"when I'm dressed I'm striving to be the authentic me. "

[Krisi]

"when I'm dressed I'm striving to be the authentic me. "

This was posted in another thread. It doesn't matter who posted it, I see this and variations of this all the time ("the real me", etc.)

So here is my question:

What do you mean when you post this? The "real you" is a crossdresser? Or do you mean the real you is a woman? Or something else?

I'm confused. Please explain what it means to you when you post this.

[Pat]

Oh dear. You don't know what authentic means? You are authentic when you are doing those things which are correct for you and not doing things because you think you'll please another. For example, on this site, many people find a personal attraction to wearing women's clothing. When they do that, they feel authentic. When they switch back to male clothing they feel they are only doing it because they'll have some huge negative experience if they don't. You yourself often write about all the negative things that will happen if people crossdress in public, so I know you understand that part.

Each person gets to make the call about what is authentic for them and they make the decision about the value in being authentic. Some never find the value to be high enough to offset the potential upset to their lives. Others find that the feeling of authenticity is more valuable than the potential upset. The strange thing is that everyone is right.

[kimdl93]

I think Pat is right. And at the same time, its confusing. CD or Woman or something else are certainly possible options for feeling that one is being authentic. That's all entirely personal.

[GretchenJ]

To **me** authentic is the polar opposite of suppressed. Some of us live out lives bottled up due to family, work, social circumstances, our own self doubts. When I get the opportunity to exist , even for a small bit of time, as my female side, it is uplifting, gratifying, calm and freeing.

[Isabella Ross]

Gretchen...yes. Exactly. It's quite simple, isn't it? Authenticity = allowing yourself to be everything you are.

[Micki_Finn]

I would say that the “real me” is a human being who isn’t concerned about labeling a person based on their genitalia and who enjoys expressing themself through clothing that is traditionally associated with a specific gender.

[Rebecca W.]

Dear Gretchen,

Your quote sums up how I feel when my feminine side is not suppressed.

To **me** authentic is the polar opposite of suppressed. Some of us live out lives bottled up due to family, work, social circumstances, our own self doubts. When I get the opportunity to exist , even for a small bit of time, as my female side, it is uplifting, gratifying, calm and freeing.

[Vintage4sarah]

Gretchen and Rebecca, I feel that what you have said also truly reveals what I think and feel. When those moments, days or weekends happen I get pleasantly lost into the the authentic person that I am.

[abby054]

CD. Stana says it best in her post on her website today. I am not a woman. I have no intention or desire to be a woman. But as a CD, I can and do act like a woman, schoolyard bullies notwithstanding, as Stana noted. I can and do play like a girl. My sister enjoyed having such a playmate. I can and do dress as a woman part time, though that developed somewhat later. I enjoy all this, but I am not a woman nor do I want to be one.

[Stephanie47]

. For example, on this site, many people find a personal attraction to wearing women's clothing. When they do that, they feel authentic. When they switch back to male clothing they feel they are only doing it because they'll have some huge negative experience if they don't.

Every person is unique. Try to figure out where you stand on the spectrum coupled with the always present "why" will drive someone nuts. The highlighted statement has a qualifier, i.e. "many." Many does not mean "all." When I am attired as a male I feel as a male. I act totally with free will as a male. When I decide to dress and emulate a woman I really do not know the "why." I know I am not a woman. When I am attired as a man I do not think in terms of sexual identity. I am just rolling along doing whatever I need to do. When I am attired as a woman I do not think in terms of sexual identity. Either way I am not thinking as a woman or a man. I've given up trying to analyze myself. There is no need for me to see a shrink. The only time I did call a counselor and talk to her only on a telephone, it was because I was totally confused. You elders remember the days of the 1950's and 1960's when anything other than straight sexual identity was deemed a curse. Well, once you realize the issue is non conformity and not something inherently defective, you should just give up trying to explain yourself.

My authenticity is I am a person who for some unknown reason feels comfortable wearing women's clothing. That the end game for me. I do not want to be a woman. I do not want to be a man. My identity is not based upon the appendage hanging between my legs. I suspect my thinking is way ahead of society's thinking.

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm always the real me even when I'm a complete fake.

[Jaymees22]

I believe my answer is in my signature.

[Judy-Somthing]

It's got to be very hard for most people to be their true selves. Everyone is so different even know we are very similar!
My ideas of what life is all about is constantly bashed and shot down by my wife.
I have to keep my true self hidden or be miserable with rejection. Wow it would be so nice to be free from hiding!

[Krisi]

Oh dear. You don't know what authentic means?

Seriously? That seems a bit more rude than what was called for.

Of course I know what the word "authentic" means. The reason I posed the question is, that personally, I am the same person whether I'm wearing a bra and panties or briefs and a T shirt. Strapping on a pair of boobs and throwing on a wig and a dress doesn't change my personality, taste in food or political views. Or my taste in music. I am always "authentic".

I am truly interested in how and why many crossdressers on this forum feel that their personality changes or they become a different person (the "real" or "authentic" me) when they change into women's clothes. If we all can try to understand each other, perhaps this can be a better forum and perhaps the outside world will get just a little better. And that's why I posted my original question.

I appreciate those who responded with their thoughts about themselves, I really do. This forum wouldn't be worth the time it takes to read if it was confined to topics like "How many pairs of heels do you own? or "Is this skirt too short on me?"

