How did you feel going out en femme for the first time ?

[IleneD]

Oh Lord, yes.
Excited, exhilarated, frightened, bewildered, wonderful, .... and entire mix of emotions, some of them conflicting all at once. A kind of temporal distortion kicked in.
I had just purchased my first dresses and my full on dressing up was but months old. I was taking a long bicycle trip, pedaling 50-60 miles a day and staying in nice B&Bs along the way.

The first night of the trip I stayed at an old railroad hotel in a small agricultural city. It was in the downtown on a city square.
I brought my long blue floral gown, heels but not a wig (didn't wish to harm). I added earrings and lipstick. I was traveling light because I was backpacking my gear.
I showered, shaved and dressed from the trail. I scouted out an acceptable restaurant on the other side of the city square, so I had a few blocks to transit in order to get there.

I got on the elevator to the lobby, took a breath and prepared for my first public "entrance". I was scared sh!tless; almost like flying a first combat mission. I kept my head straight ahead and strode out of the elevator and through the empty hotel lobby. I caught a glimpse of the desk clerk on my way out. Yes, he noticed the large man in a dress.
I had dinner (another great story), walked around the town square unmolested and returned to my hotel.
I had the desk clerk take my photo when I returned. Poor lad. He was so confused, but I put him at ease.
Bothwell Lobby 1-FC.jpeg

[Debra Russell]

First time out.....felt like I breathed in a breath of fresh air and stepped into a realm of well being............................Debra

[katiej1989]

First time I went out fully dressed took a long time and a lot of 'testing the waters' to get there.

I had gone out once when I was about 17, but I was in a skirt only, regular guy shirt, no wig, no makeup, and had painted nails. I drove through the drive-thru so no one could really notice what I was wearing and they barely noticed my nails.

Fast forward to age 29 and I had gotten much more into dressing, but was still nervous about it. I did a few things publicly - tried on clothes at the store, etc, but when I finally got the courage to go out was when I was out of town. I was in a city about 2 hours away from where I lived and decided it would be the perfect opportunity - no one would know me, no chance of getting caught and outed. I went to a mall (of course) and got mostly the way dressed in my car. I did some makeup, put on my wig, put on a skirt, blouse, bra and breast forms, and some heels. I sat in my car for 30 minutes at least in a parking garage, trying to get the courage up to walk in. When I finally did walk in, the first thing I did was duck into a dressing room and debate with myself whether I should just give up and leave. However, after ANOTHER 20 minutes I finally walked out of the dressing room and into the mall. I was so thrilled with myself! I got my makeup touched up at a Sephora makeup counter, I tried on new heels in a shoe store, and I browsed jewelry at a jewelry store. It was tons of fun and I even went out again a month or so later in my home town!

[Leslie Langford]

All of the above, but I would add one more "twist" in my case. In many ways, this also felt like an "out-of-body" experience for me...

You know, the type you see in movies or in television shows where a person has just died (say, on the operating table, where it appears that they are going to make it through the dangerous and touch-and-go surgery after all, but in the end, apparently don't). Their spirit then hovers briefly over their lifeless physical body, hears and sees everything that is going on around them, but all the while being this ghostly presence that no one else in the room is aware of. Eventually, the spirit is either reunited with the physical body if the frantic resuscitation efforts are successful, or else it passes on into the Great Beyond to forever remain a troubled, incomplete soul.

So yes, exhilarated AND terrified all at the same time, feeling totally disconnected from the real world that was happening around me, yet at the same time awestruck that I blended in so seamlessly that it allowed me to feel so invisible in the first place.

[kimdl93]

Its been a while, but I still have a fairly clear recollection. Like everyone else, my heart was racing. The first actual step out, fully dressed as I could be at the time, was into my front yard, just to move a sprinkler. That brief moment was like a damn breaking. When I realized the world wouldn’t end, I found the resolve to go farther...and within a day I getting a new more feminine hair cut, wearing make up and casual clothes as I shopped for more. A day later I bought my first good quality wig, went out for dinner and spent a few hours socializing at a gay bar.

so, fear overcome by euphoria, followed by sustained enjoyment of a new way to encounter the world. Now, after retreating for a time, I’m slowly allowing myself to re-emerge. Its a bit like a butterfly forcing itself back into a chrysalis. Coming out the second time is just as hard as the first.

