Cowardly to not challenge the screed?

[Rogina B]

In the OP's post,it was made clear that the "friend" did not approve of "alphabet kids" in the military as well as the VA spending on Trans care for Vets. That is plain wrong ! Telling this person why they are on the wrong side of the issue is the right thing to do. There is such thing as replacing the term "friend" for "someone I know" after you realize they "will never get it and don't care to". The OP does not have a true friend in this person because she will or may never be accepted for what she may be.

[Sarasometimes]

First of all thank you for helping to protect and defend our great land and by having done so, you are clearly not a coward! You aired your opinion with him and as you stated he is old school so I doubt you could have swayed him if you persisted. It is not your obligation to reveal your details due to someone else's behavior. If and when you feel the time is right, you can reveal more about yourself to those you feel the need to tell.
I have many associates that are as bigoted as the best of them and they have no idea about this side of me and frankly, I feel no need or motivation to tell them. As someone once said, you can't fix stupid (IMHO that is what bigotry is along with a large dose of ignorance).

[IleneD]

THIS IS WHY I RETURN TO THIS FORUM.
You girls, you Members are amazing people. I wish I had time and space to personally reply to each one of you by name on this thread. Every response had a worthwhile answer. Many were wise and thoughtful. Your shared experiences on this matter are quite valuable to me, and helps shape my thinking for the future. I took away something from every response, even those ones that appeared to contradict each other. This is what I come this website for.

The advice was fairly uniform. Members said it was wise to walk away and not make a scene before my friend. Thank you. It probably saved me a long friendship. At least I will KNOW for the future where he stands on such issues and take it into account.

I don't see this guy very often; maybe every 2-3 months or irregularly. The next time I see him I will gently approach this again; perhaps appeal to his intelligence and intellect (that I know he has.) Your advice, again, is helping me formulate a polite and reasoned approach to engage the discussion.

And yes, a few of you emboldened me to stand taller for TG rights and issues in the future. It's so easy to be quiet and say nothing in the face of ignorance or challenge. I'm quite impressed at the high visibility TG's who have literally thrown themselves at the mercy of the mob; Jenner, Kris Beck, etc. And those of you who have transitioned and had war stories to tell, I applaud your courage as well. I want to be more "visible". I want to be a little more outspoken and REAL. It's wise to pick one's fights (yes), but I want to just be Me without shame.

And last but not least, you very fine girls of the forum reminded me that it is INDEED a cold cruel world out there for queer men like me; crossdressers, transgenders, .... most of the LGBT spectrum. As good as I feel about it and myself; as well publicized the equal rights movements, and as widely as "acceptance" has appeared to gain acceptance ..... it is still The World, owned, operated and populated by the normals. Even friends or family can turn unthoughtfully cruel on a topic so humanly intimate. THANKS FOR THE REMINDER to keep my eyes open, ears hearing, maintain situational awareness and expose myself to fire as little as possible.

Once again, I thank you all. You have my deepest respects. You are beautiful, wonderful women in your own right. Makes me proud to me a member of this board.

[GretchenM]

Well and beautifully stated. I think I might print that out, frame it, and hang it on the wall.

[Pumped]

I won't out myself, but I will make a stand for the "cause" whether it is crossdressing or LGBT. I let negative people know that I support them and don't look to me to get on thier anti band wagon.

For the crazy macho guys it is not worth the battle. State you case, don't out yourself, and walk away.

[BrendaPDX]

I can't say I would have done differently, you can't be Superman all the time. The fact that you realize how you wanted to act means you are on the right path. I have heard a term "Not the hill I wanted to die on today". Don't be so hard on yourself. Take care, Brenda

[Sallee]

You no doubt handled it correctly, then just write him off. The other option would have been to let him rant and then tell him calmly you're transgendered then produce a picture

[IleneD]

Pumped;
Appreciate your reasoned response. Don't out yourself but it's still possible to take a stand for what's right.
So correct. Lord, let me find that ideal middle way.

[giuseppina]

Sometimes, the best response is no response at all. One has to choose which battles to fight, and part of the equation is personal safety.

[lingerieLiz]

There are those who will never change their views. I saw it in the south during desegregation. While many realized change needed to happen some refused to accept any of it. They simply dug a hole to crawl into. Refused to go anywhere that segregation was not enforced. Wouldn't go to movies because of mixed audiences. Ended up living a hateful life and dying remembered as a terrible person.

You can only educate someone who is interested in learning.