frustrated in having to attend to her needs instead of yours. Learn to be aware of your emotions and hers as well. Be up front about why you are cranky and be willing to accept criticism. A thick skin may be required from time to time as emotions overrule common sense. There will be times when it all seems to go against you and if you take it personally it will continue that way. Cultivate patience enough to let those times blow over.

Very true Sarah , everything make sense, Thanks, Will meditate on it.