Baffled by female attention

[fashionisto]

I've been crossdressing in public on a number of occasions now, and I've been baffled by the positive female attention I've been getting. And guess what, I just found out that other CD/TG think that's normal. So, I thought I share this with you, for everyone who thinks that finding a woman who likes crossdressers is impossible.

My experience is that many women (of all ages) go out of their way to compliment me on how I look, and I've had a fair share of women hitting on me. I swear, this has never happened to me before in guy mode! It seems to be so contradictory to all the stories I hear, and with how ashamed I felt before I started doing it. Recently I've had the privilege to swap stories with some transgenders and nonbinaries, and one of them confirmed this. At the beginning of her (mtf) transition, she said a lot of apparently hetero women wanted to know her / were hitting on her / etc. She said a trans friend had experienced the same. She did not find it remarkable, in fact she was pretty dismissive about it (being married with kids). So... to conclude... if a guy wants to meet women, the best thing he can do is wear a dress! I was like, wtf, why has no-one told me this before?!

This is such a mind-boggling discrepancy with both the stories on the forum and the general shame and shyness of men about wearing women's clothes. Could it be Dutch culture is so different? I hope to make more sense of it.

[bridget thronton]

I notice women seem to be friendlier to each other than with men they do not know - their attention might be a sign of acceptance for you

[Nikki A.]

I agree that some women are much friendlier when you're dressed and more complementary. However I don't think it is easier to get into a long term relationship with most of them.

[Minnietheminx]

LOL that did make me giggle as i am one of those GGs that does love it as you will have seen. I think there are probably a hell of a lot more of us out there too but its society that makes it so that you tend to hide the fact pretty much like some dressers hide away their dressing You worry about what people may think or say as its not usually the norm....GGs are meant to go for hunky and muscles and all that yakkkkk!! lol....nahhh dresses all the way for me xxx

[Majella St Gerard]

I agree with Nikki, I have met many women when out and about while dressed up and have been showered with complements, asked personal questions, felt up, kissed but nothing more serious than that. They like the novelty. Fooling around with a CD is ok but not a relationship, they can't bring you home to meet the family but they are willing to play for a bit. Just last Sunday night while at karaoke a very pretty and slightly drunk young lady decided to become my new BFF for the night. She sang with me, danced with me, kissed me on the dance floor, did some kissing on her neck from behind in the ladies room, you know, fun stuff. But no number exchanges. End of night, bye bye. Don't get me wrong it was fun but I would like more.

[Stephanie47]

A friend has a grandson who came out as transgender. S/he is suffering from total confusion. S/he has no figured out whether he is gay and must dress as a woman or he is transgender. When he came out as a junior in high school he lost all his male friends. He was run out of the high school band. The only friends he was able to keep were girls. Frankly, they seem to view him as some sort of novelty. After a while those girls got tired of him and drifted away with only one exception. I can understand there are many women who are not afraid of men who wear dresses, and, will exchange pleasantries. There are many more women who will just shake their heads and avoid a cross dresser. The test is whether the attention of these women will progress to more than a passing moment. Yes, there are some, but, I think it is on par with looking for a needle in a hay stack.

[fashionisto]

Hi all, thanks for sharing your thoughts, keep em coming! In my case some women definitely want more than just fool around for a night, and want to keep in touch. I can't tell you in every case what exactly each woman thinks, but I do have accepting GGs in my life who love me dressing up and like to show me off dressed up sometimes!

@Majella in the incident you described, are you sure that she doesn't want to keep in touch because she thinks CDs are not serious relationship material? Or have you had similar experiences?

[Majella St Gerard]

Hi all, thanks for sharing your thoughts, keep em coming! In my case some women definitely want more than just fool around for a night, and want to keep in touch. I can't tell you in every case what exactly each woman thinks, but I do have accepting GGs in my life who love me dressing up and like to show me off dressed up sometimes!

@Majella in the incident you described, are you sure that she doesn't want to keep in touch because she thinks CDs are not serious relationship material? Or have you had similar experiences?

