Is CD an addiction that can be subdue or not ?

[Rayleen]

CD has nothing wrong, but can it be subdue if you need to stop.

[Vikky]

Not in my case. Maybe a week or two, more usually a day or two, but the 'need' some comes around again.
Vikky

[Jayne44C]

I don't consider myself an addict. I can and have stopped dressing for long periods, up to a year at times. Some unfortunately be that. Addiction is the inability to stop a behavior that has taken over your life in an unhealthy way. I believe a lot of people say we're all addicts and I would argue against that. I want to say more but am not sure if I can explain further without getting my blood pressure up. It's the stereotyping that others place on us, like the addict label I find upsetting.

[Maria 60]

It seems like it's in our blood, I quit smoking 10 plus years ago and still once in a while I still get the urge. In the past when I had to stop dressing for whatever reason it wasn't easy and when the urges came I would have those urges for weeks and they wouldn't subsid until I dressed.

[broadshoulderedbroad]

i think it's useful to make the distinction between compulsion/obsession and addiction.

compulsion: irresistible desire to behave a certain way, especially against one's conscious wishes.

obsession: an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.

addicted: physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance [or behavior], and unable to stop taking [or doing] it without incurring adverse effects.

those are just plain English definitions, btw, not necessarily the clinical definitions.

imo, if cd is getting in the way of you living your life, then it's an addiction or at least problematic, regardless of what you label it as. examples would be if it were getting in the way of your relationships, affecting your finances, keeping you from enjoying the things you used to enjoy doing. basically if you say to yourself "i wish i could stop but can't and it's ruining my life," then yes, it's probably an addiction. if you don't want to stop and it's not adversely affecting your life, it may still be a compulsion/obsession, but not an addiction.

compulsive behavior and obsessive thoughts can also be problematic though. i have found that when i have to hide anything, i tend to obsess more and feel more compelled to do it bc i am restricted. sometimes coming out to a confidante can be liberating in that way.

i am obsessive more than compulsive, but being aware of it and checking in with myself often helps keep me balanced. it's also nice to have an understanding wife that knows when to let me go off the deep end and when to rein me in.

[Jaylyn]

I would say it can be subdued for only a while I before I have to indulge. It can hit you when your not expecting it to so many things triggers it in me. When my wife had her last birthday I went to an department store just to buy her a gift card there. I was waiting in line at the checkout to get the card. I looked over and they had their cosmetics counter close by. I could see all the lipsticks the mirrors and the makeup girl looked super good. Her lips were perfect in a red color lipstick. I new I had to get dressed that afternoon and sure enough I did. Red lipstick and some ladies clothes just gets my dressing juices flowing.

[Sabrina.K]

I don't think it can fully.

I've gone through waves of it through most of my life. But it has never fully gone away. I think it's in your DNA.

[sometimes_miss]

I can stop it but I will get irritable and short tempered in a short time due to the stress of suppressing the desire to crossdress. I was able to stop for about ten years when everything else in my life was going very well; but as soon as relationship problems arose, so did the desire to crossdress; eventually it became all I could think about, and I had trouble sleeping and having sex as well.

It's not an addiction. It's not OCD. And it doesn't respond to any currently known treatment as a permanent 'cure'.

[Pat]

Not really something that can be decided by opinion poll. It depends a lot on why you crossdress and to what your definition of "subdue" is. I found I could stop completely (and have never had the slightest desire to go back to it) by recognizing it was the male clothing that was "crossdressing" to me. YMMV.

[Krisi]

I don't believe crossdressing can be labelled as an "addiction" any more than golf or fishing.

As for crossdressing being "subdued" (I assume you mean can someone quit crossdressing if they want to), you are asking the wrong people. This is a crossdressing forum and crossdressers come here with the idea of meeting and sharing ideas with other crossdressers. People who have quit crossdressing are unlikely to be on this forum.

I would say a person who wants to quit can quit. A person who does not really want to quit will make up excuses.

[Judy-Somthing]

I haven't dressed or put on any girl clothes on in eight months since my wife said it would be the end of our marriage if she caught me.
Also I use to have a safe three hour window to dress on Saturdays when the wife was at work but since my son has moved home that's gone.

I'm looking forward to the next chance to dress but I need at least four hours and a new dress that fits just right!

I guess if the Pink Fog hits me again like it did two years ago I'll go out of my way for the opportunity to dress!
One thing I find good about not dressing is that I have much more time to do other things I enjoy!
Last year I spent at least fifteen hours a week on cross-dressing, shopping, dressing, etc.

[NancySue]

Definitely not for me. I ask myself, “why would I want to deliberately make my life miserable?” I realize there are many different circumstances, but with my supportive wife, my own things, I have the freedom to dress. Yes, I am fortunate and appreciate her totally.

