It's simple, RIGHT???

[Maria 60]

I went into my bedroom and opened my side of the dresser and I was admiring how much fem stuff I have collected through out the years. My wife walked in and asked what I was doing, I told her when I was younger I would have never imagined in a million years that I would find a women who would have accepted my dressing and sometimes I still don't believe I have my own wardrobe.
Well in her diffence she said that when she was younger she would have never imagined in a million years that her Prince Charming was going to be half a Princess, we both laughted.
When you read this anyone would think how simple things are being a crossdresser, well it's far from simple that forsure.
A few years back I would only go out for a drive fully dressed on Halloween or when my wife had to go somewhere and she didn't want to drive, so she would bribe me that I could drive dressed. Then I would go for a drive when opportunity wasnt coming in the house, it started once a month, then twice a month, once a week and started gasing up the car dressed.
Seeing how much more relaxed and focused I was when taking a drive my wife would even encourage it by having me gas up her car knowing how much I enjoyed it being out dressed. We both started being concerned because I was going out more and taking bigger risks, and we desided that maybe I should slow it down a little.
The problem is I took a step forward and now I can't go back, I don't even look for alone time in the house anymore, now I look when I could go for a drive. Last Saturday my wife was under the weather and she didn't want to ruin my weekend and she told me to call a friend or go for a Maria drive, but I stopped myself, the Sunday morning I got up early and again I wanted to go for a drive and again I stopped myself. It seems like that's all I'm thinking about these days. I know I wrote about this before and sounding like a broken record, but now I'm thinking about how easy things can really be. All I have to do is keep it inside, if I get caught in my house I can only get caught by my children, but if I get caught driving or putting gas in my car I could get caught by a co-worker or family member.
I think to myself how simple it is, I have an accepting wife, closet full of fem cloths and things, more then I could have ever imagined.
Doesn't it sound simple, RIGHT?????
Let me tell you, far from it.

[Abbey11]

Great post Maria, your right, so many things to consider and not get over confident

[kimdl93]

Definitely not simple. If only one could just keep it inside as some can. But what could be contentment seems to feel like confinement for an unfortunate few....maybe more than a few.

[KymG]

Great post.
Its certainly not simple, i guess it depends on how you feel about getting caught.
Im less bothered than i used to be.
To begin with it was scary, wouldnt go near the windows, now i do the occaisional drive.
If a neighbour saw me i really dont think i would care anymore, in fact they probably have seen me.

[NancySue]

I totally understand...totally. Supportive wife, complete wardrobe, freedom to dress, etc. What more is there? Well, you hit it on the head....wanting to go out more and more. Getting caught would be both a financial and social disaster. Folks around here wouldn’t accept or understand, even though I suspect there are others around town like me. So far, I’ve been lucky. I fear, sometimes that some day I’ll get caught. We’ve already had a few experiences bumping into friends, but I wasn’t dressed...underneath though, but had I been dressed....? Who knows. My wife isn’t comfortable with my dressing underneath when we go out...auto accident? No, it’s not simple.

[Fiona123]

Not at all simple in my experience. Sigh...

[Teresa]

Maria,
No it isn't simple, now think of your situation if your wife isn't on board at all. The one aspect I'm surprised at is my wife accepts me going out socially . My big difference is everyone knows in the family although she still insists on giving me the all clear to leave my home .

[mattfrykowski]

Not simple at all. Thank you for posting this Maria, I just came out to my SO after being together for 9 years. She is not very supportive, as a matter of fact she is very against it all. The night I told her she kept asking "how far do you want this to go"? I kept saying I wasn't sure, because I guess I had never thought about how far I want this to go.
Your post just opened my eyes to many more problems. I must say I am jealous that your wife is as supportive as she is, I think "if only mine would accept this or just be OK with me doing that". I suppose this is going to be a difficult road.

[Nikki A.]

It's not simple if you're married or afraid of the consequences. But be happy that you do have an understanding wife, that's a lot better than other members here.

[Majella St Gerard]

Nothing is ever simple in life

[docrobbysherry]

It IS simple, Maria. It's people and their individual circumstances that make it hard!

I'm a closet dresser. No one, except immediate family, knows about Sherry.

However, I've met 100's of T's and CD's. Because I often attend out of town T functions. You'd be surprised how quickly dressing part way and gassing up your car looses it's thrill after you've spent the nite out at a club with T's, GG's, and guys flirting with u.

Not to mention dressing day and nite for a week in Vegas! There r 1000's of dressers that do this and no one back home has a clue! I strongly suggest that u and anyone else that "wants more" to attend a T friendly venue. Heck, if a guy in a mask can make friends? U certainly can!

[Connie.Marie]

Maria,
You said:
"but if I get caught driving or putting gas in my car I could get caught by a co-worker or family member."

It could be a lot more complex & there could be a few more consequences,
What if you're in a car accident?
What if stopped by the police - OK that's maybe not a biggie.
What if you have car trouble /flat tire & are stranded? Then someone stops to "help".

And yet I drive hundreds of miles a month going to places away from my town, dressed.

Hugs, Connie

[Leslie Langford]

I'm happy for you and your supportive relationship with your wife, Maria, but with all due respect - I think that for many others here alongside myself who are dealing with intractable DADT marriages or long-term relationships, your "plight" would fall under the category of "First World Problems".

[Kayliedaskope]

Dressing is simple. Everything that goes along with dressing is the difficult part.

Maybe slow things down a bit, like only gassing up once a week, or cutting back on the "driving while dressed" thing. Remember that it's not a question of IF you're outed, but WHEN. This is something all of us have to deal with sooner or later.

[Stephanie47]

Life is never simple. You're fortunate you're able to go out the front door with the blessings of your wife. I think most cross dressers do not have that support. I've been out driving and taking strolls. After awhile walking in the cool evening breezes seemed sort of mundane. I still consider myself hidden when out because I'm intentionally avoiding human interaction. I kind of wonder sometimes what my reaction would be if it came down to choosing on a daily basis what side of the closet I pulled the wardrobe from. Today, I feel I want to wear a pretty floral dress, heels and hosiery, and, all that womanly stuff. The next day it is my torn and tattered jeans and holey tee shirt, no socks and shoes. Would I lose whatever identification there is in the clothes? Sort of running around naked in a nudist colony where clothing was banned. What then? I suspect there is an inner need to become someone else through the choice of clothes. That's what makes it not so simple....figuring out who you really are. Of course, that's what we are afraid of when we encounter others. Who is this guy?

[faltenrock]

yes it isn't simple.
After many years of dressing, collecting a huge wardrobe, my wife gives me the freedom to dress at home when I'm alone in the house.
More importantly, she lets me go on my weekends when I need to go out dressed. That's usually every 4-8 weeks for two days.

I promised to her no to go out in the next large city of around our hometown to make sure I don't run into someone we know.
Since years, I use my business trips throughout Germany to go out, mostly I drive to the Netherlands (190 miles) to go out there.

Seems like it is working out, even though she doesn't like me to go out dressed, she doesn't like the whole thing actually, but she tolerates, and that's a gift for me and more than one could expect from a partner and wife.