[AllieSF]

I was excited, a little apprehensive as to how it would go. In the end it was a fantastic night out dressed as a woman, where I chatted up the the cute young woman bartender and a few other patrons. I really had no fear at all. This is the skirt I wore for that first time in early 2007 less than a year after I dressed for the very first time and I still have and wear that skirt occasionally. I think I had on a much cheaper wig. Since that time, I have grown out my hair and have said goodbye to my wigs.

[Rayleen]

Thank you all for a very interesting reading and just thinking about it gives me the chill...must be a real treat that you won't forget.

The first time for me was not in a crowd, but walking with a blouse and skirt , bra in my back yard to the gazebo.

I would like to try driving sometimes if I can decide , and walk where its not too busy.

I would think , it would be easier in a mall or public place, if you were two and not by yourself.

[Lana Mae]

The first time was without wig or makeup! It was a drive out in the country and back home! No big deal-seen by two police officers and a flag man! With wig and make up was at my transformation going wig shopping! I was with the lady who did my transformation and it was no big deal! Some weird expressions but that is all! Then,first time by myself at the mall! Anticipating problems! There was not any! Well, some teenage girls looked back in my direction and giggled! My three first times! Hugs Lana Mae

[nikkim83]

My first time was nerves and scared, and it was ABSOLUTELY horrific. Went to a drag show and the performer was vile and disgusting (not in looks i wouldn't judge anyone that way personality was horrific no interest in hearing about peoples promiscuity in public) I got snickered at because my confidence was low, and I really looked more like a MIAD. It took me about 3 years to get my confidence up enough to go anywhere off of my property again. But the next time it was not a bar, it was a highly lit public place and it was an incredibly great time.

And now I am spending days at a time out.

[alesha]

I must’ve been about 14 or 15. I’ve been dressing for so long that I don’t exactly remember when my first times were for anything. I would always order pizza delivery and meet the delivery guy at the street. Does that count as going out? I remember sneaking out really late at night and walking around the strip mall a couple of blocks down the street. I also remember staying home from school, getting dressed up and taking the bus to the mall. It was a long time ago so I don’t remember a lot of the details anymore. It was fun, I remember that. I was young and stupid and knew no fear. Going to the mall, I think I just walked around inside the stores to look at clothes. I don’t think I had the courage at that time to go in and try some clothes. I eventually did, but I don’t remember exactly when.

[Samantha981]

Excited, nerves, panicky. Will I run into someone I know? Will anyone call me out? What about that pack of teens? Yet oh so glad I did! If I could do it over again I would have dressed in a more blend in outfit. I wanted to be so femme that I went out in tall heels, slinky dress. Got more looks than I wanted so next time wore something that blended better and get few looks nowdays.

[Becky Blue]

Great topic Rayleen... my first time out was fully made up about 12 years ago in Sydney Australia.

The words have not been invented that can properly explain how I felt, it was a combination of exhilaration, dreamlike, thrilling, sensual and Fr#$^ing amazing!! At no stage was I at all scared, I had a makeover and went with a GG and another TGal so that helped. We walked down packed Oxford Street, hit a few bars, ate Thai sitting outside on the street and then hit some more bars...

Every part of that night is permanently etched in my memory

becky8 out .jpg

[newlybronwyn]

I went for the first time last night!

Totally unplanned and spontaneous but I had been playing with covering my beard with make up and for the first time was totally happy with it. So I grabbed the opportunity, dressed in a top, knee length skirt, my favourite 3" ankle boots, borrowed my wife's coat and went to pick up the groceries we needed at a supermarket about 6 miles from home I never normally go to.

It felt wonderful and I'm amazed with how few people paid attention to me. Only one member of staff seemed to notice just as I finished paying on the automated till and he gave me the biggest supportive smile.

Looking forward to next time!

[DaisyLawrence]

How did you feel going out en femme for the first time ?

Quite simply the third happiest day of my life by a huge margin (after my wedding day and the birth of my child). First time I ever felt like I was not living a lie and was free of stress and worry. That first few hours seemed like an eternity.

Daisy x

[Jillian Faith]

For me it was equal parts terror and exhilaration. I felt like I was standing in a spotlight on stage. I waited until night (not the best idea in retrospect but not unusual for a first timer). I must have circled around this gas station five times before finally pulling in and filling up. Then off to the supermarket where I sat in the car for about ten minutes trying to calm myself before finally going in and picking up a couple of things (using the self checkout of course). Then into a small city where I just walked main street for a bit. I remember passing a couple about my age on the street and feeling good when they walked right past without a glance. I didn't want the night to end.