This chick was out for fun, as was I. I had a great time, although she wore me out on the dance floor. Her entourage included an obviously gay man and an obviously gay female, not too sure what her preference was. When I was introduced to her, as I thought she was very attractive, I told her that I liked girls and she said so do I. So I'm not so sure of her motivation, I don't care, I had fun having her feel me up and feeling her up. But truly I would prefer a relationship.

[Minnietheminx]

I agree with Nikki, I have met many women when out and about while dressed up and have been showered with complements, asked personal questions, felt up, kissed but nothing more serious than that. They like the novelty. Fooling around with a CD is ok but not a relationship, they can't bring you home to meet the family but they are willing to play for a bit. Just last Sunday night while at karaoke a very pretty and slightly drunk young lady decided to become my new BFF for the night. She sang with me, danced with me, kissed me on the dance floor, did some kissing on her neck from behind in the ladies room, you know, fun stuff. But no number exchanges. End of night, bye bye. Don't get me wrong it was fun but I would like more.

Its like ive said before i think its not that they dont want you or your dressing side as they probably love both but its society. Unfortunately alot of people shake you off as friends when you say i love a guy that dresses and ive had some say you are not normal...well what is normal? define it please? Ive got to the point where i really dont care anymore . Ive lost a fair few in the past few months since i have been honest about it. I`m fortunate that my sister and her hubby accept that i am the way i am but they have a friend that dresses so probably understand more because of that. My mum accepts it as she had friends when she was younger back in the 50s that dressed. My son was brought up with dressers in my life so he is totally accepting so i am lucky in that respect but alot of GGs arent so and even if they adore you theres always going to be the how do i tell my family or friends.
I remember when david beckham wore a skirt and nail polish here and girls were like oooooo so what.....oh it was ok just because he was famous!!! bit like the 80s here when the new romantics were around in the charts most guys were donning makeup and frilly shirts etc. nobody batted an eyelid. xxxx

[Dana44]

Indeed women pay attention to us. I think it is acceptance and not hitting on you as a girl. They are interested in us and are accepting us to womanhood.

[Alice Torn]

I have known a very few women who seemed ok with it, AS LONG AS IT WAS NOT HER MAN!

[Jean 103]

Yes this has happened to me a number of times, but it what you are describing at least with me are two different things.
First , I have had GGs come up to me and tell me how beautiful I am, that I'm brave, that they completely support me. If I talk to them I usually find that they know someone that is in the LGBT community. My best friend has witnessed this a few times. The last time I could see her rolling her eyes. I knew she was thinking yea Jean is worderfull or something. I gave her a look like don't even. When the lady was finished she said "Yes and it only took her two hours" .
Second , I have had woman hit on me in both modes. When I'm Jean it is not because of how I'm dressed , in all cases they have been friends, it is because of me, the person I am inside.

[docrobbysherry]

I also have gotten lots of attention from women. Come over to dance with me on the floor. Positive comments while passing by. Chatting up in bars. Some r really just curious. Even my new GG friend, who likes Sherry and wants to do shoots with her. Hasn't expressed any romantic interest.

But, I haven't had any GG's hit on me or show any romantic interest at all. Only guys have hit on me. And, it's obvious they aren't in love. Just in heat! I wonder if that isn't the motivation of some of your GG "friends", Fashionista?

[Lydianne]

I can see content regardless of delivery. I don't think I have a vested interest either way, but some might disagree, and that's totally fine. I don't think either side makes a difference to me, but one can never know for sure until one is in each situation. I definitely don't hold any hopes. I am not married. I never made the attempt to search for a wife. That might disqualify everything I have written.

That being said . . .

I find it easier to reconcile the content of Lexi's post with the proportions of non-acceptance, DADT and supportiveness that I have seen on this board than the content of the OP if we're talking about anything that develops beyond friendship.

I cheer from the sidelines when I read about a supportive wife in an intro thread. In my opinion, we should appreciate this, but I don't think that situation should be promoted to the point where it might be misinterpreted as the general rule for relationships. I think the OP over-promotes.

