I rent out this gigantic house and after I sold my business she would never have to work again. I bought her a place in NJ but we turned into rental property because I was so f'ed up after breaking my back I needed to live with someone so we got this big house. I gave her and her husband the main room (the bed room is bigger then some apartments I have lived in) and I took the room at the other end of the up stairs: the up stairs has like a bridge connecting the two sides over a big living room so anyways my point is its possible not to see the other people that live there if you want.
So I was on the phone with the LGBT trans doctors today and she knocked on the door. I said come in she walked in past the first room of the bed room into the second and saw me dressed as the swiss miss girl full makeup but no wig. I couldn't see her face ut she said "Why are you dressed like that" She had never seen this before. I mentioned my ex who i was truly in love with probably 34 gf's ago and said "ExGF bought this for me it reminds me of her and I have alot on my mind and this is what I mean when I say I'm going through things." She said Ok.
A few hours later she came back with some food the cooks made and I was still dressed when she opened the door and I said "this is what I meant when I said I had alot on my mind" She was quite nice realizing something big had just happened with me.
So I told her I see the trans doctor next week but just told her it was the normal doctor. Haven't talked to her since then.
What do I say? I don't like talking sex with my parents. She knows I have a thing with dressing my GF in costumes as I do but most times she actually found my clothes and I said they were my GF's costumes.
She caught me at age 5 putting on my sisters clothes. In kindergarden play I played an angel with the rest of the girls. In the fifth grade I told her I wanted to be a girl but she think thats for other reasons.
My mother is totally cool cool I could tell her I had something important to tell her, then tell her i was gay then she would say oh ok what did you need to tell me that was important?
But my hands were shaking in fear. As much as I like to pretend to be a sissy I'm not. I have been shot multiple times, stabbed, ran into a burning building to rescue a drunk friend and his cat run over by a car twice etc etc. But this was fear.
But you know what I'm out side the building with drunk friend and cat and have only 1st degree burns like last time. But I still don't know what to say. God damn this is hard. Be so much easier if I could just be gay or something like that.
I dont want to tell her I want to transition untill I do at least 4 sessions confirming it.
At the same time I'm excited. My friend once dressed me up in full drag wig and all and guys were hitting on me like crazy. I pretended I only spoke sign language so not to give away. And that was before I have shrunk to 5'2" so I'm really excited but nervous.
I just hate talking about sex with my mom. She doesn't care but I don't like it. How do I explain I have always wanted to be a little sissy who is physically weak and short and small which I am now. "Oh despite me having a huge pair of balls in dangerous and social situations as demonstrated in the past I want to have a man carry me to safety in his strong arms"