Lana,
It sounds like you are committed to talking to a counselor, and I'm another one who believes that can be a good thing. I've been twice, but the first one was to deal with all sorts of others stresses in my life at the time; work, family, money, you know the common stuff. Just getting the chance to talk to someone who was not vested in my problems, but willing to listen was a great relief. It gave me the first chance in years to cry and just let go of many of the things I'd been holding close, so close they were blocking my vision of my options.
A couple years ago I started seeing a therapist with my intent being to get a handle on my gender identity issues. Once again, I feel like I hit a home run. Part of the success I've felt I had was because I spent a lot of time writing a journal. It gave me the opportunity to work out some of the questions I wanted the counselor to help me with and also gave me the chance to reflect on what we discussed in the sessions. We met for several months and he finally suggested I didn't really have much else to work on and maybe we didn't need to schedule anything for a while. He was right and I went quite a while being comfortable with the progress I'd made. A month ago I started writing in the journal again and it seems I have a new raft of questions I need some help with, so I'm scheduling an appointment with him in the near future.
The counselor won't make choices for me. It may sound like he's telling me what I want to hear, but that's only after I've made the decisions about what will make my life better. Professionals will be more than willing to ask questions and if your answer is based on shaking ground, they will keep asking questions. Try to be open to questions that may seem to come from left field or from a position of ignorance. It may be they are testing your foundation. Good luck.
