Intro & question - couples and games

[Carolyn]

First of all, I've been lurking here for a while now and have enjoyed the site a lot. I like how you keep the trash away and keep the site nice and clean.

I live just North of Phoenix, am 49 and have been cross dressing regularly since my late 30's. Before that, it was just a now and then thing until I decided to tell my girlfriends about my naughty side. Low and behold, two of them found it fun so I got to dress up more often.

I have since been married for going on twenty years soon. My wife not only knows about it but lets me enjoy myself with her on a fairly regular basis. My wife is very miinded and 'ok' with my fetish, meaning, she is not in love with it nor encourages it but does buy me fun things and plays with me.

The reason I wanted to post is because while my wife is happy to play with me, she is getting a little bored of it and calling it 'same old' more and more often now. I try hard to keep things fun and fresh and wondered what others do, those who have wives that are ok with this as a now and then thing.

I have been searching the Internet a lot, trying to find games that couples like us could play, things to do, how I might be able to keep things fun and fresh. She isn't at the point of complaining but I'd like to be good to her about being good with me.

I do not know if this is the best place to ask this but it seems like the *only* place to ask this .
Please, feel free to share your experiences, ideas, suggestions, here, or even in pm.

Thank you kindly to everyone.

[Micki_Finn]

You could start by asking your wife what SHE wants. That’s probably going to be your best clue. Quite frankly we’re strangers and don’t know what “does it” for your wife. You’re the only one who can answer that question, and if you can’t, you’ve got bigger problems.

[Joni T]

Maybe she'd like to see a little more of the MAN she married.

[Jaylyn]

What Joni said, if she is just putting up with your dressing and your the only one appreciating it then you need to reciprocate with what you can do for her. I get from your story that you are a very self oriented and I suggest what Joni said start being a man also and you'd be surprised what might start happening.

[Carolyn]

You could start by asking your wife what SHE wants. That’s probably going to be your best clue. Quite frankly we’re strangers and don’t know what “does it” for your wife. You’re the only one who can answer that question, and if you can’t, you’ve got bigger problems.

Ouch. Well, in fact, there is no lack of communications, this is why I know very specifically what she has expressed as explained in my post .
Also, I introduced myself then explained why I decided to join including information about myself and what my wife and I had communicated.

We have no problems what so ever, we have a beautiful relationship, very in love. We have our little things that we do but I would like to make this more interesting for her and was asking about game ideas, things that couples like us could do with this at home.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

My god, please, try being positive. There is nothing negative about what I've posted. Why in the world would you suggest that I am selfish? That is so odd. I am nothing of the sort and our relationship is not in any way hurting. I am her man all the time expect when we play together which is three or four times a month at most. I never pressure her, she never feels pressured.

Maybe this site is meaner than nice and I misread what I've seen all this time. Wow.

[Littleg2]

Hi Carolyn,

First of all, welcome to the site and thank you for sharing.

I hope by your second post you won't get scared away. This is a great site with a lot of supportive people and you will always get varying, honest, opinions. I am a GG and thought I'd give my take; It can be hard to write a post and not have something misconstrued, people will always read posts and give their own opinion. You learn to expect a certain type of response from certain people, I wouldn't take it personally, just the girls here trying to be straight forward and call it how they see it, from their perspective.

To give a suggestion for a "game", I once sent my lovely CD'er a message suggesting we should have a no-responsibility day. It was on the weekend, neither of us were working or had our kids, so we just had some fun together. We ended up calling it our "No Judgement Day". I made up three rules;

Rule #1 - I didn't judge the things s/he did, expecting the same courtesy in return.

Rule #2 - We had to give each other 3 commands in the 24 hour period, and the other can't say "No" (Keeping in mind #1 from above). But, his had to be from his masc side and mine had to be to *her* fem side.

Rule #3 - We each had to bring 2 *items or toys* for the day. Sky's the limit. And again, keeping in mind #1.

This was mainly centered around *fun* and bedroom activities, but it morphed, as all things do, and we both really enjoyed it and each other.

I hope you get some more suggestions, I'd like to see some, too.

Cheers!
-g

[Kayliedaskope]

Hi, Carolyn -

First things first: welcome to the forum. Straitjackets are on the right, the BDSM toys are on the left, the rubber-padded rooms are at the end of the hall, and keep your hands off Pat's crayons. (Yes, we're all mad here .....)


