A Heel Too Far?

[Kas]

Ok, so after being out with my SO for about a month now, she has given me my first "line" not to cross as they say... And it is heels! She told me I can wear anything EXCEPT heels because she would find it too weird. I don't understand this because she has seen me in a wig, dressed, wearing women's thongs, makeup, but heels are too far? Has anybody got an opinion on why this could be? I mean it could just be her, but I have noticed a couple threads on here about women finding their husbands heels and making a very big deal about it (Moreso than clothes/underwear). Do you think it's because they are not something even GG would often wear, so they feel strange about their man doing it? I don't get it. Any other similar experiences?

[Ariana225]

My wife doesn't like heels either. She doesn't care if I do and hasn't drawn a line... but she always comments with "I don't know why you like them, they are so uncomfortable, I try to avoid them". Then she jokes around and says "at least you don't have to wear them all day, then your feet would know true death!"

[Robertacd]

They are probably just jealous of how good your legs look in a pair of heals, I know my wife is.

[Kas]

I have never had the pleasure unfortunately, roberta. I can guarantee you I would though!

[Jaylyn]

I know I walk and wear my heels way better than my wife wears hers, thus it could be jealousy or many of the other things mentioned. My calves protrude more than my wife's when I wear my heels and my butt looks better, but my wife has told me they make me look more like a real femal and that scares her. Who knows what they think and maybe that's just her battle she chose to have with that little line she doesn't want you to cross.

[Tamsin Secret]

I have never had the pleasure unfortunately, roberta. I can guarantee you I would though!

Oh my Kas... I kinda garuntee that once you try on some killer heels they will always be a joy to wear from both a visual perspective but also the way they can make you feel ultra feminine.

This is of course not true for everyone but for me heels are so much part of what is the make up of my dressing.

You don't have to wear them all day to get the feeling btw.

They are especially great with shaved legs and bare feet OMG!

[Kas]

Thanks miss. I saw the photo you put up the other day of your heels with the black tights and I admit they looked amazing.

[Jean 103]

Most of my friends are GGs and most don't like heels. I wear them all the time no problem. But to your question. Heels are looked on as being sexy. You could be seen as looking for someone new, if you get my drift. With me I were heels all the time so I don't believe I'm seen that way by my friends.. Try talking to her about it.

[Kas]

Most of my friends are GGs and most don't like heels. I wear them all the time no problem. But to your question. Heels are looked on as being sexy. You could be seen as looking for someone new, if you get my drift

Hi Jean,

I was thinking it could be along those lines. Maybe she could be thinking they make me too attractive to men? Or that I'm trying to attract men? If that's the case I kind of see her point. You don't wear heels for comfort. You wear them to draw attention/be sexy like you said.

[nameinuse]

Hi Jean,

I was thinking it could be along those lines. Maybe she could be thinking they make me too attractive to men? Or that I'm trying to attract men? If that's the case I kind of see her point. You don't wear heels for comfort. You wear them to draw attention/be sexy like you said.

think you hit the nail on the head there. For me wearing 4" heels means I'm actively looking for attention because lets face it, legs look so much better in them

[Leelou]

Wow, Kas, that's a tough one. As others mentioned, there are cute options, so it's definitely something you can work with.

You've only been out with her for a short time, so hopefully the line will soften or disappear over time. We've heard several examples of that in this thread also. It is fascinating hearing the different stories about specific items that women won't accept, but they'll accept the crossdresser overall. Yeah, women are funny (says the guy that likes to wear dreses)

[Alice B]

My wife also did not lke me wearing heels, but it was more about marking or denting our wooden floors. She would always comment on my heels and I think part of that was that she never wore heels higher than one inch. She once said that I looked good in them in passing. A total supprise. Still does not like seing me in a wig.

[Devi SM]

I didn't read all answers here but I can say for my own experience and reading some books where wives of crossdressers talk that it's really hard for a woman to digest the idea of her husband likes to dress as a woman.
So go slowly. Don't try to understand our argue about it. Thanks that she gives you some opportunities.
My wife found out a couple weeks ago, while I was showing her a new session of Vanessa's pics, that I'm doing my eyebrows which I'd doing since like a month before.
She get really upset but after 3 or 4 days I found her doing her brows. I offered my help, she accepts and then I realize that I do it better than her that for years didn't even do make up. So there was some grade of jealously from her but now I do not just her brows but been I wax my belly, chest and arms she comes and I do her, the make up and other things, so go slow.
For me it's been year and a half since I go out to her. But everytime could be new things or issues that shows up.
Be patience...

[Littleg2]

It seems strange that your SO says no heels when she hasn't even seen you in heels? Maybe she's afraid, trying to hold onto an image, or control, like others have said, or maybe she's worried she'll like it? (Yes, I know, a bit farfetched.) Whatever the reason, I hope she does soften over time and you are able to wear the heels you want. The sooner, the better, of course.

For myself, the only “line” or rule I have laid down so far is “’No tank tops over bras!” (and I mean this is a loving way) My lovely CD’er wears Hanes men’s tank tops all the time, under clothes or as a top when it’s hot, but then comes out with these hideous (at least in femme mode- they are worn and have paint stains, etc.) tank tops over a beautiful bra and it seems so out of place. I have *requested* that she wear camisoles, if wanting to put on a tank, over her bras.

