Kept a diary, starting ...November 8th.
Phoned a gender therapist, found her from a search of the local area.
After playing telephone tag for 2 days, She contacted me . We talked for 15 minutes deciding if we were a match and if She could help me.
She was the first person besides my wife to call me by my Fem name "Samantha" it felt so comfortable talking to her,She asked me questions deciding if She could help me, She had no idea I had already made my mind up.
I told her I liked her website and face from the pic on it. "I hoped I didnt sound weird telling her that".
I asked her if it was ok to dress for the session. I didnt know if it was in good form to address gender issues and go out in public all in one showing. She cautioned me that it was a busy area, but told me She had clients that did dress.
A date for December 7th was made.
I have never been out in public before, not unless you count car rides, all of this became an opportunity because of good fortune to occupy an apartment in the City for a few days in December(I live in deep in the Suburbs).
I feel it's a now or never moment in my life.
I must have read Julie's thread about "Going out and Passing", at least 20 times since then, to say it impacted me would be an understatement.
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...t-and-Passing&
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...Today...December 7th.
This is a day of firsts, first day out as my true self, and first appointment with a therapist.
Days before the call and up to today, I obsessed over what I would wear, what hair style to have and what my makeup would be.
Every scenario played in my head.....Exiting the apartment,Walking the hallway, Elevator ride, entering the lobby, walking to the street for the Taxi, giving the address to the driver with my male voice, how do I pay, getting out of the car and entering her office... I have thought about it over and over.......
Im beyond scared, scared of being out and scared of where this will lead.
Wish me luck girls, I respect all of you and have enjoyed reading all your life travels.
Going out now...
Samantha.