Okay .... games. Sounds like you and her have a really good relationship so far: you love each other, she accepts the 'Carolyn' side of you, even buys her things. (You lucky dog ... ). How to spice things up, or else more playful .... Not sure how passable you are, or not passable, but you could always take a drive in the evening sometime while dressed. Stop somewhere, walk around the car to change drivers, or go pump some gas in your skirt and heels. (If you're really daring, make it a short skirt.) Maybe flash some thigh and the top of a stocking at a trucker?

Phone games could include a mirror selfie showing you have your pretty things on under your boring clothes while at work, or while out and about. Ever open up your lunchbox at work and found some sexy panties and a note saying she wants to see a picture of you in them? Maybe a girls night out shopping for clothes, with a nice dinner afterwards ... Most of all, most important: have fun!

Mind you, these are not have-to's, just ideas off the top of my head. It sounds like the playfulness is there already, you may just be having a little trouble on getting the creative juices going.

[docrobbysherry]

Carolyn, please don't be offended. But, if you've monitored this site as u say u have, u should be aware that many dressers have issues with their SO's. Many of us r either divorced, (me), or in difficult marriages. U shouldn't be surprised that your seemingly happy marriage elicits some sour grapes!

And, I can't help wondering why after 20 years of such a happy, communicative, partnership u and your SO can't come up with satisfactory bedroom games? My ex and I tried every dam thing under the sun and moon! But, after just 10 years, neither of us cared about sex with each other anymore!

[Carolyn]

Carolyn, please don't be offended. But, if you've monitored this site as u say u have, u should be aware that many dressers have issues with their SO's. Many of us r either divorced, (me), or in difficult marriages. U shouldn't be surprised that your seemingly happy marriage elicits some sour grapes!

And, I can't help wondering why after 20 years of such a happy, communicative, partnership u and your SO can't come up with satisfactory bedroom games? My ex and I tried every dam thing under the sun and moon! But, after just 10 years, neither of us cared about sex with each other anymore!

I haven't so much 'monitored' it as looked now and then and got sucked into threads. I'm sorry that your relationship is as it is and I didn't take that into account, that many might be soured about my healthy relationship.

I didn't come here to be in anyones face, I came here so I could communicate with other CDs, something I've never really gotten the opportunity to do.

In terms of games, fun, sex together, there is no problem, we are each others best friends and always find plenty of things to be entertained by, always including each other. It's the cross dressing that we don't know what to do with, only that. I dress up, I cater to her, she shows off, we get turned on and eventually have sex. While these things are done in a variety of ways, I thought that if I reached out, I might come across other CD's who have new ideas to share, things we haven't tried.

I certainly do constantly ask her what she wants, even as we play with me dressed up but we simply don't have any new ideas. I don't want these times to get boring for her so thought I would ask around thinking that others must have experienced similar situations.

Thank you for the positive message, it's the first so far

[Jenny22]

Carolyn (a pretty name!), welcome to this forum of sisters who are on YOUR side. You are a lucky girl to have an understanding and supportive wife. Give her hug from all of us.

I reread all replies to your post and I never found one that said you were selfish. As has been said, none of us want to cause you hurt or concern, and at times what one means to say doesn't always come out the right way, so don't be too touchy.
We don't really know anything about you, personally. That might help us, should you wish to share more. Example: Kids at home? Do you use makeup? Have forms? Dress fully en femme when you dress? Ever under dress?
Micki_Finn suggested you ask your wife. That's sure a good start! You both might consider attending a Trans social group. Ideas of fun things to do could be in abundance.

[Teresa]

Carolyn,
Why does it have to be all fun and games ,why not just dress to be you ?

If I had this acceptance I would be living it to satisfy my own needs , if your wife chooses to join in that's great but if she finds it boring but doesn't mind the dressing maybe go and do your hobby or mow the lawn , you never know seeing you dressed but preoccupied with other things may just turn her on to some fun and games .

[Carolyn]

Hi, Carolyn -

First things first: welcome to the forum. Straitjackets are on the right, the BDSM toys are on the left, the rubber-padded rooms are at the end of the hall, and keep your hands off Pat's crayons. (Yes, we're all mad here .....)