[IleneD]

It's no more an addiction than is eating or breathing?
Being You just is.

[Donna June]

I've tried to stop, or subdue it many times and many ways, just can't. I like Ilene's way of putting it, it's being you. For me , it's just being me.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

for me it is a compulsion that controls my life

[CarlaWestin]

Having lived a lifetime of it, I can only logically conclude that it's just a natural passion.
I feel for those that fill the emptiness with golf, fishing, drinking, staring at the wall, etc..
Just try on a dress and stop over thinking it.
Life's too short.

[Cheryl T]

First of all I don't consider it an addiction.
It's as much a part of who I am as being right handed, or my eye and hair color. This was not something that I chose to do, like start smoking or drinking and the like. It's an integral part of who I am.

[DIANEF]

Well I'm not addicted to breathing, but I couldn't really live without it. I don't think I could ever stop dressing, not that I would want to.

[Ressie]

For some it's an addiction. And any addiction can be beat if the desire and will are strong enough. I think I'm addicted to the endorphins or other hormones associated with CDing, and many CDs are in the same boat. I'm referring to fetish crossdressing and you'll have to decide whether or not it's a fetish for you. The sexual charge for Fetish dressers is kind of like crack cocaine IMO. Extremely addicting because it's physical!

Giving up CDing is probably easier for non-fetish dressers.

[lmildcd]

I think CD as an addiction is debatable. I haven't worn anything in a while due to financial reasons, need some new stuff, or don't have the right clothes for the season. I like wearing long sleeves in the winter.

I don't know if I'm addicted or not since I go months without wearing anything femme. I usually wear panties when I'm out of regular underwear.

[Tina_gm]

I don't have what many describe as the feelings of it building up over time if I haven't. I can feel very little desire to if it's been a month and a strong desire to even if I am dressing on a daily basis. I dress mostly as time permits me to. Occasionally though there are just times when I still won't have much of an urge to even if time does allow for it and I have been quite busy which is frequent for me, I tend to have a somewhat busy life, although I can if I try hard enough find at least a little bit of time most days. These days I would rather spend more time then less in a given time, by that I mean I would rather spend one full day as opposed to a little everyday, but sometimes its just the way it goes that it is a little bit daily. Even then though, there are times even when I have had a lot going on and haven't had any time and then get time, but then the urge isn't there. I can't likely offer you much advise other than one thing

Stay busy, stay focused on something if time is what you are dealing with and a lack thereof or for whatever reason there is for you to have it subdued. It doesn't make it go away, but subdues it as you are asking, at least for me.

[Beverley Sims]

I thought this was the question we are all seeking the answer to.

That is what this forum is here for isn't it? :-)

Rayleen,
When you get the answer let us all know.

[Taylor186]

Can you stop crossdressing "if you need to stop"? Certainly you can stop physically crossdressing if the need to stop is strong enough. But to stop the desire to crossdress or to stop thinking about crossdressing is not so easy. At least for the kind of crossdresser I am. I've gone long periods without physically crossdressing but I have never actually stopped thinking about it for any length of time. Nor, have I felt the need as thinking about it doesn't effect the rest of my life. For me today, the ability to underdress and stealth dress helps curb my desire to fully dress. Many other coping mechanisms are available. You just need to find the one(s) that is(are) right for you, if that is what you are looking for.

[Piora]

I once stopped for 6 years. But, I assure you, the desire....the need, in my case, never really goes away. After my separation, while under a lot of duress, I purged every single female item I owned. Afterward, I was financially hurting for most of those years, so I couldn't afford to buy anything. With some willpower, I concentrated on getting through those years, and with considerable effort, stopped thinking about dressing. Put it out of my mind. Well, as much as was possible. Years later, when I landed back on my feet again, I came back at it like an out-of-control locomotive. That was 9 years ago. These days, I only get to dress on weekends.

You can stop for days, weeks, months.....years. But it never really ever goes away.

[Pat]

We do have to be careful that "addiction" has a medical definition as well as a colloquial one. In medical terms, crossdressers do not have an addiction. Colloquially we talk about being "addicted" to things when we just mean it's a behavior we repeat voluntarily. For folks who are transgender it's an expression of identity and so not an addiction in either sense of the word. There are crossdressers who say the are not transgender so I assume they're the latter behavior -- voluntary repetition. Perhaps they can stop when they feel like it.

In terms of "subduing" the behavior -- you can do a lot by force of will. For example, folks who take a vow of silence "subdue" the very human need to communicate vocally. I suppose you could decide that you'll stop using your left hand if you wanted to. But subdual is by it's nature the suppression of something. It doesn't sound healthy to "subdue" a legitimate urge to do a harmless activity and I think there's a bookshelf full of psychological studies that say it is, in fact, harmful.