Success Stories...

[Lacy PJs]

It seems like most of the time when I read posts here, they are more about non-accepting wives/girlfriends. Why not share some success stories here? It will make some members jealous but will no doubt be uplifting and encouraging to others who just aren't sure of where they stand.

As I've stated here many times, I'm not a full-fledged crossdresser. For me, it's basically nightgowns, babydoll PJs, some lingerie, a leotard & tights once in a while and rarely, a dress or skirt & blouse. She's not too fond of the dress or skirt & blouse ensemble but is fine with everything else and from time to time, even lays something out for me to wear. She has commented on her favorite outfits on me and of course, I try my best to accommodate.

My SO has bought girly items for me but usually after she asks if it's something that I want. There have been times when she has passively given me the "go ahead" to get some things that I think I'd like but have yet to make the plunge. She has also altered some things for a better fit and has made it perfectly clear that she's OK with my occasional indulgences. I don't think she would be very encouraging if I wanted to be "out," but since that's not on my list, it's a non-issue.

After reading other posts here, I realize that I'm very lucky although I don't push the boundaries like some others do. I am indeed fortunate to have her in my life and consider myself a very fortunate person in so many ways.

Anyone else?

Lacy PJs

[Rowan Ailbhe]

My fiancee is a godess...Shops with me, teaches me, guides me..I could not be any luckier.

[Kelly DeWinter]

"Success stories" are nice to read because it's nice to hear about couples overcoming differences to make better lives for themselves. Even some of the members who have made a choice to try to live without TG/CD for their spouse is in it's way a success story for them as a couple.

It's also a wise to be sensitive towards members who may not be so fortunate. (I'm sure everyone is)

Jeannie has been great, I think our success as a couple has been due to honesty. It is kind of fun when we are out shopping and she will say something like "I'll bet Kelly would like this"

All in good fun.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes there are lots of success stories here, it does take time to make a success of it as you are finding.

There are always restrictions, you just have to work at it to get the right mix.

Me, I am slowly succeeding too, a chip off the old block here and pushing the boundaries there.

I do get around dressed most of the time with the wife as well.

It's a partnership. :-)

[Aunt Kelly]

I've shared about my wife's acceptance and support many times. Here's another...
Just two days ago, she came home with a big gallon jar full of costume jewelry, a thrift store find. As she was going through it looking for items to fit into craft projects, she pulled out several pieces that she thought I might like.
Yes, it's not always perfect and yes, she has always known about me.

[Jaylyn]

A partial success here. We started out like she was gonna set the CD in me on fire. I may have pushed it too fast but after four years she has stalled and pretends it doesn't happen. Thus a DADT but she still from time to time asks me what Jaylyn thinks about this or that. I try not push her into anything and have backed off even talking about it. She did ask me not long ago when she was buying some eyeliner if Jaylyn needed anything. Maybe we are just in a cool down period. I still call it a success.

[Diane Taylor]

The best success story is when you learn to accept yourself........

[suzanne]

Pretty good success, but not total. When I first came out to my wife, I thought she was unsupportive. Boy, was I wrong. Those were the days she would rather see me "dead than in a dress", as she later confided.

Years, and a few counselor sessions later, she is much more comfortable with me. If she likes my outfit, she says so. She now admits she thinks most of my outfits are nice. Woo hoo!

But there are limits. She doesn't want the neighbors to see me dressed, for fear that she will be faced with an "uncomfortable conversation". She also won't go anywhere with me while I'm dressed, and she doesn't shop for me. (That's ok. I shop enough for myself already!) But at home, I'm nearly always I a skirt, and I see the way she looks me up and down, then smiles. I dress to make me happy, not to seek her approval, but it is nicer when she gives it to me.

[Ariana225]

My wife has gone full acceptance after 8 months of knowing about my dressing as long as it's in the house. I'm like you where I underdress and wear nightgowns and pjs most of the time. I only do the wig, makeup, etc when she is not home, not because she doesn't want to see it, but because it takes time out our time together and I do that on my own free will for that reason. My wife is a young, accepting liberal, so I think that has played a role in her moving towards accepting me so quickly. Our relationship has grown stronger, and she would agree it has.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi Lacy. I'm very lucky. My wife indulges me from time to time in what we call our "fashion shows." Here are some representative pics:

[DaisyLawrence]

Hi Lacy.

