The difference between women and men

[Nikki A.]

I do attend church as Nikki for almost a year now. So as not to appear too vain I always wore the same wig.
Since today was cooler I wore a longer wig. I had 5 or 6 women comment on it as soon as I got in and comments on which they liked better. It kinda surprised me in that men may notice but never say anything. Kind of felt nice and I felt that I am pretty much accepted.

[Becky Blue]

Nice Nikki.. I reckon the majority of men would not have noticed if you changed your hair length or colour.

[Krisi]

I suspect the men might not want to be seen talking to a "tranny".

[julia marie]

The big difference is in how men and women acknowledge each other on a daily basis. Listen to women in any office, cafeteria, social gathering, etc. They compliment each other on the other's hair, shoes, top, skirt. It's part of their natural interaction. It's "normal" to them. For a guy to say to another guy that he likes the other's shirt. Is it new? Where did you get it? Sorry, that just doesn't happen with most guys. Some would fear that the other might think they were gay. More likely we're just an oblivious bunch (those on this site excluded) who don't even compliment women or take note of a fresh article of clothing or hairdo on a woman except on lonely nights in a bar. The first few times I had a sales clerk or someone compliment me on a bracelet or sweater, I had no clue what to say. By listening to other women I picked up on the fact that a good response is to compliment her back on something she is wearing.

[Nikki A.]

Kristi, in most cases you'd be right but at least at church even the men are now talking to me. So there is hope. I may be a tranny but I can talk about sports, and other other male things. I just dress different.
Julia you so eloquently said what I was trying to say. Thanks.
You know we always talk about being accepted and showing people we are alright. I'm not trying be a role model or a spokesperson, but if we want acceptance we need to get into the real world and be ourselves and stop hiding.and bemoaning on how the world is treating us wrong. If I can change some people's opinions of what or why we do what we do at least I made a dent. I'm just being me and I'll take the little victories.

[Stephanie47]

There was a thread early this week or late last week on why a woman cannot stand to see her husband wearing a wig although otherwise totally en femme. My take on that thread and your encounter is women place a lot of value on their hair. They are quick to notice a new hairdo or haircut or dye job. And, since women seem to be more relaxed among themselves and among gays and transgender women I am not surprised they would open up and speak to you about it. On the other hand men seem to always want to avoid or run away from a gay man, transsexual or cross dresser. Perhaps they fear it's something they can catch, like the plague.

[KrissyCD]

Kind of related to this conversation. Is it wrong to compliment a women's clothing etc from a male point of view? I was traveling the other day in my work attire and this women had the most sexiest strappy heels. I loved them. First of all she looked amazing in them. Second I WANTED THEM! Was very polite and professional but I just flat out said "I love your heels". She seemed to really appreciate the compliment as I was sincere and polite. I don't think that is something most men would do? Again i never meant it to be hitting on her as I sincerely loved her heels. Maybe that's the reason the conversation went so well and she gave me a hug.

[Sami Brown]

As a male, I feel uncomfortable complimenting women on their appearances because they may think I have an ulterior motive. I wonder whether the men at the church have that same mindset towards you?

Having said this, I think I am going try complimenting someone the next time I see something I admire. I would like to see whether my preconceived notion is wrong.

Sami

My new blog: The Crossdresser Report
https://crossdresserreport.com

[cdsamswife]

I think it's easier for women to pinpoint the differences in appearances sometimes. Sometimes my own cd-ing husband can't tell what Ive changed until I point it out... I guess it definitely is easier for a woman to comment on appearances rather than a man.... not sure why either... Glad you have a good supportive group of ladies at church!

[Nikki A.]

I've found that if it is a sincere (not a pick up line) complement most women do appreciate it. I don't usually complement clothing, but I will complement nail polishes, or a piece of jewelry. Just like I appreciate it, when someone says something nice to me.
As far as men's comments, mind you this is a local church that is accepting but not an LGBT magnet, with older or second or third generation members and a few gay members. I don't expect many complements or comments from them. But I have eased into a comfortable relationship with most of them including the retired police chief, we chat about different things. There were a few women who were supportive from the very start, but it seems as I started to attend regularly, and people got to know me the circle of women that are very friendly has grown.

[Kayliedaskope]

Nikki, one of the ways I strike up conversations with women, even in drab mode, is to politely compliment them on a piece of jewelry they have on, and ask what it is. (Disclosure: I go to the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show every year, and have picked up a lot of knowledge about jewelry, gemstones, etc.) The ladies are always very pleasant and willing to talk about their jewelry, and sometimes even refer me to where they got it.