I'm 67 and have been dealing with gender issues for most of my life. I know that I'm more than a crossdresser and I need help.
Does anyone have any actual experience with a gender therapist in the SE Michigan area that they could recommend?
I'm 67 and have been dealing with gender issues for most of my life. I know that I'm more than a crossdresser and I need help.
Does anyone have any actual experience with a gender therapist in the SE Michigan area that they could recommend?
Last edited by Katie Ellen; 11-09-2017 at 11:31 AM.
Katie
I've already found one and have my first appointment in a couple of weeks. Thanks anyway.
Katie
For others watching this thread for tips. I have a great relationship with a therapist that I went to the city for the first visit and since has let me do video call appointments. It’s a huge help if you’re not near many trans specialized drs
I'm driving a couple hours each way to mine, but she does do video conferencing as well. Been thinking about it to get 4 hours back, but I'm wondering if I would still connect with her and her me without the in-person energy and non verbals. Thoughts?
During my questioning phase, I finally decided to see a therapist to help me figure out if I should transition. Prior to that, I had been going to trans group meetings for several months. I had meaningful conversations with TS women, non binary women, and self-identified CDs too. I read countless articles and watched many videos online in an additional effort to figure it out. I still didn't know what I should do, so that's why I reluctantly sought out a therapist.
I found one within 10 min driving distance from my home, who was part of a group practice. I deliberately picked a male therapist because I felt like maybe a male would discourage me from transitioning to the other gender. He also said, before I met him, that although he had experience with trans patients, they were basically all teenagers. I guess another part of me wanted him to tell me that I was too old to transition. Or that not realizing I'm trans until an older age did not make me a TS woman.
During my therapy sessions, he let me talk most of the time. Every once in a while he'd ask me a question related to what I was talking about. He never told me I was this or that, and never diagnosed me with anything. And yet after just three weekly sessions of therapy, I realized I was unequivocally a transsexual woman. It was shocking but also felt so right. That I was able to get this result so quickly surprised me. I saw my therapist for a few more once-a-month sessions after that, but it was mostly just to check in and say how I was doing.
I haven't seen a therapist since, other than to get my SRS referral letters. But I'm still amazed at how much my therapist helped me despite him not fitting the 'norm' of a gender therapist for a middle aged trans woman. And looking back, I also find it kind of amusing at how confused I was back then. I am totally female in personality, interests, and relationships. Most of my friends now are cis females, and although a few know I'm trans, it's only because I told them. They were all surprised and said there was nothing about my looks, voice, social skills, or mannerisms that indicated I was trans. It's all been very easy for me to blend into society as a woman, because my behavior as a female, even conversationally and socially, just came naturally to me. And yet less than 2 years ago I had no idea if I was even trans enough to transition. lol
Last edited by Mirya; 11-16-2017 at 07:45 AM.
In my experience doing the video calls does take a little more focus. I have to make sure I schedule them for a time when the house is empty. Occasionally I do still go in person just to have an excuse for a day out. But my doctor noted during our last session That it’s interesting to see me more relaxed And tho I focus on him if I get up to take the phone with me to get a drink or sit outside for a smoke It helps me to not overthink how we spend our time. But that’s me
I'll be driving about an hour each way. I'll be seeing a lady who specializes in gender identity issues. I explained my situation to her and she seemed very nice, as did the staff when talking to them on the phone.
I actually want to meet face to face, at least right now. I went through many years of therapy starting around 16 years old for anxiety attacks. Gender issues weren't talked about back then. When I finally brought up the dressing topic he immediately went to the subject of latent homosexuality and fetishes. Then dropped it. I spent many wasted years looking for the wrong cause.
So, I want to make sure I'm talking to someone who knows what they're talking about. I'm no spring chicken. I think my last push came by reading DevorahK's recent post on starting HRT at 70. For that I thank her.
Funny thing is I'm not really scared. We'll see how that goes though as we get closer to the day!
Katie
When I first started therapy (as a requirement to stay married, if you catch my drift) I was travelling almost continuously. I made a lot of audio calls (before video calls were widely available) and they worked out fine.
But another possibility is to alternate video and FtF.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.