***Snip***

Mind you, these are not have-to's, just ideas off the top of my head. It sounds like the playfulness is there already, you may just be having a little trouble on getting the creative juices going.

Thank you for the welcome, another nice message. Maybe I don't need to run away after all. I signed up here thinking that it might be the one single place where I could communicate frankly with anyone. I didn't consider that some might have had problems with this. My wife and I have also known a few TGs and understand how difficult it is to become who you really are and how everything is against you. We understand these things and appreciate them.

In fact, my wife's ex became transgender which makes it amazing that she is willing to have this fun with me. He ruined their lives in many ways, not by becoming a woman by how he used her to do so. Long story that really isn't mine to share. Suffice it to say that she has a tiny little dislike about my CDing but is such a wonderful person that she has grown to understand that I will not be doing anything but CDing.

No, I don't pass and in fact, I go for an androgynous look if you will because of that. Like all CDs, I had my moments wanting to pass so badly but eventually came to terms with the fact that it will never happen. Just like someone craving to be who they really are, I too wish I could look beautiful as many of you do on this site but sadly never will. Therefore, I enjoy dressing up knowing that it is a fetish, a kink, something I can enjoy now and then and very lucky to have a wife that lets me do so.

In answer to your suggestions, we've done some of those things . I've dressed up at my warehouse office then drove home and into my garage. I've picked up my wife in town while dressed up and have dropped off video rentals. We've driven in the country and I got to get out and wander around. The highlight of my CD life was when we owned a huge property and I could dress all day, walk around outside, go get the mail at the end of our very long driveway and generally enjoy being dressed all day and night if I wanted. Now we have a nice home in a neighborhood and I can go outside but only on our porch mainly.

In terms of games, I just want to make this fun for her. While she is already playful about it, and I always encourage what ever she wants to do when we play, I'd like to find new ideas to bring to the table, mostly for her to enjoy.

Thank you again for the nice welcome.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Carolyn,
Why does it have to be all fun and games ,why not just dress to be you ?

If I had this acceptance I would be living it to satisfy my own needs , if your wife chooses to join in that's great but if she finds it boring but doesn't mind the dressing maybe go and do your hobby or mow the lawn , you never know seeing you dressed but preoccupied with other things may just turn her on to some fun and games .

Hi, I do get to enjoy myself, as much as I want to but I know she loves her man so I am mostly always her man. I do not bother her or pressure her about this because that would not be fair. I love how easy going she is about it, even letting me know before she comes home in case I'm dressed and want to undress. I am very much not wanting to overwhelm her with this.

Thanks for your input.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

Carolyn (a pretty name!), welcome to this forum of sisters who are on YOUR side. You are a lucky girl to have an understanding and supportive wife. Give her hug from all of us.

I reread all replies to your post and I never found one that said you were selfish. As has been said, none of us want to cause you hurt or concern, and at times what one means to say doesn't always come out the right way, so don't be too touchy.
We don't really know anything about you, personally. That might help us, should you wish to share more. Example: Kids at home? Do you use makeup? Have forms? Dress fully en femme when you dress? Ever under dress?
Micki_Finn suggested you ask your wife. That's sure a good start! You both might consider attending a Trans social group. Ideas of fun things to do could be in abundance.

Thank you for the welcome. I didn't think I was being overly touchy but that the replies were rather odd, assumptions made without cause. Anyhow, I'm thick skinned, I can see there are plenty of good people here so have been sharing as I reply.

No kids, used to use makeup, no forms. She doesn't like makeup on me anymore and I respect her wishes. What is under dress? Is that like wearing only panties for example? We did attend a group when we lived in the city but now we live in a small town and in no way want anyone to know our secrets so really have no outlets. We could head to Phx but I've only looked once for a group and it felt as if everyone knew each other so well that we would not fit in.

I've also reached out on craigslist to see if I could find other Cds locally whom I could communicate with but CL is nothing but head games.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

>First of all, welcome to the site and thank you for sharing.
>I hope by your second post you won't get scared away. This is a great site with a lot of supportive people and you will always

I have been around forums for a very long time and do expect that. But to be honest, I didn't expect it here. Being 'different' isn't easy and you often have to try and explain why you have a fetish or kink to someone who doesn't have the same kink or any. I figured my first post was completely honest and would be appreciated as such. I simply didn't expect the negativity but it no longer matters, the replies have been wonderful since and I appreciate that.

