First time en femme and what was your experience and preoccupations ?
First time en femme and what was your experience and preoccupations ?
NERVIOUS, like all CD's going out for the first time and thinking everybody would clock me. But the pink fog says you have to do it. Just dress to blend, girl jeans not a skirt, the skirt later when you get comfortable going out. You will enjoy and want more, it will feel so good being dressed like all the other women you pass in the mall and feeling like a woman that comes from wearing girl clothes.
Very nervous, as are most first experiences. I, very carefully planned what I wore to blend in and where I was going. Preoccupations: getting caught, being recognized, flat tire, police, auto accident, etc. Things went well. I did hesitate getting out of the car, but finally did and walked into Dress Barn. I was approached by a friendly SA. She probably knew, but was very helpful, complimenting my blouse. I tried to disguise my voice, but don’t think I did well. Bought several things. When I got back to the car, And took several deep breaths, but smiled. With each going out, I feel more and more confident. Getting caught in our small town would not be a good thing, but I’m glad I conjured up the courage to do it.
The hardest part was making the decision to actually do it. Even though all i planned was to drive to a different town, park in a suburban street, get out of the car and walk around for a bit. And all at night, in the dark. I bought myslef a short coat, I wanted my skirt to be clearly visible. I wore small heels, easy to drive in and they'd make the right noise as I walked. My whole plan was not to rely on passing, in my case rhat would always be hard, but to hide away in the full hood of my coat and present key indicators that the person seen was a woman. If you see someone in a skirt, if you here the clip of heels the first assumption will be female, unless there is a reason not to think that, so my aim was not to give any obvious reason. Of course, the setting off was a bit nerve racking, I didn't want to be seen by the neighbours. But all went well and it was a great thrill sometime later to be out in the open and a good mile away from the sanctuary of the car.
Since these times, more than 20 years ago, my circumstances have changed and I now don't go out. But that may change.
It's a long time ago when I ventured out the first time completely en femme. I don't remember, but I was nervous. Now when I go out, I'm not nervous anymore, I tend to be very excited and keep that good feeling all day when out.
After many drives I plucked up the courage to leave the safety of my car. Super nervous and thought every eye was on me even thought there were very few people about. Didin't go far but once back in the car it was, wow I did it and immediately planned my next time out. I had a 2'' heel ankle boots, grey two piece top, grey skirt and my coat if I remember correctly, no one (as far as I could tell) gave me a second look.
Last edited by DIANEF; 11-15-2017 at 09:32 AM.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
As a teen I turned down the chance to be taken out in public dressed.
Have regretted it since and have still to find the courage and confidence to do so .
I was a bit nervous but everything went well with no problems. My preoccupations? Making sure that I looked presentable and as passable as I could possibly be.
That was quite a trip. Victoria's in Portland...all glammed up, perfect makeup...
Energized
Nervous
Happy...no call that joyful
Dancing on the breeze
Wobbly on heels
Loving
Grateful
Whole
Sad to go back into M mode...
Accomplished and proud of my courage.
For me it was equal parts terror and exhilaration. I felt like I was standing in a spotlight on stage. I waited until night (not the best idea in retrospect but not unusual for a first timer). I must have circled around this gas station five times before finally pulling in and filling up. Then off to the supermarket where I sat in the car for about ten minutes trying to calm myself before finally going in and picking up a couple of things (using the self checkout of course). Then into a small city where I just walked main street for a bit. I remember passing a couple about my age on the street and feeling good when they walked right past without a glance. I didn't want the night to end.
It was wonderful. I wore a skirt and top, bra, panties, pantyhose to my therapy appointment in a city about an hour away. And of course i wore the same clothes during the appointment and all the way back. It was a defining moment for me as someone who is transgender.
For me there was no "first time". I would go out in my truck wearing a bra under my male shirt. I would stop somewhere and put water balloons in the bra and drive around like that. Then I graduated to going out at night in the truck, stopping and putting on the balloons and a cheap wig. Eventually, I wore my wife's blouse and got out of the truck and took photos.
I continued to go out, getting better at my presentation but As I look at photos, I still had a long way to go.
As of now, I can make a decent woman in public. Not one who can stop and talk to people, but one who probably passes walking by.
What makes me nervous is getting into situations where I'm expected to speak to someone.
Krisi
As Elizabeth said terror and exhilaration. I went with my wife and we went to a local place and I chickened out and we left them tried Outback a few towns over. Minimal patrons , if I was clocked nobody said anything. We got drinks( my wife ordered) and the waitress was cordial with an”anything else for you ladies?” We drove home. Someday I will venture into the wild again.
If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss
It was so long ago, I honestly don't remember.
And to complicate things: As Krisi mentioned, which first time?
It was an evolution... A progression... A building of confidence & competence.
How I was presenting? Where I went & what I did? Face to face with someone? Interaction?
What exactly constitutes a "first time"?
Rhetorical question, I suppose. But I recall there being a nervous excitement to various early public outings of mine.
Definitely fun & scary, at the same time.
So many memories...
In some ways, I'm glad to have retired from 100% en femme, hanging up my wig for what I believe to be for good.
Wouldn't have traded those experiences for the world. But there's also a time & place for everything, IMO.
It was great! Got a full transformation makeover and went out with a supportive group. Still a bit nervous/excited.
