If you became single again, What ?

[Rayleen]

As I was walking as I usually do, it came to mind if I was single again and it could well be, what direction would I take.

I could be free to enjoy my pastime CD
I could consider therapy for sex orientation
I could consider crossing over and move to another town.

Have you ever think about this and what are your opinions ?

something to meditate on for sure !!!

[NicoleScott]

I did become single again, and at the same time moved to a new town for a new job, where I knew nobody. Outside of normal office hours M-F, I was free to dress as much as I wanted. I learned that 3-4 timed a week was all i needed, and often more than I needed. I like close shaves before I make up, and 2-3 day beard growth gives me the closest shaves. Very close shaves every day is hard on my face skin. I can't just dress. I need the works.
I also learned I am a crossdresser, a guy who likes to dress up. Nothing else. It's about me, my clothes, shoes, makeup, wigs, nails, jewelry, accessories, etc. And very importantly, my mirrors (plural!), and my camera and computer.

[Jaylyn]

I really think I've found the one soul mate for life. I'm not ever planning on being single again. Ours is now 47 years n counting. I suppose though every one has to put their priorities in order. Good luck in your decisions Rayleen. Hope you find what you want in life.

[NicoleScott]

Jaylyn, you are so fortunate to have found "the one".
There are many members who are single again, for different reasons. And there are members who, again for different reasons, are facing the possibility that they may soon be single again.
My advice is to avoid making important decisions, like moving or transition, during stressful times (death, divorce...). But contemplating such an event isn't wishing it.

[Rayleen]

I did become single again, and at the same time moved to a new town for a new job, where I knew nobody. Outside of normal office hours M-F, I was free to dress as much as I wanted. I learned that 3-4 timed a week was all i needed, and often more than I needed. I like close shaves before I make up, and 2-3 day beard growth gives me the closest shaves. Very close shaves every day is hard on my face skin. I can't just dress. I need the works.
I also learned I am a crossdresser, a guy who likes to dress up. Nothing else. It's about me, my clothes, shoes, makeup, wigs, nails, jewelry, accessories, etc. And very importantly, my mirrors (plural!), and my camera and computer.

Nicole , I also like the way you went, the difference is I'm retired and can go and come as I want and move if not suitable.

[Rachael Leigh]

Well I don't have to wait I'm going to be single again next year.
It's been the catalyst got me going towards transition. I'm full time at work now and I'm so enjoying being me
Rachael

[carhill2mn]

I did become single again several years ago. I now spend about 90% of my time presenting as a woman. There is no one telling me what I should be doing or not doing except me.

[ShelbyDawn]

I became single again five years ago. As they say, the pendulum swings both ways. I went crazy with the pink fog. Makeup, wig, clothes, shoes,Dressing as much as possible, going out in public dressed. I have since mellowed, gaining a more accurate perspective on what works for me and what I need to be happy. I now underdress every day, sleep in a nightgown, and lounge around my apartment dressed but have given up on ever passing and as such, have lost the wig and makeup. If things change again, I’m sure I’ll adapt again.

[Elizabeth G]

I suppose a lot of self discovery would occur for me. It's easy in a hypothetical like this for my mind to ruin wild so rihht now my my thoughts are that I would come out to a bunch of people and outside of work I would be free to dress all the time, and who knows maybe go further. However reality might be very different. I would have to just see where things led me. One thing is for certain though I would finally get rid of all this unwanted body hair

[nikkim83]

I love my wife with all my heart, but if I were to become single again I would not remain my birth assigned gender. I stay what I am for my wife and kids.

I would then remain single until the day I went home.

[Joan58]

If I were to become single it would mean my wife preceded me in death, a sober thought for sure. Most likely
I would not change much about how I live,as I can freely dress now,maybe just get out amongst others more often.

[Tracii G]

When my ex walked out my whole world opened up.
Dressing was not a thing I was doing while I was married I just felt free of having to live in constraints and having to put up with her.
All things got better and dressing was something I could partake in more.
So my coming out was not a big deal and she knows all about me now and is glad I am happy.

[sara66]

If something were to happen. I would move to another state ( nothing to do with dressing). I would probably spend more time out dressed. Definitely have a lager wardrobe. I don't think I would marry again. I liked be single, I didn't get married until I was 40 and only had dated 2 woman in my life.
Sara

[Dana44]

After 62 years of going thru girls. I have finally found my soul mate and she is accepting. It took an awful long time. I did try men. But they only want sex no love from them. So I gave this girl a chance and it is great to have her.

[alesha]

But contemplating such an event isn't wishing it.

Very well put.