I love your idea and I think I'll suggest it! I too would love to read more ideas.

[Michaelasfun]

Hi, Carolyn -

First things first: welcome to the forum. Straitjackets are on the right, the BDSM toys are on the left, the rubber-padded rooms are at the end of the hall.......

Wait, how was it that I missed all that?!

[giuseppina]

I think the first few posts came down on you a little too hard, Carolyn.

An internet search will provide plenty of ideas. You may have to turn off safe searching to get much of anything.

Welcome to the forum.

[Carolyn]

I think the first few posts came down on you a little too hard, Carolyn.

An internet search will provide plenty of ideas. You may have to turn off safe searching to get much of anything.

Welcome to the forum.

I have I have, it's why I'm here

[Dana44]

Welcome to the forum Caroline. Games, try Black card revoked, girls night out. It is a card game. Look it up.

[Micki_Finn]

Wow so apparently you were really offended by what I wrote. Well it wasn’t meant as an attack, but I’m also not going to help you by coddling you and telling you what you want to hear. I certainly never used the word “selfish”.

[JustJoni]

Hello Carolyn, and welcome

Hmmm...a shame about some of those earlier comments. I have found, no matter what your pursuit might be, there is always a subset of those that also follow your pursuit, who feel it is their responsibility to rain on your parade. I saw it in the SCA, on the car show circuit, the art world, the gaming-design world, etc. Just let their rain slide off you.

Now, with that unpleasantness over, down to your question (which is far more pleasant than the rain)!! What comes to mind first is role-playing. Not that either of you need to be true actors, much of your role-play can simply be the outfits you wear. The internet abounds with loads of costumes in a plethora of sizes. Cops, maids, cheerleaders, super heroines, villains, the list is truly endless. Even without true costuming, some particular choices of clothing can produce the desired effect.

I hope this helps (or at least spurs some ideas).

And again, welcome aboard!!

[greeneyes]

Welcome Carolyn! As my SO (JustJoni) said...don't let the negativity get you down. Games...games can be fun. May I suggest....writing erotic emails to each other and then acting them out. This allows her to "write the script" so to speak. This can give her the creative freedom to tell you what she desires rather than having to actually tell you. This also gives her the chance to dress you as she wishes, maybe that would be fun for her. Think outside the box...she may have some fantasy she would like to share with you but is a little timid to do so, give her a way to share that she will feel comfortable with. Anyway..just think about what she likes and go from there. I wish you both the best!!!

[Carolyn]

I wanted to reiterate the thank you for the welcomes and the ideas. Seems it won't be so easy to find those new game ideas but it's been a challenge for a while anyhow.

I do have some other things I would have liked to share on this site but I'm a little apprehensive about posting questions now to be honest. Not because I don't have thick skin but because of how even being simply honest can be misunderstood... by some .

[LeannS]

Carolyn
You always get those who will take things wrong and it is a learning curve
Keep a thick skin as it is a fun group of people with wide opinions

oh and welcome
Leann

[Beverley Sims]

Welcome totheforum and no, it doesn't have to all be fun and games.

Go out and take photos, post them in the photo section....

The good ones of course.

Go to the movies together, shopping for lingerie, that's fun, even a walk around the sights and attractions of a town or city.....Far away. :-)

[Sometimes Steffi]

So, you and your wife want to do something different. That's kind of hard to answer, since I don't know what you're doing now, but I'll throw out some ideas.

1. Paint each other's nails. painter gets to pick the colors.
2. Get a makeover together. You could go to some regular place (MAC, Sephora, Ulta), find someone who specializes in CD/TG makeup or hire someone to come to your house.
3. Go to a TG conference, like Keystone.

http://www.keystone-conference.org/

All kinds of things to to there, but a great place to meet others like you. Way better than craigslist. There's always a lot of couples there. There's also a listing of other TG conferences. One might be nearer to you.

PM me if you want more info

[Kayliedaskope]

Wait, how was it that I missed all that?!

You missed the writing on the wall, Michaela. Don't worry, it was easy to do - you were too busy admiring yourself in the mirror, is all.

[Michaelasfun]

You missed the writing on the wall, Michaela. Don't worry, it was easy to do - you were too busy admiring yourself in the mirror, is all.

Yea I keep hoping that one day I will look and see that I am actually passable lol