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Thread: Age and Dressing...

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Lacy PJs's Avatar
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    Age and Dressing...

    As I read through the various posts here, I see that from time to time, people will drop their age. And... that age usually seems to be on the "upper side" of what one might consider half way through their life. It's dangerous, but I got to thinking and wondering why this is.

    I'm at the age where I'll soon be getting some money from Uncle Sam for all of my hard years of time spent in the workforce and my occasional dressing seems to be less and less of a big deal to me. I wonder if that's because as I've aged, I've become more comfortable with it and accepting of my unusual habit OR if it's because the older I get, the less I really care about others' opinions. One thing is for sure... since I'm retired, I no longer worry about what such a revelation might do to my career; I'm sure that's a factor as well.

    So to the rest of you... have you become more open with your dressing through the years and why do you think that is? AND... are younger people concerned about others, not ready to accept themselves yet or why is it that part of the dressing population seems to be under-represented here?

    Lacy PJs

  2. #2
    Junior Member Bella.CD's Avatar
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    I have wondered similar wonderings. I am 37 myself and only have two on my friends list that I know of that are younger than me. I have read in another posting about the Millenial generation being more accepting, maybe more acceptance leads to less of a need to come here. That is sad because I seem to be making like minded, not only just accepting friends quickly on here. The Millens are missing out.

  3. #3
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    Interesting questions. I started dressing in the late 1960s, yes it was that long ago and yes I sort of fit into the (lower) cohort that you describe. When I was young, the last thing I wanted was to be discovered, because I had a fear that this thing that I enjoyed so much would be taken away from me. Also, as you'll know society was very different back then, far less accepting of difference. However, there have been changes over the years. I am now at the point in life where I do care less about what people think of CDing (and tolerance is increasing) and the damage that any revelation can bring in my case would be much less and shorter lasting, than earlier in life. I can appreciate that there will be younger girls out there, who, if they were outed could suffer life changing consequences to their careers and the like. The other thing that has happened over the years is that TG issues have become more mainstream. We're not at the point of total acceptance yet, or anywhere near to that, but TG issues feature on the news programmes and in the newspapers. CDing is talked about these days. So, that too gives me less cause to care, but also a willingness to be (slightly at first) more open about all of this, and to hopefully help push open the door for those following on behind.

  4. #4
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    In the last 10 years, I’ve definitely been more open and accepting. For me, over the years, it’s been a stair step progression. When I reached the stage of dressing completely, establishing my wardrobe, makeup, etc. With my wife’s acceptance and support, I think I’m about as good as it gets. She thinks I’m passable which, deep down, I believe, has always been my goal. My sense is there are a lot more of us, at all ages, than statistics indicate. I don’t think the younger cders have any, or few, doubts....they do what they want, depending on how they feel, i.e. the m-f transgenders. It seems to me, CDing would be a large part of their agenda. As I get older, my attitude of “who cares?” Is taking over. You only go around once.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    I'm firmly in the past midlife category and I too have noticed that I am less concerned about my dressing than I was when younger. I certainly am less worried about what others think. At this point the only reason I'm not out to family and friends is because I don't want to put my wife through that trouble. It was hard enough on her when she found out about my dressing so she doesn't need the added stress of me letting everyone else know.
    Last edited by Elizabeth G; 11-06-2017 at 08:21 AM.

  6. #6
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I think retirement has liberated us to be who we really are. I find it far less trouble to be out and about. As we are older women. But some have old me I look in my forties. But I love to be out and about.
    Part Time Girl

  7. #7
    Member Zoeytgtx's Avatar
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    I think a lot of things are in play here. Kids may be out of the house and a lesser need to be closeted. As we get older we probably have more disposable income to build a decent wardrobe. As we age the male and female facial features start to get closer to one another, so,we may actually blend a bit better in public. And lastly, as we age less of the public pays attention to middle aged or older women who are out there. I'm semi-retired now, but GG's tell me I can pass for mid forties

  8. #8
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    I agree with pretty much all the reasons above. I will add that it took me until middle life to accept that I am a CD even when the desire to dress diminishes for long periods of time. There were times in my 20s and 30s when I had a heavy desire to dress and then for no reason whatsoever I had periods where I had no desire to dress. Back then, when the desire stopped, I thought the crossdressing chapter of my life was over. It took me to my 40s (and the internet) to understand it is never over, at least for me.
    Last edited by Taylor186; 10-28-2017 at 10:10 AM. Reason: clarity

  9. #9
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    I'm in the Medicare crowd now and have been retired for quite a few years. My career was in law enforcement where I had a civilian professional/technical support position. It wasn't a situation that would have been improved by revealing I was crossdressing on a regular basis. When that ended I felt a lot of emotional relief over my dressing and did it much more often, particularly since my wife was approving. Sense then there has been a large swing in public awareness and small improvement in acceptance of the Trans+ community, despite the recent turn on the part of the current administration. I've had the time and resources to do some counseling, go to support group meetings and come out to my adult children. So yes, I dress more often and fear less. The only thing that keeps me from dressing much more is respecting the wishes of my son who is living with me along with his children. His girls had been in a troubled home before he got them about a year ago and having to deal with a Trans Grandparent might just confound their world. There is maybe another 6 months or so and he will be back on his own and so will I at that point. I have a lot less to lose and much less to fear, so I'm ready to dress more.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  10. #10
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    We do seem to attract an older crowd on this site, but I've seen folks post from every decade of life from 20's forward. Older folks do seem to post more. I certainly have become more open over time, but that sort of mirrors the culture -- if I came out in the 1950's it probably wouldn't have gone well. These days there are cases of kids getting support from the single-digit ages onward, so time will tell how that changes things.

