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Thread: "when I'm dressed I'm striving to be the authentic me. "

  1. #1
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    "when I'm dressed I'm striving to be the authentic me. "

    "when I'm dressed I'm striving to be the authentic me. "

    This was posted in another thread. It doesn't matter who posted it, I see this and variations of this all the time ("the real me", etc.)

    So here is my question:

    What do you mean when you post this? The "real you" is a crossdresser? Or do you mean the real you is a woman? Or something else?

    I'm confused. Please explain what it means to you when you post this.
    Krisi

  2. #2
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Oh dear. You don't know what authentic means? You are authentic when you are doing those things which are correct for you and not doing things because you think you'll please another. For example, on this site, many people find a personal attraction to wearing women's clothing. When they do that, they feel authentic. When they switch back to male clothing they feel they are only doing it because they'll have some huge negative experience if they don't. You yourself often write about all the negative things that will happen if people crossdress in public, so I know you understand that part.

    Each person gets to make the call about what is authentic for them and they make the decision about the value in being authentic. Some never find the value to be high enough to offset the potential upset to their lives. Others find that the feeling of authenticity is more valuable than the potential upset. The strange thing is that everyone is right.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  3. #3
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    I think Pat is right. And at the same time, its confusing. CD or Woman or something else are certainly possible options for feeling that one is being authentic. That's all entirely personal.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. #4
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    So we can be authentic no matter which mode we are in? I don't feel authentic when I'm in girl mode. I'm a cd not an authentic GG, maybe there's a difference in the feelings one get but one can never be authentic unless they are posing as the sex they are born. Now I'm confused Krisi.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    To **me** authentic is the polar opposite of suppressed. Some of us live out lives bottled up due to family, work, social circumstances, our own self doubts. When I get the opportunity to exist , even for a small bit of time, as my female side, it is uplifting, gratifying, calm and freeing.

  6. #6
    Aspiring drama queen Isabella Ross's Avatar
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    Gretchen...yes. Exactly. It's quite simple, isn't it? Authenticity = allowing yourself to be everything you are.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I would say that the “real me” is a human being who isn’t concerned about labeling a person based on their genitalia and who enjoys expressing themself through clothing that is traditionally associated with a specific gender.

  8. #8
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    Most of my life I have strived to be a consistent authentic person in what ever situation I am in. This has been more of a challenge than I ever believed it would be, especially the consistent part. In facing the CDing side of my life I strive on be consistent and authentic also. As someone said,"allowing yourself to be everything you are" is the daily accepting of oneself, whether it bucks the system or not. True happiness is a state of the mind, it is not found in an action, or an article of apparel. Being true to yourself is the path that leads to happiness.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  9. #9
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Good post, Krisi. I read so many post that say they r trying to be authentic and/or "natural" also. Which begs the question:
    Where do u draw the line on what u believe to be authentic/natural dressing?

    Only a dress, unshaven beard, and man hair?
    Maybe a dress with makeup, a wig, and forms?
    Maybe those plus shaping gear, hip/butt pads and a female silicone suit?

    Since the authentic/natural line is different for everyone, why even use those words? Just be u. Dress the way u want and leave your claim of being authentic/natural out of it. Because your "authentic/natural" may be meaningless to the rest of us!
    Is that what you're getting at, Krisi? Or, am I off base?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  10. #10
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
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    I was born in 1955, at a very early age (5) I thought I should be a girl. As a teenager it was not a environment to transition, so you crossdressed the best you could. Authentic for me is a woman.

    But I'm a crossdresser / panties 24/7 and male cloths. Dress when I can, but panties 24/7 is my baby pacifier for me.

    The younger generation can transition at a young age now.

    At 62 years old would I have surgery = no I do not think so. Would I go full time maybe.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I feel the person we are trying to describe here is so diverse it defies description.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  12. #12
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    Since the authentic/natural line is different for everyone, why even use those words? Just be u. Dress the way u want and leave your claim of being authentic/natural out of it. Because your "authentic/natural" may be meaningless to the rest of us!
    Not sure in which way "Just be u" is different from someone saying they're being authentic, but if "I'm just being me" is easier for you to understand, then sure, go with that.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pat View Post
    . For example, on this site, many people find a personal attraction to wearing women's clothing. When they do that, they feel authentic. When they switch back to male clothing they feel they are only doing it because they'll have some huge negative experience if they don't.
    Every person is unique. Try to figure out where you stand on the spectrum coupled with the always present "why" will drive someone nuts. The highlighted statement has a qualifier, i.e. "many." Many does not mean "all." When I am attired as a male I feel as a male. I act totally with free will as a male. When I decide to dress and emulate a woman I really do not know the "why." I know I am not a woman. When I am attired as a man I do not think in terms of sexual identity. I am just rolling along doing whatever I need to do. When I am attired as a woman I do not think in terms of sexual identity. Either way I am not thinking as a woman or a man. I've given up trying to analyze myself. There is no need for me to see a shrink. The only time I did call a counselor and talk to her only on a telephone, it was because I was totally confused. You elders remember the days of the 1950's and 1960's when anything other than straight sexual identity was deemed a curse. Well, once you realize the issue is non conformity and not something inherently defective, you should just give up trying to explain yourself.

    My authenticity is I am a person who for some unknown reason feels comfortable wearing women's clothing. That the end game for me. I do not want to be a woman. I do not want to be a man. My identity is not based upon the appendage hanging between my legs. I suspect my thinking is way ahead of society's thinking.