I would be devastated if I were to be single again. I would eventually move on and may be find a way to transition but there are other considerations to take into account, mainly kids and work.

[Teresa]

Rayleen,
I will be separated in the next few weeks , I'm planning to move about 20 miles from my current home and family , so it's far enough away to do my own thing but near enough to keep in touch with my family obligations .

While I wouldn't call it a pastime I will be free to dress as I choose , I hope it will be 100% , that all depends on the family ties !

My intention is to set up an art group and run it from my home as Teresa, I have already made inquiries and have the support of the SAA( Society of All Artists) they will give me guidance on forming and running a group and supply me with materials. They have also welcomed me to attend their workshops and open days with my group obviously accepting me as Teresa . I have Emailed some pictures so they know what to expect .

Where my gender issues go from there who can say ? I'll be more than happy walking my dog , doing my shopping and all the other every day jobs .

[LeannS]

I would give myself some time to refocus and then start the road to transition.
and moving would be part of the program

but I am not going to rock the boat to get to that point either.
If only wishes could be fishes
I could see the game warden now writing out a ticket for over the limit on wishes.

[Stephanie Nicole]

I became single again late last year, as others have said, I too did not dress while I was married except for the extremely rare occasion when my wife was out of town. Afterwards I bought quite a few things and spent as much time dressed as possible, even going out a few times ( mostly on drives but a few times shopping also). I am nowhere near passable and as such do not wear makeup except for lipstick occasionally and only wear clip on earrings and a necklace for jewelry. As I have said in other posts I met a wonderful woman who not only accepts my dressing but encourages it. I am so happy being with and around her that I asked her to marry me.

[Pat]

I could consider therapy for sex orientation

I don't understand that one. Are you saying you're having trouble accepting your sexual orientation? Or did you mean to type gender identity? (It doesn't seem to match the other things in the list.) My understanding of sexual orientation is there's nothing (healthy) you can do about it -- it is what it is. Of course, the same is true of gender identity -- all you can really do is accept it or suppress it.

I read an interesting article that said people "come out" about their gender identities when they experience some kind of existential crisis -- age, near-death experience, loss of love, etc. I know it's true for me. I've read lots of people's stories and it seems to be largely true for them too. So if you became single again and gender was important to you, you might well do any of those things.

My choice was to go down a long, winding path to a non-binary transition. Yours will be, well, yours.

[Heidi Stevens]

First, you don’t have to be single to see a gender therapist, Rayleen. If you have any doubts about yourself, go find out.

I was asked by the professionals I have seen, for my dysphioria and subsequent care, a form of your question. They wanted to know my goals and how it involved my marriage. I honestly answered that what ever her requirements were to stay together, I would meet them. She is my only reason to be presenting myself as a male. As stated by others, she would have to precede me in death for me to peruse any other course. Love is a strange thing. Even though she objects to me dressing, she has given me some ground rules that we both can abide by. I do not find them hard to accept all. Like I said, Love is a strange thing.

They also wanted to know my course if she were to pass. There I honestly explained I would leave the area for a while and proceed with living as my true self full time. After a period of time I would possibly return to the area a new person to all our friends, even though I’m still the person I’ve always been.

[katiej1989]

I've thought about that (often) and know that if I were to become single again, I would most likely dress regularly and begin to transition to dressing full time in my life.

But, my wife and I are very committed to each other and odds of us splitting are fairly low, so I don't dwell on it too much.

[Rayleen]

To explane some points in my statement, for health reason of my partner, could become single again. Then not in a rush of mixed emotion will think it thru for a while. What I was talking about is going for consultation to help me for myself , but one thing is sure...I will not stop my CD . Time enough to focus on my future and where I want for me. It will be time for me for sure.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Sometimes I have difficulty accepting my gender identity, being born in the wrong gender.

[Ressie]

I've been single with my own home since 2005. My crossdressing has increased and closets are overflowing with female clothes. For the first couple of years I found that the women I met and found attractive were all married. I started having sex with men for the last 3 years instead.

Now it's getting harder to see myself getting into another romantic relationship with a female. Between finding one that's pro CDing and that I also would love for all the other reasons, it seems far fetched. Heck, maybe I need a therapist!

[Lana Mae]

I am single. My wife passed away two years ago! Shortly after that I started dressing! Now my nail are polished and my ears are pierced. I wear panties, women's jeans and shoes/sneakers and a male/unisex top! That is my attire except at work! If I go out en femme, it is with bra, forms and wig and make up! I just started dressing at 65! I am just going with the flow on my journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rayleen, At my age I probably change a thing.>Orchid......