I too have an accepting wife. I love her and would indulge any of her interetsts/needs and she does the same for me for the same reason. I truely believe that if you are married to the right person this is the ONLY way it can be. I was 'told off' on this site for saying that and it was pointed out that if my wife wanted to go out as a man I would not like that etc etc. This is not true of course. If she wanted to dress as a man I would support that since it would make her happy and NOTHING ELSE MATTERS in the end. I believe that if someone wants to control their partner and stop them doing something they want to do then they should marry someone else because life is too short to live like that. I am sure I'll get my head bitten off again for saying that but this may be a defensive response from those that are in denial about the real issue, i.e. did they marry the wrong person and are they now trapped? I do believe that most of the married people I know, not just crossdressers, are in a pointless marriage and are in denial about it. I've known people married for decades that would all walk away if they could turn back time but now believe they are stuck with the status quo and just make do. What a way to live your life.

Got carried away a bit there so back to your post. As I said my wife is supportive. She only needed to understand how happy my fem side makes me to accept it totally. As we explored it together she has realised that embracing this makes me a better person and that this makes her happier too so now she has become ultra-supportive. The other day she went out shopping and for lunch with Daisy and spent most of the time finding clothes she thought would look good on me. I was a magical time for me as it was all so natural. On the way home she admitted that she enjoyed it more than she would have done with my male self so we are doing it again next week. Oh happy days.

Sorry to those who have a less tolerant realationship with their SO but as Lacy says, please allow those that are happy to share the love and happiness with those who want to read about it.

Daisy x

[Isabella Ross]

I wanted to add to Daisy's point somewhat (but first, want to give props to Gretchen...your SO completely rocks and those are fantastic photos). Like Daisy and Gretchen, I'm fortunate to have a wife that completely supports me -- and actually does much more than tolerate me, she enjoys this aspect of me (completely). My point is that I see so many posters here tiptoeing around the issue of letting their SOs know who they truly are. How many have gone through life like this, without ever really attempting to see if they have an open-minded SO? My wife's complete acceptance actually forms the basis of one of my only regrets in life: that I didn't gather my resolve and tell her so much sooner. I know that not everyone will have the same acceptance levels, but really...how can you know if you haven't tried? Last point: threads like this are important. If they encourage just one person to find the resolve to move past this hurdle, they have done their job. Life is so much better when you're out of the shadows.

[DAVIDA]

I have known my wife, Jean for quite a while before we got married. One morning I was getting ready for work at her apartment and I didn't have any clean underwear. She handed me a pair of hers. When I asked her to marry me, I had to tell her the rest. I couldn't not tell her. It had to be her decision if she wanted to enter a lifetime with me and my crossdressing. I told her that I had worn panties and all of the other things. She had just one word to say, So?
That was over 27 years ago. She is the one who helped me come to grips with the way I am. She says that it is who I am and I wouldn't be the person she loves if I were any different.
Through the years, she has been out with me going to TRIESS meetings and Southern Comfort. There is no way I could have found a better partner in life than she is.

[DaisyLawrence]

There is no way I could have found a better partner in life than she is.

I'm really starting to like this thread!

[Isabella Ross]

Davida, fantastic...thanks for sharing.

[kayegirl]

My late wife knew and accepted my dressing, within certain bounds. Never with her clothes and never in front of the kids, we're the two main ones. Soon after I met my current wife, we were going away for a few days and mid journey, no preamble or anything She says to me, "How often do you crossdressers? ". I nearly crashed the car. But we had an open discussion, and she was fully aware before we married. She fully accepts, but without being pushy or over encouraging. Strangely with similar rules to my first wife, especially with regards to her clothes. We share a similar taste in nighties, but are careful not to wear matching colours. Most of my clothing comes from the female side of the shop, including jumpers, t shirts and trousers. She is happy to wash my femme undies, which is just as well, being that femme underwear is all that I have. We frequently go shopping together, but if I do look at male clothes, she leaves me to it.And YES, I do consider myself to be very fortunate with my Special Lady.

[alwayshave]

Lacy, Great thread. My fiancee is accepting, has bought me jewelry and gone out with me.

[CarlaWestin]

I was talking to a younger female friend at work a while ago. She's a real sweetie working on her graduate studies in psychology. We were talking about how people are just people and need to be accepted as their true selves. She mentioned that she had counseled people of non aligned gender and really felt for them. I looked right at her and said, "I'm transgender." I could feel the words come out of my mouth. She just looked at me and started to tear up. Tears of happiness. "I would have never known. Thank you for telling me." That was followed with the picture show from my phone with exclamations of disbelief at each image. "You're beautiful!" and "No way that's you. OMG, that is you!" After a long hug she said, "I will always be your friend."

