A Heel Too Far?

[Kas]

Ok, so after being out with my SO for about a month now, she has given me my first "line" not to cross as they say... And it is heels! She told me I can wear anything EXCEPT heels because she would find it too weird. I don't understand this because she has seen me in a wig, dressed, wearing women's thongs, makeup, but heels are too far? Has anybody got an opinion on why this could be? I mean it could just be her, but I have noticed a couple threads on here about women finding their husbands heels and making a very big deal about it (Moreso than clothes/underwear). Do you think it's because they are not something even GG would often wear, so they feel strange about their man doing it? I don't get it. Any other similar experiences?

[Ariana225]

My wife doesn't like heels either. She doesn't care if I do and hasn't drawn a line... but she always comments with "I don't know why you like them, they are so uncomfortable, I try to avoid them". Then she jokes around and says "at least you don't have to wear them all day, then your feet would know true death!"

[Robertacd]

They are probably just jealous of how good your legs look in a pair of heals, I know my wife is.

[Kas]

I have never had the pleasure unfortunately, roberta. I can guarantee you I would though!

[Jean 103]

Most of my friends are GGs and most don't like heels. I wear them all the time no problem. But to your question. Heels are looked on as being sexy. You could be seen as looking for someone new, if you get my drift. With me I were heels all the time so I don't believe I'm seen that way by my friends.. Try talking to her about it.

[Gillian Gigs]

It varies from one SO to another. For my wife it was bras for the longest time, then one day she helped me to buy one, and from that day onward there was no more problem with bras. Go figure, If you can figure out and understand women, write a book, you will make a fortune.

[Kas]

Most of my friends are GGs and most don't like heels. I wear them all the time no problem. But to your question. Heels are looked on as being sexy. You could be seen as looking for someone new, if you get my drift

Hi Jean,

I was thinking it could be along those lines. Maybe she could be thinking they make me too attractive to men? Or that I'm trying to attract men? If that's the case I kind of see her point. You don't wear heels for comfort. You wear them to draw attention/be sexy like you said.

[Jean 103]

It's how They see things in general. I'm differant. I run around on the balls of my feet all the time. I have been doing it every day going up and down ladders. For me heels are more comfortable than flats. So when they wear them it's when you are dressed up. You just need to explain your point of view. For me it's about fashion. I simply try and have my shoes complement my outfit.

[Teresa]

Kas,
It's surprising how many women don't wear heels, yes they can be ultra feminine and down right sexy and I wonder if that is part of the problem , they try and play those attractions down. It takes confidence to wear them , OK there is the problem of being uncomfortable when worn for long periods . There is a natural heel height guide which I posted a thread on a while ago, my natural height is almost 3.5 " and the ones I have in that range are the most comfortable, I wore a pair of nude/beige ones all day at a pride meeting .

I admit I love them for so many reasons , as my wife hasn't seen me at all I don't know which part she would dislike the most , I always felt forms might be the make or break , maybe I should just ask her .

[Kas]

Teresa,

As I mentioned I have never had the pleasure of wearing heels. Similar to Jean, I usually walk on the balls of my feet as my calf muscles are shorter than normal (had to wear heel risers as a child in my shoes) so I imagine they would be quite comfortable for me. I am definitely drawn to the look and I feel a nice pair of heels can be the final touch on a complete outfit. Oh well might just have to get some on the DL.

[Stephanie47]

Pure speculation on my part. Perhaps wearing a really high heel (4-5 inches) would alter your walk and posture too much. Maybe wearing flats you still walk like a man, but, put those heels on and the sway, hip movement, etc just becomes too feminine. Heels may be the last thing which stops her from seeing nothing but a woman. My wife would hate it if she saw me in four inch heels because she had a foot operation/fused toe which prevents her from wearing heels. She already hates me because I have no hair follicles on my legs and no underarm hair. Good thing I have male pattern baldness.

[Maria 60]

That's funny because when I told my wife she didn't want me to wear anything pink. I guess I understood at the time pink being a more feminine colour, then one day she comes home with a pink bra and matching panties. I didn't question it I just thanked her and then I bought a pink skirt and she didn't say a word about it.
I believe it's was about control, having a word in it, or like she felt she had to make a rule to show she was in control. My father always told me if I want to live a happy life don't try to figure out the women, what's good today isn't tomorrow.
Give it a month and she won't care anymore. Wearing heels even in the hose was an experience I never would have thought of, I thought the higher the heel the more uncomfortable they would be. But it's not, it all depends on the shoe and how it fits to your foot, some of them it feels like I'm not even wearing shoes, and then I have others I can't even keep them on for two minutes regardless of the height.

[Kas]

That is funny, Maria. I told my fiancé I owned hot pink thigh high stocking last night and she didn't bat an eye-lid, but mention shoes and off she goes hahaha. I do think you could be right you know... It could be her just feelin like she has some say in the matter rather than her really caring THAT bad...