I'll add very Liberating to the equal parts terror and exhilaration. In May of 2010 my wife and I were scheduled to attend a Trans Gala dresses were bought, mani/pedi were done but at the last minute my wife had second thoughts and we did not go. That evening I think she felt guilty so instead of attending the gala we went shopping on town north of where we lived. First we hit a small Payless shoes which was a little to crowded for my comfort. We left Payless and walked to a Target, while looking around in Target I temporarily lost sight of my wife and had a mini panic attack until I found her. We walked around Target and she coached me to slow my walk and enjoy the experience. After we left Target I wasn't ready to go home so I convinced my wife to make one more stop at Kohl's close to our house. We shopped and I really enjoyed the experience including trying on a pair of carpi pants in the ladies dressing room.

Below is a picture of the outfit I wore and another of me enjoying a well deserved glass of wine in our backyard to celebrate my first public outing.

[KimberlyJean]

My first time out I was super nervous and it did not go well. I still get very nervous if I havent been out for a while.

[Sarah Doepner]

I won't count the 2:00 AM walk to the ice machine or in the back yard, or even the drive where I got out of the car at the far edge of a large parking lot. Those were all preparation for really getting out and being near other people. I had stalled a score of times with my hand on the doorknob, but I finally manged to open the door and step out. I was TERRIFIED and nearly turned around. I had checked into a motel at the south end of the Las Vegas Strip and planned to walk from there to the MGM Grand casino. Looking back now I realize my choice of clothes was absurd, makeup badly done, my wig was cheap and my homemade breast forms needed a re-design. My shoes that had worked on carpet began raising blisters on the pavement. The skirt I wore was sliding down over my hips and my left breast form started to ooze out from under my bra. All of this as I'm crossing 8 lanes of traffic on Flamingo. I limped, hitched up the skirt, smushed the form back into my bra, took a dozen steps and repeated the effort, because although I was afraid, I had a goal of sitting down in a dark corner of the casino. It was closer than my room so I kept going. Inside the casino I sat at the first machine with no neighboring players I could find and wished for a cocktail server to drop by. As I sat I figured I should do something so I put a dollar in the machine only to have it jam and start the light on top flashing to attract a worker. The first one by could only offer change, something I didn't need. I asked for her to send a cocktail waitress, please. She left and I started to look around. Three men were in direct line of sight and they seemed to be looking at me. I believed they were and started to move into the paranoia stage of my venture. I couldn't wait to get my drink, I couldn't wait to get my dollar from the jammed machine and I sure couldn't wait for my foot to heal. I left. I limped, hitched and smushed all the way back to my motel room where I undressed and almost cried. If I had only worn that other pair of shoes and a different bra and maybe pants. I put on those things and left the room again with a level of confidence earned by experience and tempered by reality. I was elated and haven't stopped going out.

[Jenny22]

Other then full femme walks around my mobile closet in parking lots and driving, my first real outing was to meet a forum sister for coffee. I saw her, got out of my car and walked to meet her. We sat and chatted in full public view, and nary a problem. We met again (coffee, same place) a couple of weeks later. After finishing, she said for me to follow her to a supermarket. We WERE going to go in!! "Just own it", she said.

I did, exited the car, walked to the main entrance where she was standing, grabbed a cart, put my purse in it, went in and we walked the aisles. I was absolutely relaxed! Being with a seasoned sister removed my panic and steeled my nerves. We exited the store (no purchase made), walked by a stand where some local college frat guys were taking charity donations, went into the parking lot, and stood and chatted a bit. OMG, I'd lost a press-on nail! I looked back and saw it on the asphalt, so I went back to pick it up, bending at the knees, ever so lady-like.

I've been out to dinner en femme twice with the same sister, once including Doc Sherry and her friend, Cindi. No nerves. No fear. I've also been thru a number of fast food drive thrus fully femme and didn't try to disguise my voice. A girl once told me, "have fun, beautiful!" To be out in full public view, I need a crutch, and that is someone to be with me. I'm working on that now, 'cause I do want to own it.

