Hi all.
My wife has been able to accept some aspects of my crossdressing, sometimes, since I told her about 2 years ago.
But not any more.
I've being dressing secretly some times without telling her but then sometimes I tell her(after the fact) that I dressed up in her dress one night or another. She asked how it made me feel I said "I felt nice/comfortable"...she now doesn't know where this is all going and she claims that I know. & To be honest - I don't!
When I dress up it's always only for a very short time I'm our house when she's out. Never more than an hour.
I feel good when I'm dressed up but it's always rushed and have never been fully made up or dressed up.
It's normally panties, tights, bra(stuffed with socks) & any dress or outfit that is handy. So, no wig, no high heels(or even low heels) sometimes I might chance my arm at doing makeup but that's rare because of the time constraints and my lack of ability to do it properly. I mentioned socks - I would love my own breasts obviously but even breast form.
Anyway, she wants me to come clean with her to be honest with her & also with myself and so I have a day or two to sort this out once and for all.
I haven't been much of a husband or even a friend to her lately and I've made some stupid mistakes in the past which I get reminded of nearly every argument we have.
I've been to therapy last year but it didn't last - the therapist said I wasn't doing anything wrong (more or less) and was more concerned about my wife hitting me on occasion.
So, what to do?
*Do I tell her I will refrain from using her clothes and get my own? I mentioned this option recently to a negative response.
*Do I tell her I won't do it again? Tried that too - hasn't worked yet.
*Do I tell her I want to get a wig & heels & makeup lessons? I've hinted at all three.
*Do I tell her that I love her and don't want to lose her or the kids and beg her to accept me ad all my issues?
I under dress nearly everyday even at work - meaning I wear tights, panties & sometimes have my toenails painted.
These are some of the things she has partially & unwillingly accepted but wonders what will creep in next to being accepted as the norm for me.
I am yet again desperate, lost & confused.
I want to be able to crossdress in my own home but would have a big fear of going out in public, although I wish I could - thanks society for that one!
I live in a small minded small town where everyone knows everyone so even someone passing the house scares me or did the neighbour see me that time or whatever.
I'm not 100% sure what she expects me to say in order to save the marriage - but she wants me to be honest - so in my opinion it will end in divorce as she can't deal with all my crap & seemingly I can't change.
Help appreciated