Crossdressing life and technology

[CarlaWestin]

I stay as tech savy as a person can without actually being in the industry. And like many of us, I've created a second identity for Carla. It is an ongoing awareness to never let the two connect. A recent post reminded me of a close call and how I dealt with it.

I have at least 1000 but I fear technology so I don't take any pics with my cell phone, I'm afraid with a slip of a finger I will send pics to all my contacts.

My wife and I are in a DADT situation. This is a wonderful plateau that allows for eliminating the untruths and sneaking around that unfortunately accompany this proclivity. Wife knows that I crossdress but, she doesn't know my cd name or online identity. If she asked I would simply tell her, even though it's DADT. Us old folks are fairly blunt. We've already survived everything.

So here's the story:

Wife and I ran out to Home Depot to look at new kitchen faucets. We found one we liked so I scanned the barcode with my phone. I selected the view in browser function and the item came up in Amazon. I then selected share and sent the link to wife's and my email. She and I were sitting in our recliners in the family room and I checked my email. So there was the link I sent to us embedded in an email with the subject line Faucet.

And in bold letters so very prominently displayed the sender's name: Carla Westin.

So I started searching the internet to see if I could recall a gmail message. You actually can but, that function has to be enabled and then the time limit has to be selected. It only goes to 20 minutes.
Oh boy, I really would rather she not have my girl name or email. If she did it just wouldn't matter but, it's better she not know.

What to do, what to do!

So I mentioned, "Have you checked your email?"
"No, not yet."
"When you do, there's a strange email labeled 'Faucet' that got sent out when I did that scan in the store. It's got one of those funny long links in it."
"I never open email from anyone I don't know."
"Good, When you see the one with the subject 'Faucet', just send it to your Spam folder. That way it'll block email from that sender."

Now, I didn't go on and on. And everything I said was true.

I had the opportunity to check her email folders by her request and there was no sign of the email.

Any y'all had any close calls?

[Kelly DeWinter]

Happens to us all of the time. Even though I keep two separate email account and two separate fb accounts the only way to keep the two from commingling the cookie data is to open each in a separate browser. In cell phones the data is kept in common data files easily accessed by ALL of the apps on your phone. Advertisers and websites search this data to sent adverts too.

Most people have 5-10 ways to email something in their cell phone so the email apps sometimes get the wrong sender ifo.

Jeannie finds it amusing when Kelly sends her something clearly not from Kelly. I'm sure its happened even to my clients or co workers from time to time. I does not bother me.

Technology has gotten to the point that it's impossible to control things 100 percent unless you are a Level 23 Geek with Wizard skills.

[Lisa85]

It's amazon, they data mine. If you must use phone for photo notes, you need another phone to think of as a burner phone. Never go to amazon or read email on second phone. Or carry a small notepad.

Don't know of a good way to bypass. Start with amazon's do not track and add privacy apps, but it will never be 100%, or tell wife of other identity.

[Jean 103]

I'm out, but I have this friend that is in the closet, will never go out in public. Its her life I have no problem with it. Well I got a friend suggestion from FB, it was an account she had set up and thought she had deleted it. Yes I told her about it .

[LeannS]

My wife found that I was sending picture to Leann and she is thinking ex-wife oh we had a little sit down talk and she asked who is Leann and why are tou sending pictures to her I told her who leann was and all she said was interesting so I guess she has seen a picture of me

[docrobbysherry]

No, Carla. I have 2 email accounts for Robert on one server. (Robert is not my real name). And, one for Sherry on another server. Beyond that?

I use my phone as a phone. I use my camera for taking photos. I use my computer for everything else!

Everything's so simple that way!

[Judy-Somthing]

It's amazing how much stuff your computer keeps even know you've erased it.

Each time after being on this site I check my cookies and even after the browser says "all cookies removed" I still find a few crossdresser.com ones left.

One time I lost some documents so I ran some recovery software and it found 1,000s of erased files and quite a few of Miss Judy. Arrrrrrr!

[Kelly DeWinter]

Judy, that's a very good point.

[sherri]

One time I lost some documents so I ran some recovery software and it found 1,000s of erased files and quite a few of Miss Judy. Arrrrrrr!

There are ways to do a better job of deleting. For example, I use Bitdefender securityware and it has a feature that promises to permanently and irrevocably delete. I presume it deletes files and then writes over that space on your hard drive.

I keep everything separate -- emails, browsers, apps, social accounts, etc -- and still it bleeds over sometimes. For example, occasionally I'll get Friend recommendations from FB that cross over both ways.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I have my boy and girl email accounts on yahoo. I access both from my home computer, but only boy me from my work computer.

I get a lot of girl ads at home, and it doesn't bother me at all.

However, those girls ads follow me to work, and I have some concerns about that, especially, when it's something really sexy that someone gould consider borderline pornographic or sexual harassment.