[Ashleyrobyn831]

I went out so many times in jeans/slacks & blouse without being noticed that I usually consider my real first time to be when I went with my future wife to junior prom in matching outfits, hairstyles, etc, cause it's the first time I went somewhere public where people both knew me and couldn't help but notice me. We didn't tone it down cause that was the whole point: bright pink chiffon and satin dresses, high heels, French braids, the whole nine yards. I had very mixed emotions-I was relieved, even elated, to finally be myself so openly, but also nervous and afraid that some knucklehead would feel the need to react with violence. The actual reaction was a bit of a disappointment: most people figured I had done it as some kind of stunt or way to rebel, which I felt detracted from what I was really trying to do which was show everyone who I really was. But at least nobody punched me in the face or threw food or drink at us to ruin those beautiful dresses.

[Sometimes Steffi]

As Elizabeth said terror and exhilaration.

I'm originally from New England and the water at the beach is usually very cold.

There are two ways to get into the water:

1. Go in very slowly, get the toes wet, go up to the ankles, mid calf, knee, mid thigh and then just jump in.

2. Get a good running start and run into the water as fast as you can, keeping the knees high, until you get deep enough to dive in.

Once you're wet, the water doesn't seem so cold.

As I've said many times, I went to the Maryland Renaissance Faire the first time. As long as I was doing it, I wanted to see and be seen. First step was going to the costume rental counter and asking for a wench costume. Then, going into the changing room, putting on my bra and forms, and then the blouse and skirt. The girls at the rental counter laced up my bustier. They couldn't have been sweeter or more excited about giving me a good send-off to my day en femme. They were amazing and gave me enough confidence for the whole day. I must have been seen by thousands of people, and most of them didn't even look at me long enough to see that I wasn't a real girl. A few of the GGs gave me big knowing smiles or a thumbs up. I got a m'lady from one of the food vendors. When I went to return the costume at the end of the day, the girls at the costume rental wanted to know all about my day.

So, I went from terror to exhilaration very quickly. It's a day I will never forget.

I do have a picture from that day, but even though I love you girls so much, you can't see it because I really looked like a dude in a dress. But, it was the Ren Faire, and there were knights, pirates, maids, noblemen and noblewomen, friars, kings, queens and all manner of costumes. It was almost like Halloween.

[Jaymees22]

I do remember and it felt great. I always went out during the day, I planned my miss-adventures carefully. First going out for rides in the car, then moved on to walks in the park, then the drug store and had my first close up encounter. Then I felt a little braver and went to the grocery store, then the post office. I probably did all this over a few months and kind of got it out of my system. I was also going to a therapist and always went to her dressed. I just go to a support group now and that seems to be enough for me.

[Glenda58]

My first time was over 40 yrs ago. I remember it my wife and kids were out of town. My wife had a wig that I used I had been using her make up so I knew how to do it. It was a warm night went in to town and walk down the street and did window shopping. As I look back I was a little over dress heels short skirt and a tight top plus hose ( it was before pantyhose became poplar). Scare to death someone would know it's me and tell the world. Haven't been out in a while miss it.

[Samantha_CD]

My first time going out was scary as hell. I was wearing girls jeans and not even super girly girls jeans. After that I kept adding more and more stuff. And no one has ever confronted me or been nasty.

[julia marie]

I'll join the chorus who said it was exhilarating but somewhat scary. Stopping to pump gas I could only imagine a carload of good ole boys deciding to harass me. It didn't happen. In fact, nobody seemed to notice that I wasn't a GG. That was cool. Not so cool was making the mistake of walking on an icy New England sidewalk in boots with 3-inch heels for the first time. End of the day, I could only think: "I did it!"

[krissy]

my first time was when i was 12 my sister and my brother went to a movie house to see a movie my mom would leave us there all day till it closed.my sister said she was bored so we started playing hide and seek after a while i ran into the girls bathroom to hide she found me there and told me only girls go here .i told her i wanted to try on her clothes she said alright we were about the same size back then.hell im 60 now not the same size anymore lol i put on her panties and her slip also a nice party dress pink with bows in back i even wore her shoes she wore my clothes i will never forget the feeling i had as i walked down those stairs and when i sat down to watch the movie .it was the most wonderful day of my life,i didnt want to change back afterwards she got mad and told me she would tell my mom so i changed back.that was the first time i went out but not my last.