  14. #14
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    I'm always the real me even when I'm a complete fake.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    We are individual, we are all different but in the end we are who we want to be, authentic? isn't that somehow coupled with passing and being accepted? I wonder. Deep down it is how we feel and if we feel natural and comfortable en femme then surely that is where authenticity comes together coupled with the feeling of contentment and being comfortable in how each and every one of us portrays ourselves, and the confidence we have for those of us that are able to go out and not get the feeling of being noticed for whatever reason.Personal feelings and ways of life are all precious to us in each and every way. i am perfectly happy being what I am and so many people round me know that I dress and does that bother them? no way they just accept me for what I am so does that make me authentic? yes in a way it does
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  16. #16
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    krisi,
    I feel you ask this question on the basis of your personal situation saying you are just a crossdresser nothing more than that you have a certain level of dressing but are content to return to male mode I'm also assuming you don't have GD. Whatever your trigger is it's possibly different to the people who say when they dress they feel authentic. Some come to that decision quickly and some look back and find it's taken most of their lifetime , in retrospect I know I was born with this trait , the dressing is literally that, a dressing or coating to show the World what my inner needs and feelings are.

    To dress for me feels complete or in your words authentic, finally comfortable in my own skin. when I separate from my wife and move into my own home I hope very much that will finally happen for me in a permanent way. Being authentic to me will be a social transition , I'm sure like most there will be a to and fro compromise .

    Will I be a real woman NO ! it can never happen , look at this way , to me to be a crossdresser is a window to the female part of me, it's the only way I satisfy my inner feelings and relate them to the outside World that's when it becomes authentic or natural if you prefer .

  17. #17
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    ‘Authentic’ is not something that I have posted but I can see where you are coming from. What I am doing right now, sitting on the sofa, in front of an open fire, enjoying a glass of red wine with the wife, (me) wearing a red skirt and black top, is exactly how I want to be. Yes, it's strange to me, this not only never ending, but also never diminishing desire to wear women's clothes. And yes, it is even stranger to society as a whole, that we, who are born as men, should want to express in some way, however small or however large, that we have some part of us that is, in some way, feminine, female, or ever so slightly off the (societal norm) straight and narrow. (yes, there area lot of caveats there). But, in my case, and I can only talk about me, I need to express this, if to no one else, then to me. Is that me being authentic? No, it's me being me. But, if that suits your meaning of the word authentic, then that's fine too. As Pat said, everyone is right, and nobody is wrong.

  18. #18
    California Dreamin Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    Sounds like something I would post (maybe I already have LOL)...
    I was born a genetic male and grew up liking the traditional "guy" stuff, and reveled in expressing what I thought was gender appropriate; however with age, I discovered this realm where I could express what I perceive as my "real" self, more in touch with my emotions rather than doing the "macho" thing and denying any feelings that weren't appropo for a male to express outwardly, or wearing pretty, colorful clothes that again weren't male-centric by normal standards. I suppose I could find solace in expressing all these things in drab clothes, but it just seems validating to do it representing as a woman. As Beverley expressed, maybe it does defy description.
    Michaela


    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush

  19. #19
    Member JerseyGirlDonna's Avatar
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    I only feel authentic and true to myself when I present as Donna. Family circumstances of my own choosing prevent me from being true to myself all the time. I feel that I'm crossdressing whenever I dress as a male.

  20. #20
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    I agree with Doc. What's the point of saying "I just want to be me" and its variations? I read Krisi's post as don't just say you want to be your authentic self,explain it, so the readers know what that means to you. Otherwise, only you know what you mean.
    I've never said those words (...be the authentic me...), assuming it was understood. But here it is: I'm a guy who likes being a guy, and I like to crossdress at times for pleasure. When dressed, I still identify as a guy. I don't wish it to be another way.

  21. #21
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    For me now I have realized that dressing feminine yes is the real me, when I do have dress en drab now I truly feel like it’s
    not really my true self and that I’m cross drsssing into a guy

  22. #22
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    As a dear TS, named Holly, told me , your identity should not be determined by your genitalia! I am comfortable being both and neither! I am just me! Hugs Lana Mae Defined by another as just a crossdresser with some GD! Whatever!
    Last edited by Lana Mae; 12-08-2017 at 04:21 PM.
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  23. #23
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilSissyStevie View Post
    I'm always the real me even when I'm a complete fake.
    OMG, Stevie! That describes Sherry and me perfectly! May I use your post!?

    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    ------------------------------- here it is: I'm a guy who likes being a guy, and I like to crossdress at times for pleasure. When dressed, I still identify as a guy. ---------------------
    And, so does this, Nicole!
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 12-09-2017 at 02:42 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  24. #24
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I'm authentic when I'm basically a man in a dress. I behave as a male. I speak as a male. I think, see the world, and experience it as a male. Yet, I'm stuck with the underlying feeling that I'm supposed to be a girl, and feel generally uncomfortable when wearing men's clothing, and only feel normal when I'm getting visual, olfactory, and tactile feedback which indicates to me that I am female.
    Other people will think I'm nuts.
    I understand.
    But you gotta do whatcha gotta do, to get by in life, with as little irritation as possible. For me, that means spending as much time as possible, feeling as if I'm a girl.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    I'm not a guy or a gal or a human. I'm an angel who looks like a girl.
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

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