That afternoon in the parking lot, I sat in my car and just let the tears flow. In the 50+ years I've known that I'm TG, that was the first time I had heard anyone tell me it's OK.

[Teri Ray]

Count me in the "Lucky" group.

My wife knows I am a crossdresser and is supportive. We have gone through several trials and ups and downs over my dressing but have finally found a good place to be. Been through DADT for several years. I learned, for my wife, DADT was not good. Hiding (but not really) and having secrets (she knows I dress but what does it mean to him?). We came through open confrontation that was not easy and honestly quite scary. But open and honest conversation opened the door to understanding and a measure of acceptance. We have agreed to boundaries that includes continued communication over her feelings and my dressing desires. We shop together and share many female things such as painting each others toes and nails. I buy clothes for her and she on occasion buys me things. Getting to where we are was not easy but I feel what we share is so much better that DADT.

I am very lucky and find being able to share this desire with my wife is wonderful and soooo much better than DADT. Open and honest communication over crossdressing is not easy but once we started, it lead to understanding for my wife rather than fear of the unknown. Our path to where we are, has been slow and steady and I believe we are both happier. I will say that infusing humor in our conversation has helped.

Thanks for hearing my success story. Best wishes to others, who share this crossdressing desire, in finding their own success story.

"Lucky Teri"

[JustJoni]

I also will count myself as on of the lucky success stories. I told my wife about this side of me before we were married, and although she has occasionally had some brief hesitations, she is not just supportive but enthusiastic. She is even a regularly contributing member of this forum (greeneyes)

I told her a few months before we were married. Oddly enough the subject came up not because she caught me, or found something ( I actually hadn't dressed at all for 21 years at that point), but because we both independently had dreams that week of me dressed femme, lol. She told me about her dream, and I told her about mine, and she asked if I had ever thought about actually doing something like that. As I had never shared this with any other partner (even my late first wife), I felt the stars had aligned to give me an opportunity to share...and I have not regretted it for an instant. She shops for me, and with me. We both have our own Sephora accounts, and I know her ebay and Amazon watch list has all sorts of things for me that she thinks I might want or like. She even bought me my first set of breast forms.

Having an encouraging, supportive, and engaging partner is a true treasure, one that I am lucky enough to have. My fervent hope is that every one of us may someday have the same experience.

[NancySue]

Great thread ! It is nice to read other positive, success stories. I count myself as one of the ones with an open minded, supportive wife. She gives me a lot of credit for my bravery and honesty. I told her of my dressing before we got married...expecting her to dash away. She didn’t. She already knew I had a “soft” side...female intuition. We talked a lot, read a lot and our relationship drew closer as this became one of our bonds. The best part is when she brings home “surprises”. I’m like a kid in a toy store. By now, I have a very complete wardrobe, makeup, shoes, wigs, forms, but she always finds things she thinks I’ll enjoy. She hasn’t missed yet. We both have a great sense of humor and will tease each other, especially how I can’t wait to put on what she can’t wait to take off....heels, hose, underwires, shapers, etc. yes, Life is good.

[Alice K]

Thanks. What wonderful, heartwarming stories.

Alice

[Elizabeth G]

I'm not sure this is a success story but then I suppose that depends on your definition of success. My wife learned of my crossdressing in a less than ideal manner. I was agonizing over when, how or even if I should tell her when she found something and my story came out. That was a little over a year ago and in that time we have gone from wondering if we would even stay married to somewhere in the tolerance-to-acceptance range. I keep my clothes in the closet, she has even borrowed a couple of my things, she makes time for me to dress and we have even done a little bit of shopping together (she really doesn't get my taste in shoes though )

I consider myself lucky so in my book it is a success. We are working or way slowly forward and I guess I'll see where it leads bit of you had told me late last year that last week my wife and I would be having a fun conversation about my skirts and dresses I would have thought you crazy!

[Isabella Ross]

Elizabeth, this absolutely is a success story...and I think it underscores my point. As time goes by, more and more SOs will get it. I wonder if you would still be wondering how and when to say something today, had the discovery not taken place.

[Gillian Gigs]

Success is found in my accepting wife. It is found in the help that comes while shopping, or when she is shopping and you find something for yourself also. Success comes when you find a new store to shop in and it then becomes her favorite store for clothes shopping. Success is wearing what you want, when you want, without any qualms coming from your wife. Success is found in a wife that is totally accepting and then remembering to be thankful for that acceptance.