[Tracy Irving]

I am the same person whether I'm wearing a bra and panties or briefs and a T shirt. Strapping on a pair of boobs and throwing on a wig and a dress doesn't change my personality, taste in food or political views.

True that. Even when I get crazy free time to put on a wedding dress or ball gown my personality remains consistent. I am always me, whatever that is...

[Jaylyn]

So we can be authentic no matter which mode we are in? I don't feel authentic when I'm in girl mode. I'm a cd not an authentic GG, maybe there's a difference in the feelings one get but one can never be authentic unless they are posing as the sex they are born. Now I'm confused Krisi.

[Gillian Gigs]

Most of my life I have strived to be a consistent authentic person in what ever situation I am in. This has been more of a challenge than I ever believed it would be, especially the consistent part. In facing the CDing side of my life I strive on be consistent and authentic also. As someone said,"allowing yourself to be everything you are" is the daily accepting of oneself, whether it bucks the system or not. True happiness is a state of the mind, it is not found in an action, or an article of apparel. Being true to yourself is the path that leads to happiness.

[docrobbysherry]

Good post, Krisi. I read so many post that say they r trying to be authentic and/or "natural" also. Which begs the question:
Where do u draw the line on what u believe to be authentic/natural dressing?

Only a dress, unshaven beard, and man hair?
Maybe a dress with makeup, a wig, and forms?
Maybe those plus shaping gear, hip/butt pads and a female silicone suit?

Since the authentic/natural line is different for everyone, why even use those words? Just be u. Dress the way u want and leave your claim of being authentic/natural out of it. Because your "authentic/natural" may be meaningless to the rest of us!
Is that what you're getting at, Krisi? Or, am I off base?

[Pat]

Since the authentic/natural line is different for everyone, why even use those words? Just be u. Dress the way u want and leave your claim of being authentic/natural out of it. Because your "authentic/natural" may be meaningless to the rest of us!

Not sure in which way "Just be u" is different from someone saying they're being authentic, but if "I'm just being me" is easier for you to understand, then sure, go with that.

[Michelle1955]

I was born in 1955, at a very early age (5) I thought I should be a girl. As a teenager it was not a environment to transition, so you crossdressed the best you could. Authentic for me is a woman.

But I'm a crossdresser / panties 24/7 and male cloths. Dress when I can, but panties 24/7 is my baby pacifier for me.

The younger generation can transition at a young age now.

At 62 years old would I have surgery = no I do not think so. Would I go full time maybe.

[Beverley Sims]

I feel the person we are trying to describe here is so diverse it defies description.

[Bobbi46]

We are individual, we are all different but in the end we are who we want to be, authentic? isn't that somehow coupled with passing and being accepted? I wonder. Deep down it is how we feel and if we feel natural and comfortable en femme then surely that is where authenticity comes together coupled with the feeling of contentment and being comfortable in how each and every one of us portrays ourselves, and the confidence we have for those of us that are able to go out and not get the feeling of being noticed for whatever reason.Personal feelings and ways of life are all precious to us in each and every way. i am perfectly happy being what I am and so many people round me know that I dress and does that bother them? no way they just accept me for what I am so does that make me authentic? yes in a way it does

[Teresa]

krisi,
I feel you ask this question on the basis of your personal situation saying you are just a crossdresser nothing more than that you have a certain level of dressing but are content to return to male mode I'm also assuming you don't have GD. Whatever your trigger is it's possibly different to the people who say when they dress they feel authentic. Some come to that decision quickly and some look back and find it's taken most of their lifetime , in retrospect I know I was born with this trait , the dressing is literally that, a dressing or coating to show the World what my inner needs and feelings are.

To dress for me feels complete or in your words authentic, finally comfortable in my own skin. when I separate from my wife and move into my own home I hope very much that will finally happen for me in a permanent way. Being authentic to me will be a social transition , I'm sure like most there will be a to and fro compromise .

Will I be a real woman NO ! it can never happen , look at this way , to me to be a crossdresser is a window to the female part of me, it's the only way I satisfy my inner feelings and relate them to the outside World that's when it becomes authentic or natural if you prefer .

[Charlotte7]

‘Authentic’ is not something that I have posted but I can see where you are coming from. What I am doing right now, sitting on the sofa, in front of an open fire, enjoying a glass of red wine with the wife, (me) wearing a red skirt and black top, is exactly how I want to be. Yes, it's strange to me, this not only never ending, but also never diminishing desire to wear women's clothes. And yes, it is even stranger to society as a whole, that we, who are born as men, should want to express in some way, however small or however large, that we have some part of us that is, in some way, feminine, female, or ever so slightly off the (societal norm) straight and narrow. (yes, there area lot of caveats there). But, in my case, and I can only talk about me, I need to express this, if to no one else, then to me. Is that me being authentic? No, it's me being me. But, if that suits your meaning of the word authentic, then that's fine too. As Pat said, everyone is right, and nobody is wrong.

[Michaelasfun]

Sounds like something I would post (maybe I already have LOL)...
I was born a genetic male and grew up liking the traditional "guy" stuff, and reveled in expressing what I thought was gender appropriate; however with age, I discovered this realm where I could express what I perceive as my "real" self, more in touch with my emotions rather than doing the "macho" thing and denying any feelings that weren't appropo for a male to express outwardly, or wearing pretty, colorful clothes that again weren't male-centric by normal standards. I suppose I could find solace in expressing all these things in drab clothes, but it just seems validating to do it representing as a woman. As Beverley expressed, maybe it does defy description.