Anger :(

[xNicolex]

So I haven't posted in a while. I've been really busy, but I feel I need to address this. The word transgender, what does it mean to you? Do you identify with it? LGBT or LGBTQ? intersex, genderfluid, non-binary? Where do I fit in. Funny... I've asked myself that question my whole life, and even with all the labels we have today I still can't find the right fit. Why? LGBT is supposed to encompass us ''crossdressers'' right? Wrong! and this is why I'm angry. I've spent countless hours watching T.V documentaries and social experiments about transgender people. These shows share a common problem, they state that if your not transgender then your ''JUST A CROSSDRESSER'' I find this very upsetting ''Oh HE'S just a crossdresser HE hasn't had to spend years coming to terms with who HE really is, so no big deal or anything'' I am a crossdresser but I see myself just as much of a woman as any. I only spent 10 years of my life hiding from myself so yeah no biggy! This alienates us, I feel I have no place I try to just be myself and forget about the labels. But that's not enough because people don't forget as easy. Now you could argue that ''Oh but you don't identify as a female so your not trans'' well that's not good enough, who's to say who qualifies for what title, or if anyone even wants a title or label? because I don't. I just want people to respect me as I am. The information available for the trans community today is great, but the spectrum's of gender that they describe can be convoluted. I'm not trying to start an argument here, I'm just venting my frustration. I spent so long alone dealing with my trans issues and felt happy to find others like me through groups online, only to be told indirectly I'm not enough of a woman to qualify for your stupid labeling system. All in all I'm still quite alone Outside the lines of labels and theory's, gender and womanhood. I've never even met anyone like me trans,crossdresser whatever. I've reached out to some over social media groups but none wanted any kind of actual friendship, no matter how long we exchanged messages. Nobody wants to get to know me as a person, I'm always just some sexual curiosity or ''one of those ones'' I'm sorry I just feel so broken right now