    My experience with younger people is they seem uniformly more accepting on the whole but life experience tells me it's going to vary by individual.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I did not start dressing until in my 60's. All my extended family knows and everyone is younger than I am. I dress less than I used to do, but due to injuries. I do not go out as often. But, I dress at home more so I would call it a toss up

  12. #12
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Yes I do think the older I got I did not care much how people perceived me and then again I also decided to begin to transition so I may not be a good guage on this topic

  13. #13
    Member Cherylgyno's Avatar
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    Neither more open or closeted. Those whose opinion that I value have always known.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member AngieStone's Avatar
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    Yes getting older and feeling more comfortable about who I am. I am still working and until the day I retire there will always be some concerns.

  15. #15
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    I'm retired and have had more time to do many things that I didn't have time for 6 months ago. I have more time to dress as I please, if I don't need to go anywhere, then I'm more prone to dress up for the day. It is nice to get dressed for the day, none of this couple of hours bull crap. I am on this site daily and while I was working, it was maybe twice a week. I also have time to post thoughts like I am doing now.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  16. #16
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    I agree there seems to be an influx of the seniors on here. I'm not one yet ( I'm 68 soon to be 69 ) I just don't think I'm old though yet. In good health and retired somewhat except for my hobbies that eat up a lot of retirement time. I've been dressing off and on since I was a small young lad. I've always loved the feel of the smooth clothes and being older I really love a a smooth material. I can't come out though as I have ten grandkids I don't want them to know that the grandpa think of s the coolest is a CD. I also promised my wife I wouldn't around my kids. I really just do my thing and could care less who knows but living in a small west Texas town I just don't see any value of dressing in public. I've thought it would be exciting to go out with other dressers in a larger safer town. I've come to accept that might never happen.
    I also think your 100% correct by the time the young generation gets our age there may not be a reason for this site as every one month gut already be accepted and dressing might be just an ordinary occurance.

  17. #17
    Gold Member
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    Now that I have retired, I have more time to dress. There where many years,
    like from my 30's to mid 40's, that I hardly dressed at all.
    Now I under dress every day, and when home alone, I dress all the way.
    I guess that being 70, I can do what I want to do.
    rader

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Being a senior sure give more freedom to CD, when raising a family, did not have much time for it. And in the 60s, it was not accepted as now. I find that in general, society is more tolerant and open to any lifestyle . Everyone choose its way and are more individualist in their behavior.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taylor186 View Post
    I agree with pretty much all the reasons above. I will add that it took me until middle life to accept that I am a CD even if the desire to dress diminishes for long periods of time. There were times in my 20s and 30s when I had a heavy desire to dress and then for no reason whatsoever I had no desire to dress. Back then, when the desire stopped, I thought the crossdressing chapter of my life was over. It took me to my 40s (and the internet) to understand it is never over, at least for me.
    Im sort of the same way, though I havent quite touched the 40's yet. Im actually experiencing some down time from dressing right now. I really just havent had the drive or desire to dress up at all. I've been thinking about it a little more since I joined here, but still really havent "wanted" to do it.

  20. #20
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I wonder how much of it is a generational issue. The kids today are growing up with less of the kind of stigma the older crowd faces, so perhaps they just don’t feel the NEED to come to a site like this. Maybe they get enough love and support from their friends and family so anonymous support just isn’t as much of a thing. It could also be specific to the concept of an Internet forum itself. These kids have Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat and Reddit now. I don’t even know if the younger crowd knows what an Internet forum is.

  21. #21
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I think there are a few factors mentioned here that influences the age band. It's true that at a certain point in life (near retirement or later) there is no more pressure of worrying about our career or professional reputation. Also our kids are grown and we have more freedom and the time to spend doing what we do.
    On the other hand we have the young members who are out in a whole different generation which seems to be more open to individual expression. But they may not be on this board because they don't need the support from us since they find support from different venues.
    I still think it is the middle ages that have the hardest time. They still have to worry about their careers, their families, children etc. They may come on here but some only as guests, fearing that they may be outed.

  22. #22
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    Hi Lacy , My third 25th is 5weeks away, I like to think that I am 3/4 of the way there in my journey.

    I dress every morning for 3 to4 hours and a couple hours a couple Evening a week,
    Dressing is so much a part of my life I like to feel that I have the best of both worlds.

    We have a very workable DA/DT I stay with in my boundaries and life is fantastic .>Orchid......
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  23. #23
    Senior Member Ally 2112's Avatar
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    I have been doing this for almost 40 years and still not 55
    I have a hubcap diamond star halo

  24. #24
    Junior Member AlissaMurray's Avatar
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    I am 52 and my kids are long since out of the house. I dress as I please at home with the blessing of my wife. I also currently have 3 pairs of women's jeans currently in rotation that I wear to work, I also wear silky women's t-shirts most days under my work shirt and they are quite visible. No one has ever said a word. I rehearsed this come back for the question (aren't those women's clothes? ANSWER actually they are my clothes thank you.) But no one has ever said a word. Just food for thought... I think we build things up worse in our heads than what the reality ends up being.

  25. #25
    Junior Member
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    I am 62 and as I have aged, the urge to dress has grown stronger. Right now it's in my thoughts most of the time
    and the main subject of my dreams most nights. Unfortunately this happens at a time when I have very little
    opportunity to dress due to family circumstances leaving me so little time and it's getting desperate, I long for the
    time with the house to myself so Tracy can come out.

    Hugs

    Tracy

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