Baffled by female attention

[fashionisto]

I've been crossdressing in public on a number of occasions now, and I've been baffled by the positive female attention I've been getting. And guess what, I just found out that other CD/TG think that's normal. So, I thought I share this with you, for everyone who thinks that finding a woman who likes crossdressers is impossible.

My experience is that many women (of all ages) go out of their way to compliment me on how I look, and I've had a fair share of women hitting on me. I swear, this has never happened to me before in guy mode! It seems to be so contradictory to all the stories I hear, and with how ashamed I felt before I started doing it. Recently I've had the privilege to swap stories with some transgenders and nonbinaries, and one of them confirmed this. At the beginning of her (mtf) transition, she said a lot of apparently hetero women wanted to know her / were hitting on her / etc. She said a trans friend had experienced the same. She did not find it remarkable, in fact she was pretty dismissive about it (being married with kids). So... to conclude... if a guy wants to meet women, the best thing he can do is wear a dress! I was like, wtf, why has no-one told me this before?!

This is such a mind-boggling discrepancy with both the stories on the forum and the general shame and shyness of men about wearing women's clothes. Could it be Dutch culture is so different? I hope to make more sense of it.

[bridget thronton]

I notice women seem to be friendlier to each other than with men they do not know - their attention might be a sign of acceptance for you

[Minnietheminx]

LOL that did make me giggle as i am one of those GGs that does love it as you will have seen. I think there are probably a hell of a lot more of us out there too but its society that makes it so that you tend to hide the fact pretty much like some dressers hide away their dressing You worry about what people may think or say as its not usually the norm....GGs are meant to go for hunky and muscles and all that yakkkkk!! lol....nahhh dresses all the way for me xxx

[Nikki A.]

I agree that some women are much friendlier when you're dressed and more complementary. However I don't think it is easier to get into a long term relationship with most of them.

[Majella St Gerard]

I agree with Nikki, I have met many women when out and about while dressed up and have been showered with complements, asked personal questions, felt up, kissed but nothing more serious than that. They like the novelty. Fooling around with a CD is ok but not a relationship, they can't bring you home to meet the family but they are willing to play for a bit. Just last Sunday night while at karaoke a very pretty and slightly drunk young lady decided to become my new BFF for the night. She sang with me, danced with me, kissed me on the dance floor, did some kissing on her neck from behind in the ladies room, you know, fun stuff. But no number exchanges. End of night, bye bye. Don't get me wrong it was fun but I would like more.

[Stephanie47]

A friend has a grandson who came out as transgender. S/he is suffering from total confusion. S/he has no figured out whether he is gay and must dress as a woman or he is transgender. When he came out as a junior in high school he lost all his male friends. He was run out of the high school band. The only friends he was able to keep were girls. Frankly, they seem to view him as some sort of novelty. After a while those girls got tired of him and drifted away with only one exception. I can understand there are many women who are not afraid of men who wear dresses, and, will exchange pleasantries. There are many more women who will just shake their heads and avoid a cross dresser. The test is whether the attention of these women will progress to more than a passing moment. Yes, there are some, but, I think it is on par with looking for a needle in a hay stack.

[fashionisto]

Hi all, thanks for sharing your thoughts, keep em coming! In my case some women definitely want more than just fool around for a night, and want to keep in touch. I can't tell you in every case what exactly each woman thinks, but I do have accepting GGs in my life who love me dressing up and like to show me off dressed up sometimes!

@Majella in the incident you described, are you sure that she doesn't want to keep in touch because she thinks CDs are not serious relationship material? Or have you had similar experiences?

[Dana44]

Indeed women pay attention to us. I think it is acceptance and not hitting on you as a girl. They are interested in us and are accepting us to womanhood.

[Minnietheminx]

I agree with Nikki, I have met many women when out and about while dressed up and have been showered with complements, asked personal questions, felt up, kissed but nothing more serious than that. They like the novelty. Fooling around with a CD is ok but not a relationship, they can't bring you home to meet the family but they are willing to play for a bit. Just last Sunday night while at karaoke a very pretty and slightly drunk young lady decided to become my new BFF for the night. She sang with me, danced with me, kissed me on the dance floor, did some kissing on her neck from behind in the ladies room, you know, fun stuff. But no number exchanges. End of night, bye bye. Don't get me wrong it was fun but I would like more.

Its like ive said before i think its not that they dont want you or your dressing side as they probably love both but its society. Unfortunately alot of people shake you off as friends when you say i love a guy that dresses and ive had some say you are not normal...well what is normal? define it please? Ive got to the point where i really dont care anymore . Ive lost a fair few in the past few months since i have been honest about it. I`m fortunate that my sister and her hubby accept that i am the way i am but they have a friend that dresses so probably understand more because of that. My mum accepts it as she had friends when she was younger back in the 50s that dressed. My son was brought up with dressers in my life so he is totally accepting so i am lucky in that respect but alot of GGs arent so and even if they adore you theres always going to be the how do i tell my family or friends.
I remember when david beckham wore a skirt and nail polish here and girls were like oooooo so what.....oh it was ok just because he was famous!!! bit like the 80s here when the new romantics were around in the charts most guys were donning makeup and frilly shirts etc. nobody batted an eyelid. xxxx

[Alice Torn]

I have known a very few women who seemed ok with it, AS LONG AS IT WAS NOT HER MAN!

