I did become single a little more then two years ago. I live as Jean a transgender person. I represent as male at work and female the rest of the time. When I thought about living this way, I thought I would have to move out of the area. I did the exact opposite, I did it in the town I grew up in. Growing up here was how I became part of the in crowd. It's pretty crazy if you think about it. I've come so far in a short period of time.
I honestly don't know. And to tell the truth - I'm in no hurry to find out.
OK, not that I've gotten that out of the way, H-m-m-m
I don't think I'd seek another partner.
I do think I"d be more "girly" on a regular basis, but decided years ago that transition is not for me.
Maybe I'd get more active in the LGBT(etc) community.
'bout it.
I do experience being single every now and then. It's interesting to be able to live as a woman for awhile but there's that underlying feeling of loneliness that is haunting. I do enjoy the experience but, I'm so happy when she's back home. If I were to become single, I would certainly downsize and think about retiring earlier. I just wonder if after doing all of the CD bucket list stuff, what would be the next adventure?
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Careful what you wish for. You might just get it.
Divorce would be painful to be sure. It would make transitioning more possible though.
I haven't thought about being single. I enjoy my life as it is, with one exception. The caveat is I don't dress and if I were single, I'd be free to do it as I chose to.
I became single again, via a long separation and then divorce, after 30+ years of marriage. I moved closer to NYC, decided to present en femme socially as much as possible, and found that I could handle it 3 or 4 days each week. I met my second wife while dressed, we became girlfriends before lovers, she is totally accepting and approving partly because there never were any dark secrets to reveal, and today I have never been happier.
BTW in the divorce I decided it was in my best long-term interest, and for the best in family politics, to just roll over financially. The nut included an executive-level 401K, a big house on a lake in Connecticut, and a business property, all sold in 2005-06, at the peak before the crash. So it was very expensive for me, but I got the best value for money I’ve ever spent. As an old friend told me, a retired divorce lawyer who is also trans, “guys like you get back on their feet in a couple of years, don’t worry about the money and go for what you really want.” Best advice I ever took.
Last edited by Jackie7; 10-27-2017 at 09:03 AM.
For me it's been 20 years and it's been hard. I'm ready to go!!!!!!!
Yes more to time to CD,and yes maybe will consider to transition.
I am in the process of separating from my wife after almost ten years of marriage. My CD'ing didn't come out until the end, it wasn't the cause of our separation, but an underlying cause of depression and anxiety which was more of the cause. I found a good therapist who is helping me come to terms with myself. So I have a new start on the horizon and we will see what it brings.
Intrigued by Ressie's response to this topic, and making a choice to date men after giving up on finding a woman. Couldn't imagine life without my wife, yet my imagination spins widely about assuming a female role with a gender male. Curiosity can be a dangerous thing, yet wonder if others made that choice as well?
I was married for 40+ years when my wife passed away. Within a few weeks in this empty house I started dressing much more often. Several months later an adult son needed a place to live with his young daughters and I fell back in the closet. That's been about a year now and although I'm single, I'm not living that way. I'm getting older by the day and wanting to see what the world holds for me as a single person once again. I have no idea what I'll do but I'll be starting at square one and probably go through the "kid in a candy store" phase again. Stay tuned.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
I have these musings from time to time although I plan things around the fact that I am happily married.
Maybe a similar freedom and enjoyment as when I was twenty but I think a little more of a lonely existence now.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
The only way I could become single again would be the death of my wife and she should live longer than me. At 75 nothing would change other than dressing more.
Wow what a great question. At this age it is difficult to say. I know I would keep dressing and probably dress more often. Beyond that probably remain as I am - " A cutie pie in a dress." lol
Good question, you already realize that. I am a cross dresser and have been since I was 6 year's old.
If my wife were to precede me in death I wouldn't look for another woman to take her place. I would be content being alone with myself.
If I were to meet a GG I would make sure that she knew Cheryl right off. She would have to love Cheryl first.
I know i am one of the few singles on here. Never knew what it would be like to not be single. It is lonely a lot, with no one to share life with, and even dressing gets old at times.
I have to agree with Cheryl, my wife and I have been together for over 37 years and if something would to happen I have no intentions of getting married again. I was lucky to find my one true love at a young age and if I was by myself I would just use it to have more Angie time. More Angie time is not a bad thing.
I have been single for several years and I live in a large, secluded house. I only have to be in the office 2-3 days a week so spend almost all my time in skirts and dresses (or nightdress at night). My legs and armpits are shaved and I have Minx toes (pedicure with coloured stick on transfers). I occasionally go out as a woman and that is the only time I wear make up or a wig - I don't want to be a woman but I love the clothes and how I look in them. Am I happy on my own? Yes, very much so. Would I be even happier with the right woman? Yes. I like intelligent, open-minded women anyway but most of my partners have not been into clothes and were not comfortable with how stylish my wardrobe was, but at least one used to like me to sleep in a nightie. Being on my own brings other freedoms I enjoy like going to bed and getting up when I feel like it and reading or playing music in the middle of the night (remember my house is secluded so no neighbours to disturb). Recently met a wonderful woman who is in a relationship (not actually married) but has let me know she is not happy - I met her when I was wearing a dress so if something develops it will obviously not be an issue.
Next year my wife and I get to the 50 year mark. So I don't think being single again is on the board. Nor do I wish it. Well just say it happened if I was 35 years younger I may have thought about going over to the other side.
Angie
If I were single again, I am sure I would do more dressing then I do now. Not too sure about much else.