You've got my hopes up now she's gonna bust through the door with some new heels for me! Finger crossed XXX

[Samm]

With my wife, the 'line' was jeans. After a few weeks of back and forth, I figured out it was the boy bits she thought would make them not fit/look right. Another few weeks of discussions here and there, and we picked out a pair together at a thrift store. Once she saw them on me, the 'line' was no more. Now, they're pretty much all I wear. And we have gone out together while dressed once so far. So she may come around. I might mention it conversation once or twice, but don't over do it by talking about it constantly. You don't want to push her further away on the subject.

[Minnietheminx]

My thoughts are that the heels are the `final touch` so to speak. Your OS although you dress in everything else and enjoys it still prob sees that yes you are feminine but the heels are the last little touch that would make you exactly like her as a GG which at first can honestly be a little intimidating when youre meant to be the sexy one lol ... Its like the finishing touch on a cake. You can have a white iced cake but until you put a christmas tree on it or a happy birthday decoration thats the final touch that identifies it as one or the other and makes it appealing to the eye ...Ive always seen the heels as that final touch whereby the legs suddenly take on a sexy look and the walk becomes different and feminine and everything else then follows suit.....thats just my take on it i may be totally wrong and I hope that makes sense as i am totally useless as explaining what i mean lol xxxx

[Kas]

Hi Minnie, You explained it very well with the cake analogy actually. It's good to hear a GGs opinion.

[JocelynJames]

Hi Kas,
Initially the “line” with my wife was wig and makeup. That disappeared eventually when she saw I was just looking to be “complete”. I think for them It may be the thing that they feel absolutely makes one “femme” and they’re trying to hang on to their husbands and in their mind that is where it changes(for them). Currently , I am aware of no line when it comes to clothing or makeup or whatever. Commonly her answer is “ if it makes you feel good”

[Krisi]

So just don't wear heels. Buy yourself some nice flats and enjoy your freedom. Perhaps in a few months she will lighten up the "rules". And when she does, don't go overboard. Start out with 1" heels. Then 2", then 3". Try to lay off the hooker heels.

My advice to you is to take everything slowly and watch her reaction. Dress casually, like she does at first. Don't just go all out and dress like a hooker or someone going to the ball.

[nikkim83]

That is funny, Maria. I told my fiancé I owned hot pink thigh high stocking last night and she didn't bat an eye-lid, but mention shoes and off she goes hahaha. I do think you could be right you know... It could be her just feelin like she has some say in the matter rather than her really caring THAT bad...

You've got my hopes up now she's gonna bust through the door with some new heels for me! Finger crossed XXX

For my wife, it was skinny jeans are out of bounds. It is the only thing she is no good with, but her reason is more that its a gay thing then a fem thing. All good with me because I don't care for jeans.

[Pat]

I can't know what your SO thinks, but I imagine she's run through a bunch of scenarios in her head and the idea of you on heels crosses some mental line. It could be that in her mind you won't look graceful in them or a fear that you would. Doesn't really matter. The question is will you respect her wishes or challenge her about the one thing she draws the line at? Your choice.

[Jayne44C]

After coming through a tough week (talking & arguing some), we just reached an agreement. It's photos of all things! I guess we're in a DADT phase, which I will happily accept. So I took down my profile photo and it won't be going up again. That's our compromise and it's one I can live with. I did enjoy seeing myself online and it was a thrill! I don't like it as much as I love my wife and being married. Photos.....

She knows my taste in clothing. She doesn't understand it because it's so, so different from hers. I don't dress trampy or reveal too much skin. It's not my style and I certainly don't have the figure for it! I prefer color & prints, love reds, oranges, yellows, purples... I guess the warmer clothing color palette. She likes to blend in and not draw attention to herself, even though she has a nice figure. But that's her and I accept her style for what it is.

[~Joanne~]

My SO has made no lines, has never tried. If she did I think we would have problems as I also never make any lines about anything. we talk and it works.

[DIANEF]

My wife has always associated heels of any height being a bit 'tarty', I asked her why she thought that and she said 'low' women wear them! That was the best explanation I could get out of her. She has never had anything above 2 inch since I have known her, and she would not be pleased if she knew how well I manage my 4 inch heels.

[JenniferMBlack]

Women are a strange lot. For my ex it was Girls tops of any kind. Skirts,dresses, heels, make up, nylons, bras, forms, wig, girls jeans all good a skirt with a top or jeans with a top she would go off the deep end and it was anything she thought to be a female top. I don't get it but there is something that makes them say no I can not deal with that 1 thing. I wish you luck with it because heels are one of my favorite thimgs.

[nameinuse]

Hi Jean,

I was thinking it could be along those lines. Maybe she could be thinking they make me too attractive to men? Or that I'm trying to attract men? If that's the case I kind of see her point. You don't wear heels for comfort. You wear them to draw attention/be sexy like you said.

think you hit the nail on the head there. For me wearing 4" heels means I'm actively looking for attention because lets face it, legs look so much better in them