"when I'm dressed I'm striving to be the authentic me. "

[Krisi]

Oh dear. You don't know what authentic means?

Seriously? That seems a bit more rude than what was called for.

Of course I know what the word "authentic" means. The reason I posed the question is, that personally, I am the same person whether I'm wearing a bra and panties or briefs and a T shirt. Strapping on a pair of boobs and throwing on a wig and a dress doesn't change my personality, taste in food or political views. Or my taste in music. I am always "authentic".

I am truly interested in how and why many crossdressers on this forum feel that their personality changes or they become a different person (the "real" or "authentic" me) when they change into women's clothes. If we all can try to understand each other, perhaps this can be a better forum and perhaps the outside world will get just a little better. And that's why I posted my original question.

I appreciate those who responded with their thoughts about themselves, I really do. This forum wouldn't be worth the time it takes to read if it was confined to topics like "How many pairs of heels do you own? or "Is this skirt too short on me?"

[DMichele]

Krisi,
My thoughts on this are very similar to Pat's, Gretchen's and Isabella's posts.

At one time, I limited myself to the closet, but today as I venture out more and more I am finally being true (authentic) to myself and those I encounter. I am enjoying the interactions with cashiers and SAs and not letting the occasional snickering (usually from passing males) or stares bother me. The experiences shared by Teresa and others here have been helpful to me.

To me, it is like the line in Amazing Grace -
"I once was lost, but now I am found
T'was blind but now I see".

Finally I recently came across a quote from Muhammed Ali that a can relate too in my authenticity.

"I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be who I want."

I don't know if this helps, but your topic is a good one. Thank you for raising the topic.

[Krisi]

And thank you for your honest answer.

[Rhonda Jean]

I'll take a stab at this Krisi. I'm not sure "authentic" is really the right term, at least as I see it. It is that in my normal, everyday life, I conceal a part of me that is very basic to who I am. For the most part, my friends and family don't really know me. Looking at it without assigning labels might make it clearer what I'm trying to say. All day at work and socially, everybody else can discuss and bond over shared likes and dislikes. No need to conceal hide. One guy like hunting and another likes golf. I may pretend to like those things to help conceal what I really like. I'm more excited about the holiday eye shadows coming out than I am about deer season, but I can't tell anybody. Sometimes I like wearing makeup or high heels or nail polish just for the hell of it, but I better not be seen doing that. Nobody is worried about being seen with new pair of waders. I might be more authentic when I'm out as a crossdresser or a transgender woman because I don't have to hide that integral part of me.

[Fiona123]

I was that poster, I think. The term crossdresser does not adequately describe me although I do crossdress. I consider myself transgender. When I'm dressed I am the woman I want to be. When I present as a male I don't feel authentic, I feel like a fraud and also I experience dysphoria and depression. The real me is a transgender woman. I am happier when I can present as a female.

[DMichele]

Fiona,
I can so relate to your post as I identify as a transgender near female. Today I feel more authentic, but I am a work in progress so there is room for improvement.

Full disclosure - I to have used the authentic me on several posts over the last several months.

After reading the responses again, I believe Teresa made a key point in identifying GD as a common characteristic to the people feeling true to themselves. Does this make sense to anyone?

[leotard fan]

i like read all of your opinions, they all make me think...
but i love the reply of pat and docrobbysherry.

[Becky Blue]

Kristi, I have never posted about being authentic my answer is more related to your latest post where you ask about how our personality changes when we are dressed. Of course I can only speak for myself but when I am dressed properly ie makeup, wig clothes and go out I am Becky. But its not the clothes and the dressing that make me Becky, its the other way around its Becky wanting to dress up and go out.

Do I have a different personality No? but I am a very different person. How so you may wonder? Well when I am dressed I feel very different, my senses are on a higher plain I feel as if they are turbo charged. I smell and see and feel things that in my normal day to day life I am unaware of. I feel totally relaxed but also thrilled to be out, I feel the breeze on my legs, the tug of my bra strap, the touch of my hair on my shoulder... I call it my natural high.