If I were to become single again it would be only due to the passing of my wife. At my age (70) I believe I would remain single and have absolutely zero entanglements. That would let me Stephanie whenever I felt the need or desire.
I became 'single' again about 20 years ago. I'm one of those who had stopped crossdressing for over ten years, and thought that I had 'beaten it'. I really believed that I'd never do it again. A few years after I got married, the crap hit the fan, and the urge returned with a vengeance. Several years later, we got divorced. At that time, all I knew was how I wound up being a crossdresser. My ex thought otherwise. So, I decided to figure out exactly where I stood, as far as finding another mate. And the prospects weren't good. Each book I read, showed pretty much the same thing: That the figures were stacked against me. Only 6 percent of women thought it ok for a man to crossdress. Three percent would accept it in someone they knew. And one and a half percent thought that they could accept it in a mate. I found it interesting that each time, the numbers were about halved. When I went to therapy with my wife, the therapist told us that of the women that thought they could deal with it, about half again, eventually wound up splitting up with their crossdressing SO.
(I've rounded off the stats to the nearest whole number, but each time, it was very, very close).
So. The end result was that less than 1% of women are able to deal with having a crossdressing mate. And that's not acceptance, that's tolerance. As we see on these boards alone, the number of women who accept it is still few.
What I decided to do. And how I have to live.
I felt that this was no fault of my own. No one chooses to become a crossdresser; it's a desire that occurs within us, and we are left with the decision as to whether to do it, or be faced with the constant frustration from not doing it. And it is this, which poses the dilemma. If we are up front about being a crossdresser with every woman we meet, odds are that we will have to date over a hundred women before we come across even one that might accept us. Then add in all the other compatibility potential issues, and the odds are slim indeed that any of us will find a mate. After all, how many people can we date? I don't know about any of you, but in my lifetime, I certainly don't have a 100% batting average.
So I studied further. And learned how to spot women that are interested in me already. Yes, there are all those pick up artist books, but they rely on sheer numbers to even get phone numbers. There had to be a better way. So I learned it. And lo and behold, it works. But it still relies upon me approaching a woman, asking her out, and then carefully asking questions in order to see how she feels about men who, well, for the simplist way to put it, are gender benders. The first barrier is to see how they feel about homosexuality. Then transsexuals. I ask if they know anyone in either group, and see if she gets along with them, supports them. Not overtly, but when I find something in the news, I mention it and see what kind of response I get. Assuming positive, during our dates, I will bring up a movie or a show involving some type of crossdressing male. Wong fu seems to be an acceptable show; and Patrick Swayze is pretty much hot to almost every woman. The question I will pose sometime during the movie, will be how she feels about him. Now, I usually establish her attraction to him with another movie first; Ghost, Roadhouse, Dirty Dancing, take your pic. Then it becomes the issue of whether if he's seen in woman's attire is a deal breaker. If not, the I suppose full steam ahead, and eventually discuss crossdressing, gender bending, etc., and see where it goes. I have yet to find a woman who would accept a crossdresser for a mate. I have found several that would be OK with a son who was a crossdresser, but none that would be attracted to a guy who does it.
After I got divorced, I placed an ad on America Online's personals section. Seems I was pretty interesting to women, I got lots of hits. curiosity got the best of me, and I place a second ad (under another screen name), adding that I crossdressed; not all the time, but that it was something that I occasionally needed to do. Other than prostitutes, dominatrix's, and other ladies for hire, I got zero responses. Over the years, I also place ads on Plenty of fish, again, almost zero responses. The women who responded to me, were so desperate for a date that they would say yes to anything, but eventually admitted that they really didn't find it attractive, and wanted to know if I would stop.
So, basically zero. Out of what, 26 million people on AOL, and who knows how many on POF?
The odds are terrible. So it leaves us with little choice. If we want to date, we're going to have to be happy with short term relationships, essentially until we find out if the lady can put up with a crossdresser as a mate. And then, when we find out the worst, figure out a way to let her down without outing ourselves (unless of course you're just fine with being out).
It's a hard life to live that way, but at least we can date. As the old saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.
and that's where I currently stand. It seems that crossdressing is a deal breaker for almost all woman.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Been single for about 5 years I think i have got to the point where i just want to stay single .I just do not want to go through a third time telling some one only to have it fail in the end
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
Thank you for your very informative and interesting answer sometimes miss.Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
I think a lot of gurls who have to deal with restrictive circumstances daydream about living free and unecumbered, but the reality is if you do find yourself single and rid of constraints, and you do decide to ramp up the femme stuff, it is easy to succumb to isolation and loneliness due to social stigma, lack of interested partners, etc. In other words, it is nearly impossible to escape barriers altogether. That might not be a problem if you're content with solitude, but most of us need more than that and eventually something has to give. Just saying, the dream of a 24/7 femme life isn't all that realistic given the realities of life and some sort of balance has to be found. I'm single and live alone and I dress to some degree almost daily here at home, but for me there is an element of frustration involved because the desire to have personal relationships as a femme person is a constant itch that never gets scratched, so to speak. I tried for years to cultivate friendships at the clubs that would extend into everyday life but they just never materialized. Now I have to be self-aware about lapsing into a routine where I'd rather just keep to myself where I can be femme rather than get out and interact as a guy. "A guy" is not really who I am but a certain amount of guy time in necessary to avoid becoming a total recluse. I guess what I'm saying is there is no magic wand that makes crossdressing simple or easy.
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