A Cross Dressing Dream.. Another one.

[Lydianne]

Hi, everyone!

Ideally, I would have loved for this to have been posted here .

Anyway, up to now, the only TG dreams that I can remember are similar to Confucius, Laura & Petra in terms of trying to hide. The only bit I remember is that I'm hiding behind a car from some family members. Above the waist, all is usual, but then I look down, and I'm wearing really short shorts, stockings and heels . An opportunity to run presents itself, but I can't .

"Lydianne, just carry the shoes!" .

Yes, I know. I tell myself that when I wake up, but I don't. I'm just trapped there .

So that was the deal until last Thursday night:

The dream was me at some CDers' gathering. For some reason, it was hosted by my mother . That bit was weird . You could not find anybody less tolerant of anything LGBT than her . Anyway, it was a group of amazing looking CDers, all looked genetic, all had convincing voices, and all were there with boyfriends.. I was there in guy mode, alone .

My dressing situation is that I live by myself, and my only restriction is having enough time. But I developed an acute beard rash that has shut me down for the last two-and-a-half months. Last weekend, for the first time, I looked in the mirror, and the rash wasn't the first thing I noticed. Remnants are still there, but not in the hundreds. However, I decided to leave it for another week to improve a bit further, i.e. to this week. ( When the beard gets to a certain length, the skin used to start to recover. I'm not sure what happened on this occasion ). Anyway, this weekend, I'm ill with a big cold - which started at work on Thursday . So like others, this dream could be loosely connected to real life dressing.

I wonder what's going to stop me next week . At least I might get another dream out of it .

- Lydianne.

[JoanneB]

When the pink fog lifts and I go for a while without crossdressing, I do have dreams of CDing. I have had at least a dozen dreams that I can remember. Most of them are good dreams but in 1 or 2 of them I am trying to hide from other people. I guess it can be strange the way the brain works.

[Teresa]

Lydianne,
I'm sorry your facial hair gave you this frustrating problem, I hope it improves soon and you can maybe live some of your dreams.

They are confusing but maybe showing the inner conflict between being openly out and the little voice reminding you're a guy and shouldn't have these thoughts and needs !

I had long term dreams when I was 8-9 when my CDing started , they are relevant and shouldn't be discarded as unimportant , mine told part of my CDing story , as my gender counsellor pointed out .

[Lydianne]

Joanne, I wonder why your brain would give you pleasant dreams and then give you a couple of scary ones. It's not as though your views on CDing change between them . . or perhaps they do(?). Or maybe it could be a reminder that there might still be dangers (?).

In my usual dream, my brain makes me more vulnerable through what I'm wearing than I would let myself be, and much less able to think myself out of a bad situation than I am. Indeed, weird.

Thank you for the well wishes, Teresa! I hadn't really tried to interpret the hiding dream because I consider myself a lot more capable than how I behave in it. But maybe I don't take off the shoes or run away because maybe my subconscious considers those to be backward steps in the journey ( not that I'm at the advanced position that you are, but there is a tiny bit of road behind me ). Thank you for that astute viewpoint! And I also hope for the best for you in the future with your move and your relationship adjustments with the members of your family.

- Lydianne.

[Linda P.]

Hello Lydianne, I hope your cold is getting better.
This dream is very fascinating in regards to the appearance of your intolerant mother hosting a CD gathering in which you are present in guy mode. Fascinating because you're seeing your mother hosting a very appealing group of CDs and yet you yourself are not part of the CD group but just an observer standing alone en drab. it's a cliche to say that dreams are a way of resolving real life conflicts, but this seems to be not resolving but reflecting the common CDer's conflict between what we are, closeted, versus what we would like to be, open with family approval. You mention that a recurring skin condition has prevented you from dressing recently. Has the frustration of not dressing caused you to spend more time thinking about the problems and rewards of dressing, causing your subconscious to reflect it in your dream?

[SamanthaToday]

Hi Lydianne

I find it interesting that you are behind a car, it's not a Mail Box or a ledge, its a vehicle that allows us to move around freely.

You are standing there, dressed between the sexes, you cant run because moving away from the car will reveal part of yourself you arent ready to reveal, it's a safe place.

You then have an opportunity to run but don't because of the shoes.

Maybe its your subconscious wishing you would just be discovered because as you say your Mother will never understand.

You are in a Fight or Flight moment, I think in your dream you pick Fight , and stay, the shoes are just a mobility thing in dreams not unlike the car.

I will give a thought on your next dream when I have a chance..lol.

Love the Glasses you look very pretty.

[Lydianne]

Hi, Linda! Thank you for the good wishes. I rarely get colds, but when I do, I beat them in about 4 days. Sunday will be day 4; I should be all ready for work on Monday .

That is some very in-depth analysis. I thought I had it all figured out as soon as I woke up, but yours is one step further than what I had considered. I have never had parental acceptance as a conscious thought. The chasm is too wide to contemplate it. Stuff has been said in relation to others, and religion and tradition have been used as the basis. Me versus her religion and tradition, I would never win that. End.

Heh, the skin condition has caused me to spend more of something else . I was out of control with what I bought in September . Anyway, this dream was the first since the rash started, but I have been a bit down thinking about stuff I can't do because of it. It has probably been building up. I used to be happy for years without transforming my face, but I now realise I've developed a need for that function. I really don't want to be only happy when I don't look like me. That would be too difficult.


Samantha, thank you for your comments! Interesting angle on the significance of the car. I had not thought of that . I think it would give me too much credit to say I choose to fight. I just freeze. The running opportunity is a good one, too. To fight would have been to step out walking like this .
I was helpless .

Thank you for the replies .
- Lydianne.

[kimdl93]

Hi Lynndiane,

yeah ive had those frustrated and hiding dreams over and over... always finding myself compromised by my attire and struggling to evade ridicule. There have been those rare dreams when all the stars align and bring me so close to acceptance....but never quite.

now your dream is a first. Totally surrounded by passable CDrs and hosts by a heretofore non-accepting mom....damn...sorting that out might take some time.

but, at the core, one might ask why our dreams always involve our worst fears or unfulfilled hopes...