I know some girls wear men’s tank tops, T’s and men’s button ups over bras for a certain (sexy?) look, but when he is dressed as a women it seems out of place to me. Under certain circumstances, it might work, but I hope I’ve painted an accurate picture as to why I don’t think she should. I have told her she is more than welcome to borrow mine, and have actually stripped her and put one of mine on her –lol (I have a huge variety, ranging in all sorts of colors).

Good luck with the heels! -g

[Genifer Teal]

It's her limit. it doesn't have to make sense to you, unfortunate as it may be.

[Gillian Gigs]

It varies from one SO to another. For my wife it was bras for the longest time, then one day she helped me to buy one, and from that day onward there was no more problem with bras. Go figure, If you can figure out and understand women, write a book, you will make a fortune.

[Jean 103]

It's how They see things in general. I'm differant. I run around on the balls of my feet all the time. I have been doing it every day going up and down ladders. For me heels are more comfortable than flats. So when they wear them it's when you are dressed up. You just need to explain your point of view. For me it's about fashion. I simply try and have my shoes complement my outfit.

[Teresa]

Kas,
It's surprising how many women don't wear heels, yes they can be ultra feminine and down right sexy and I wonder if that is part of the problem , they try and play those attractions down. It takes confidence to wear them , OK there is the problem of being uncomfortable when worn for long periods . There is a natural heel height guide which I posted a thread on a while ago, my natural height is almost 3.5 " and the ones I have in that range are the most comfortable, I wore a pair of nude/beige ones all day at a pride meeting .

I admit I love them for so many reasons , as my wife hasn't seen me at all I don't know which part she would dislike the most , I always felt forms might be the make or break , maybe I should just ask her .

[Kas]

Teresa,

As I mentioned I have never had the pleasure of wearing heels. Similar to Jean, I usually walk on the balls of my feet as my calf muscles are shorter than normal (had to wear heel risers as a child in my shoes) so I imagine they would be quite comfortable for me. I am definitely drawn to the look and I feel a nice pair of heels can be the final touch on a complete outfit. Oh well might just have to get some on the DL.

[Stephanie47]

Pure speculation on my part. Perhaps wearing a really high heel (4-5 inches) would alter your walk and posture too much. Maybe wearing flats you still walk like a man, but, put those heels on and the sway, hip movement, etc just becomes too feminine. Heels may be the last thing which stops her from seeing nothing but a woman. My wife would hate it if she saw me in four inch heels because she had a foot operation/fused toe which prevents her from wearing heels. She already hates me because I have no hair follicles on my legs and no underarm hair. Good thing I have male pattern baldness.

[Maria 60]

That's funny because when I told my wife she didn't want me to wear anything pink. I guess I understood at the time pink being a more feminine colour, then one day she comes home with a pink bra and matching panties. I didn't question it I just thanked her and then I bought a pink skirt and she didn't say a word about it.
I believe it's was about control, having a word in it, or like she felt she had to make a rule to show she was in control. My father always told me if I want to live a happy life don't try to figure out the women, what's good today isn't tomorrow.
Give it a month and she won't care anymore. Wearing heels even in the hose was an experience I never would have thought of, I thought the higher the heel the more uncomfortable they would be. But it's not, it all depends on the shoe and how it fits to your foot, some of them it feels like I'm not even wearing shoes, and then I have others I can't even keep them on for two minutes regardless of the height.

[Kas]

That is funny, Maria. I told my fiancé I owned hot pink thigh high stocking last night and she didn't bat an eye-lid, but mention shoes and off she goes hahaha. I do think you could be right you know... It could be her just feelin like she has some say in the matter rather than her really caring THAT bad...

You've got my hopes up now she's gonna bust through the door with some new heels for me! Finger crossed XXX

[CateNatalia]

If you want to wear heels, you should. For me, they're essential, but then I have about 100 pairs of them!

It could be that your SO feels a little threatened by heels because, as others have said, they are seen as overtly sexy. Which they are! No two ways about it. But that's a good thing. It's nice to feel sexy. Also, I can attest that heels become addictive - before you know it, you're buying the right pair for the right outfit and there's no going back. I hope it all works out for you.

[deebra]

Heels are necessary when wearing a dress to be properly dressed. They also do wonders for boot cut jeans. And they make you feel feminine, sexy, protruding butt and the womanly sound when walking on a hard floor. There are no heels for men for dress or casual, just cowboy boots so what's left? women's heels and pumps.. Women's heels make a man's foot look a whole lot smaller. And the warning tag attached by the federal and state regulatory commissions require the wearer to also wear hose, panties and a bra when wearing heels, it's the law.

All the threads above are good but in her eyes when you put on heels that turns you from a man into a woman and her choice was a man, she doesn't want you to make her a lesbian. Simple, just wear them when she's not around.

[stephenie3756]

CateNatalia - Agree on heels being addictive. I too have around 100 pairs...can't past up a sexy pair of heels.