SCARED TO DEATH!!
I thought every eye in the world would be on me, especially since we went to a mall.
It took about an hour to calm down and see that practically no one was looking at me. They were in their own world with their own worries and concerns and could care less that I even existed.
Now it's nothing to go out. I don't worry about anyone but me. Did I forget my car keys, did I remember my shopping list, did I bring my credit card. It's so much better worrying about me and not them.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I cannot remember which outing was the first. However, it would have been for a drive at night through the immediate neighborhood. I do remember the dress. It was a white short sleeve dress. Underneath was white undergarments; bra, panty and slip. At that time Sears was still selling a decent brand of thigh high stockings. I had on white strap on low heels. Wig was blond and curly. I did not do much other than drive around. Driving around was not as scary as sneaking out of the house while my wife was asleep. I often wonder if she really knew and feigned sleeping. Gawd, I was totally stupid back then.
First time out all dressed up was Halloween and I took the kids trick or treating. Lesson learned don't wear even low heels with all that walking. We then stopped at Burger King for a bite. One woman kept looking at me. She finally came up to me and excused herself, but she wasn't sure if I was in drag or just not a very good looking woman until I started talking to my kids and her daughter. I was nervous at first, but after a bit it got easy especially since it was Halloween.
To me just going for a drive dressed never occurred to me. If I'm going to do it I've always been all in or none at all.
I do remember being scared and hypervigilant. The whole thing was so internalized -- I was thinking about how to walk, how I was going to avoid capture and what story I'd have to excuse myself. I spent the whole episode in my head, only dimly noting my presence in the outside world. I'm pretty sure I went someplace where I thought nobody was around and yet I felt I was being watched from all sides and that anyone -- even people flying overhead in airliners -- could spot me and see straight into my horrible, horrible heart. When I got home unscathed, I sat down and smiled ear-to-ear and thought "I did it!" and that memory made me smile over and over for days afterward. And, really, the only thing I knew was that I was going to do it again.
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
I went out as a teenager. Then I knew no fear. Walked out, about two blocks, broad daylight, and back home. Then, as I was approaching the house I saw an electrical utility truck pull up. I sprinted to the door... and cowered in fear as I stripped everything off and changed, while the utility guy rang the door bell. I did not answer and he went away.
Years later, I went out for a "first" time while traveling for work in San Francisco. I stayed at a hotel near the airport. I got a room near one of the rear exits with access to the parking lot. I was scared. I stepped into the hallway. No one there. Keep going. Next to the vestibule by the exit. Peek outside to the parking lot. No one out there. Sprint to the car. Safe. I went to a transgender bar in the city, Divas. More or less same process there. I circled the block for about half an hour until a close by parking spot opened up. Wait in the car until no one is near. Step out.
I am not sure why I was so scared, but I was. I was not worried about being assaulted. I suppose I was worried about getting clocked, stared at, and harassed. I have been out often and regularly now. I say for the most part these things do not happen.
Very nervous, yet completely relaxed at the same time. Wifey and I waited until dusk so as not to scare any small children or the elderly! The hardest part was changing in the back seat of a Hyundai. Did wig and make up using the tiny mirror on the visor, which had its own challenges. The drive to our destination was uneventful despite hitting every single red light. (I think that was my biggest fear) our destination was a little too well lit inside. I felt like I was under a microscope. But I did get to meet a sister from the forum. I can't wait to get out again!
Of course, as it was my first time out, I couldn't be anything other than super thrilled that I was outside, in the real world, wearing a skirt. For the first time! But, if I was really a girl then walking down the road in a skirt woukd have been the most normal thing in the world as I'd have been doing it for nigh on 30 years. But the reality was, that this was me, and I'd only been doing it for a few, very exciting minutes.
I found a post of mine from over a year ago, describing my first time while all dolled-up at a drive-thru / first-ever speaking interaction with a stranger, a couple decades ago...
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...our-order-quot
Seriously, that lady was awesome!
Thank you so much, whoever & wherever you are...
Rayleen,
You asked; "First time en femme and what was your experience and preoccupations ? "
What now seems a very long time ago my first adventures out involved changing in the car in some quiet lane and then walking only a few yards while feeling super nervous and continually looking and listening for any cars that might be heading my way. Back in the car the feeling turned to immense relief and exhilaration. I suppose my only preoccupation was not being seen so should a car approach then I'd scurry as quickly as I could in heels back to the safety of the car.
Fast forward a couple of decades to the time I first ventured to go where I would not be able to avoid the muggles, albeit in the evening, and I guess my main preoccupation had switched to not being easily read. Just to blend as best I could. Still nervous but more under control. Now go to the first time I walked into a shop fully enfemme (day time as well) and still nervous, still looking to blend but also having a determination to see it though and "Stay calm and carry on".
What I will add about that last experience is just how quickly the nerves subsided. One shop became several in a short space of time getting to the point of, right, where can I go next. Talking that step, breaking the ice, does elevate your confidence immensely.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
That was son long ago, but I was terrified and exhilarated. I was so young, gladiator type 2 1/2" or 3" sandals, short summer skirt, and summer top, wig, and I didn't need makeup in those days; it was approaching twilight, local shopping center, not very busy. Yikes! I was so scared... But I just had to do it!
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