Now that I feel so different how can I not act differently? I am feeling so great, so happy, so relaxed, so excited that i am much more bubbly, more talkative, more fun... So do I feel more authentic? No Do i feel very different? Yes.

I am not an alpha male, I am not big and strong, I am not one of the boys does this make me a less authentic male? No, I am an authentic TPerson that much I know. I also know that when I feel my female side very strongly, I do not need to dress properly to authenticate my feelings.

[Julie Slowinski]

My experience on Facebook indicates that this term ‘authentic’ is more commonly used by trans women to describe their lives after beginning transition. The idea being that prior to transition they were living to the expectations of others and afterwards they are living true to themselves (i.e., authentic). I think the term is less commonly used by crossdressers, but still applies. While it is not quite so dramatic or public, we often go through a change associated with self-acceptance. And, once we have this self-acceptance, we are ready to live our lives without guilt or shame and just be who we are (i.e., being authentic to ourselves).

[Tracy Irving]

I am the same person whether I'm wearing a bra and panties or briefs and a T shirt. Strapping on a pair of boobs and throwing on a wig and a dress doesn't change my personality, taste in food or political views.

True that. Even when I get crazy free time to put on a wedding dress or ball gown my personality remains consistent. I am always me, whatever that is...

[CynthiaD]

It means something different depending on who says it. For me, it means when I look in the mirror, I see myself (my female self) looking back at me, not some stranger (my male self).

[DMichele]

Julie,

I totally agree with your explanation...

And, once we have this self-acceptance, we are ready to live our lives without guilt or shame and just be who we are (i.e., being authentic to ourselves).

[Jaymees22]

I believe my answer is in my signature.

[Judy-Somthing]

It's got to be very hard for most people to be their true selves. Everyone is so different even know we are very similar!
My ideas of what life is all about is constantly bashed and shot down by my wife.
I have to keep my true self hidden or be miserable with rejection. Wow it would be so nice to be free from hiding!

[Krisi]

I was that poster, I think. The term crossdresser does not adequately describe me although I do crossdress. I consider myself transgender. When I'm dressed I am the woman I want to be. When I present as a male I don't feel authentic, I feel like a fraud and also I experience dysphoria and depression. The real me is a transgender woman. I am happier when I can present as a female.

It may have been but I have seen that statement (usually "the real me" but the same thought) so many times that I thought I would ask for an explanation.

Again, I thank the folks who answered my question honestly and I think those answers have helped me to understand some of the differences between those who post on crossdressers.com. There's room for all of us if we try to understand each other.

[Brynna M]

I’m in a place in my life where the part of me that like make up cute cute clothes shoes etc stays hidden. So when that part of me gets to come out I am more myself. I’m still a man a father, an engineer, a video gamer, and none of those are gone when I dress but it’s the suppressed part of me that is now free that makes a dressed or and least cd safe tike this forum more the real me.

[Rebecca W.]

Dear Gretchen,

Your quote sums up how I feel when my feminine side is not suppressed.

To **me** authentic is the polar opposite of suppressed. Some of us live out lives bottled up due to family, work, social circumstances, our own self doubts. When I get the opportunity to exist , even for a small bit of time, as my female side, it is uplifting, gratifying, calm and freeing.

[Vintage4sarah]

Gretchen and Rebecca, I feel that what you have said also truly reveals what I think and feel. When those moments, days or weekends happen I get pleasantly lost into the the authentic person that I am.

[abby054]

CD. Stana says it best in her post on her website today. I am not a woman. I have no intention or desire to be a woman. But as a CD, I can and do act like a woman, schoolyard bullies notwithstanding, as Stana noted. I can and do play like a girl. My sister enjoyed having such a playmate. I can and do dress as a woman part time, though that developed somewhat later. I enjoy all this, but I am not a woman nor do I want to be one.