We (I) can't gloss over the number of DADT reports.

Hearing about acceptance could encourage another to search for an accepting partner. It's cuts in both directions, though, because that path could be a very long one, and some of the attempts that don't succeed could involve the other person telling the reason for breaking it off to everyone they know.

Again, I'm not married, never made the attempt, etc.

Just for the record, I have a lot of sympathy for those whose TG awakening happened after marriage. There is no way that could have been avoided.

- Lydianne.

[lingerieLiz]

First, we must accept that attraction has many threads to it. I have a lot of experience with girls/women over the years. Quite a few of them knew I wore the same clothes they did. When young dressed passing and shopping girls were fascinated and a few became friends. I even dated a few of them in guy mode. But, none of the relationships went far. I have women friends today that know, but they aren't looking for romance.

[biancabellelover]

I think you're all telling the truth (as you see it). The OP is from the Netherlands, and I'm guessing that most of the responders are from the U.S. I'm an Aussie.

U.S. society, morals, and mores are VASTLY different to that of Continental Europe. It could well be that in Holland women are far more accepting of CD'ers as potential life partners than in the U.S. Europeans have very different attitudes on sex, religion, alcohol, drugs, etc, than does the United States.

Just my 2c.

BBL.

[Jenny22]

Fashionisto, your command of the English language is amazing! Are you an ex-pat from the UK or USA? I love your outlook on life as a CDer and the positive aspects you've experienced, but I think most GGs looking for an SO or wedded soul mate would take the NIMBY approach to a CDer.

[Tracii G]

I have found several women that were interested and wanted a relationship.
Being gay kind of rules that option out for me.Finding a guy that would be into it is darn near impossible.
Some women found me dressed kind of disgusting so the old " its OK if you do it I want no part of it" reaction and some would fall in the "not in my back yard" group.

[Anna Stouf]

I have been married and divorced FOUR times. I’ve been alone for eight years. I’ve been on the dating sites and have met A LOT of women.

I have never met a woman who would accept cross dressing for even one second. As soon as they find out, they are GONE.

Of course I’ll admit: I am 73 years old, so the age group of women I’m seeing might have something to do with it.

[deebra]

Fashion I like your look, you are thin like a woman, the stelleto boots and tight girl clothes make you look feminely attractive, much more so than loose guy clothes. I too like this look, this morning I went to the mall; wore B cup bra, bikini panties under black girl jeans with black 3" heel booties and yellow T. Really felt good dressing and presenting female, the way I like. Wish it would catch on, unisex dressing for both sexes.

[Rayleen]

Maybe, just maybe, so's are afraid we would look better than them dressed up.

For a woman, she is proud to look her best and I tell mine so !

[terza]

i can easily believe that there are more progressive social norms, and the states is way behind, and falling further w/ emboldened zealots. progress are the responsibility of all who would benefit --us.

"anti-alpha" --intriguing term, i wonder how many cross-dressers are alpha in their male role. i'm not equating alpha to machismo, which is just another word for neanderthal bully.

[Majella St Gerard]

Lexi, why such a negative attitude?

[Lydianne]

Like almost everyone else has said, although I have heard about wonderful exceptions, before I start believing female acceptance of CDing as the rule, I would need it explained to me why I read of so much DADT.

I would always expect to read of some DADT and total non-acceptance because of variation, but not in the proportions that I see here. Alternatively, I would also accept a demonstration to me of a sampling issue within the membership.

Full disclosure: I am not married. I read the tea leaves at around age 16. I now hear about it causing friction within marriages, and . . . .

- Lydianne.

[Rayleen]

I'm Baffled too but in a different way, all my life women are attracted to me...I have 95 % of my friends are girls and women.

I always loved being close to women everywhere , and with men, very distant both way. I tough My feminine side has a lot to do with it.

Sometimes I feel Im a lesbian attracted to these women, sometime I wish I was a LB. I find that very puzzling , but you know what, I love it and it makes me a happy .