I often bring my work laptop to meetings to make presentations and it's going to bite me someday.

I guess it's the cookies thing, but I'm not sure how to fix it.

[Maria 60]

Alittle while ago I deleted something important on my laptop, my son just like everybody's kids like that challenge to recover things that have been deleted. I wasn't comfortable with him digging around with my iPad, but he's favourite saying is "deleted doesn't always mean or is deleted", there's usally always a way to recover something. The younger generation are much more confidence and we are more scared that our devices are going to blow up.
When I finish on this site, I erase my cookies, Google history and then if someone post a video on u-tube I have to erase the history there. I'm tierd just writing about what I do after I'm finished here, and even doing all of this, I'm sure I missed something.
Believe it or not that one thing that almost haunted me was the copy/paste, I wrote a thread here, I took to long and I had to reload the page. I usally copy it, sign back in and then paste it. A few weeks later I thought I had something else on the paste and when I pushed paste, my thread came all there in front of my eyes. WOW! It's that easy isn't it. I love reading the resonance here because we learn about other peoples experiences and we can all be more careful in the future in our secret lives.

[Samantha981]

No such close calls here, but I'm very limited in my femme presence electronically. I am here of course, and I have a email. My email is out to just a few places and so I don't get many. So I just check on my computer. Only my guy emails and stuff on my phone so no possible mix up. I don't have a facebook account in either mode so no risk there. I do clear cookies when going between guy and gal emails... I don't have both up at same time... mostly worried LinkedIn will make some connection and invite my friends there to connect with Samantha. LinkedIn makes connections I do not understand... So basically I avoid this by keeping electronic accounts very separated.
Now, what would give me a problem is if I forgot and when shopping with my wife she decided to pop into a local Sephora... and a SA who has worked with me (I get help in guy and gal mode) starts asking how that color corrector or eye liner she recommended is working . There are a few who do remember, we are greater in number than in the past, but still small enough to remember well.

[LaurenS]

I use a separate iPad for Lauren. While I do occasionally send an email between femme and homme, that is it. Do shop and buy for Lauren on my man equipment, though. Everything else femme must be done on Lauren’s computer. And I use all the security I can on it.

[Teresa]

Carla,
At one time my wife had access to my only Email account when she had problems with her Hotmail account. I was OK with that until CDers.com sent me birthday wishes, I'd forgotten to tick all the box choices on my settings page .

Now I've changed the password and have a second account for Teresa , I still have to watch the selection choices for Email accounts when logging on to the computer as it brings up all Email names .

I do feel sometimes computers work in our wives favour , if they can expose you they will find a way no matter how much you think you've covered your tracks .

[donnalee]

Donnalee has her own email account, but when I changed email software, it sent an email that used my male name to a member here, causing me to have to correct it immediately. Whenever you are forced to use a new version of something due to an upgrade or software change it is imperative that you check this and test it to make sure it works. Luckily this did not result in problems, but it easily could have and caused me considerable anxiety at the time.

[Sarah Doepner]

I have multiple accounts for email and facebook and try my best to keep them separate, but it doesn't always work. I try to use my phone as a phone, but there are numbers of TG friends there, but all without email or facebook links.

It's Facebook that wants to jump from one browser to another. About once a month I find either a family member or old friend suggested as a potential friend for Sarah or one of Sarah's friends as a suggestion for the guy. I'm not sure where that's coming from but I'm concerned enough that I've changed my FB profile photo for Sarah to something that is less identifiable should she show up as a suggestion on an unsuspecting family or friends page.

Since I'm partially out and moving more in that direction I'm looking at the technology as still worth more than the potential risk of being outed unexpectedly. I'm attempting to be more honest but I'd prefer to pace myself rather than have FB or Google or Amazon do it for me.

[Kayliedaskope]

Lauren has the right idea. Use a separate iPad or tablet for your girly stuff, password the hell out of it, don't send emails/texts/photos back and forth between your femme and dude selves, do NOT "friend" yourself on ANYTHING ..... and for Goddess' sake, get those pictures off your phones!!

[kimdl93]

I don’t have a Facebook account out of concern that somehow they would connect dots that I would prefer to remain separate.

[Jaymees22]

Thank god my wife is a Luddite. I try to be careful but there always seems to be some crossover between my real self and my other self. Which one is which I'm not sure.

[tifftg]

I am like Lauren. Tiffany has her own mini iPad, email and Facebook account. Photos are only on the mini iPad or in my separate Flickr account. years ago I accidentally sent a makeover photo to my nephew thinking the attachment was something else, that's what moved me to having separate devices. I told him that was what happens when you drink a little too much and take a dare. I asked him to delete the photo and it has never popped up again, still lingers in the back of my mind.

[CarlaWestin]

Aside from the one incident, it's been easy to keep things fairly separate. But, Carla doesn't have a Facebook account.