[Jean 103]

Yes this has happened to me a number of times, but it what you are describing at least with me are two different things.
First , I have had GGs come up to me and tell me how beautiful I am, that I'm brave, that they completely support me. If I talk to them I usually find that they know someone that is in the LGBT community. My best friend has witnessed this a few times. The last time I could see her rolling her eyes. I knew she was thinking yea Jean is worderfull or something. I gave her a look like don't even. When the lady was finished she said "Yes and it only took her two hours" .
Second , I have had woman hit on me in both modes. When I'm Jean it is not because of how I'm dressed , in all cases they have been friends, it is because of me, the person I am inside.

[Jenny22]

Fashionisto, your command of the English language is amazing! Are you an ex-pat from the UK or USA? I love your outlook on life as a CDer and the positive aspects you've experienced, but I think most GGs looking for an SO or wedded soul mate would take the NIMBY approach to a CDer.

[docrobbysherry]

I also have gotten lots of attention from women. Come over to dance with me on the floor. Positive comments while passing by. Chatting up in bars. Some r really just curious. Even my new GG friend, who likes Sherry and wants to do shoots with her. Hasn't expressed any romantic interest.

But, I haven't had any GG's hit on me or show any romantic interest at all. Only guys have hit on me. And, it's obvious they aren't in love. Just in heat! I wonder if that isn't the motivation of some of your GG "friends", Fashionista?

[Tracii G]

I have found several women that were interested and wanted a relationship.
Being gay kind of rules that option out for me.Finding a guy that would be into it is darn near impossible.
Some women found me dressed kind of disgusting so the old " its OK if you do it I want no part of it" reaction and some would fall in the "not in my back yard" group.

[Anna Stouf]

I have been married and divorced FOUR times. I’ve been alone for eight years. I’ve been on the dating sites and have met A LOT of women.

I have never met a woman who would accept cross dressing for even one second. As soon as they find out, they are GONE.

Of course I’ll admit: I am 73 years old, so the age group of women I’m seeing might have something to do with it.

[deebra]

Fashion I like your look, you are thin like a woman, the stelleto boots and tight girl clothes make you look feminely attractive, much more so than loose guy clothes. I too like this look, this morning I went to the mall; wore B cup bra, bikini panties under black girl jeans with black 3" heel booties and yellow T. Really felt good dressing and presenting female, the way I like. Wish it would catch on, unisex dressing for both sexes.

[Lydianne]

Like almost everyone else has said, although I have heard about wonderful exceptions, before I start believing female acceptance of CDing as the rule, I would need it explained to me why I read of so much DADT.

I would always expect to read of some DADT and total non-acceptance because of variation, but not in the proportions that I see here. Alternatively, I would also accept a demonstration to me of a sampling issue within the membership.

Full disclosure: I am not married. I read the tea leaves at around age 16. I now hear about it causing friction within marriages, and . . . .

- Lydianne.

[Rayleen]

I'm Baffled too but in a different way, all my life women are attracted to me...I have 95 % of my friends are girls and women.

I always loved being close to women everywhere , and with men, very distant both way. I tough My feminine side has a lot to do with it.

Sometimes I feel Im a lesbian attracted to these women, sometime I wish I was a LB. I find that very puzzling , but you know what, I love it and it makes me a happy .

[Vickie_CDTV]

Sure it isn't curiosity and a desire to be friendly, as opposed to being interested in a romantic relationship? As Alice said, there is a world of difference between being friendly, being friends... and having a romantic relationship. NIMBY pretty much says it all when it comes to a dressing man who wants a romantic relationship with a GG.

[Aunt Kelly]

Going with Magella and Dana on this one. The friendliness and acceptance is most likely not an indicator of romantic interest. For many, we are a novelty, accepted as honorary peers, so to speak. Nothing wrong with that, and for some those women, it maybe more genuine sisterhood, as Dana suggests. If I were single, I'd have to figure out though, would indicating any romantic interest be instantly perceived as "weird"? The social decorum between women, TG or not, is different. Suddenly becoming a guy on the make, dress or no, changes that in a big way, probably irreversibly.
Interesting thread, ladies.

Hugs,


Kelly

[suzanne]

For those who pass as a woman, it's easy to understand how women respond positively. You're just one of the girls, a sister who has a similar life and story. They assume there's common ground for a conversation at the very least.

For those who don't pass, like me, it's a bit trickier to figure out. I can only guess. But the SAs where I shop most talk to me like I'm one of their favorite girlfriends. I think it starts with their seeing my dress and realizing "This is not a regular man. No toxic masculinity here." And the relaxing begins. In one dress shop, I mentioned getting my legs waxed and the conversation swung around to her experience with getting a Brazilian waxing. That's info that is never shared with normal men.

That still doesn't address the question "Why?". I think women have more flexible minds where gender is concerned and are willing to give benefit of the doubt to someone who turns away from the toxic male model, even if it's not perfect. My best guess.

[Tracii G]

Don't confuse attention with attraction.

[Maria 60]

I find that women prefer different type of men, some women like that bad boy American mussel type, and like a few of my friends who were with men who were alittle aggressive they prefer men with a stronger feminine side.
To me women are more out spoken and if they have something in common with you they are usally not afraid to speak out.
But that's just my opinion.

[alwayshave]

My belief is that women accept CDs because of the misconception that CDs are gay and therefore not a threat.

[deebra]

So many men out there are overweight, beer bellies, unshaven and dress sloppy, a lot of women too. Baffles me when a slim CD comes along dressed nicely like Fashionisto and myself in slacks or dress why wouldn't this be more attractive to women than the afore mentioned? When the clothes come off they do have what it takes.