Going along with jokes at work

[Alice_2014_B]

A lady at work, near my same night-shift schedule, is a work-buddy of mine.
She is kind of friends with another lady on day-shift.

It was a while ago, but I used to see them outside at work when I came into work in the evening.

The day-shift gal I guess kind of dug my work pants with simple black work boots.
Somehow it got to friendly joking about black high heeled boots with my work pants.

And I always went along like, "Yeah, my knee-highs are at home, gotta polish 'em up before Saturday night."

So a few nights ago I walk into the office and a co-worker says to* the night-shift gal something about wearing or not wearing something.

Then she is like, "I bet you have women's clothes."
I replied, "Oh yeah, I have a walk-in closet with my dresses all color coordinated."

Does anyone else do this?
Perhaps it's a defense mechanism when people joke about something that is basically near and dear to you.

I don't feel nervous at all around such conversations or joking around.

It's just what I do.
I like to see how far I can push such limits sometimes.

[SamanthaToday]

There's a saying...

"Many a true word is spoken in jest."

So when I hear people making comments I always think of that quote.

And Yes I do it to..

[Abbey11]

Yep I definitely play along. Was out for drinks some time back with friends who dwarfed me, 1 said I should have put my heels on, I said I'd remember to do that next time

[Stacy Darling]

I joke about myself all the time, I must say that I have trouble with knowing where the boundaries are though!

If I didn't freely joke about my messed up mixed up self, I need to cut my nails & fit in better!

Joking about my dressing breaks some little awkwardness' for others as well!

Serious Stacy!

[Tracii G]

I have done that a few times with women I worked with that noticed some of my clothing were womens clothing.
I just played along just like you did and I'm sure they thought I was kidding but then again I did seem to know a lot about womens clothes in general when those subjects came up in conversations.

[TheHiddenMe]

I traveled to Phoenix with my wife and was in the car with two of my buddies and their wives. While there of us were in the store, the three others in the car were watching a woman in an adjacent car putting on her makeup.

That led to a discussion among the wives about when you put on eyeliner. So one of the wives turned to me and asked when I put on my eyeliner. I just answered, "the next time I'm in Sephora I'll have to ask."

[Jean 103]

Not really, but I'm out at work and will make comments about myself, or kid around with a couple of people there. I have a running joke with the Secretary about going to the beach any time they sent me there, like I don't have my bikini with me . There is new guy , I told him after a couple of weeks, now when he is up tight or stressed, I tell him maybe he should try wearing a dress, or something similar. Hey if you can't laugh at yourself?

[DaisyLawrence]

Alice, I do this all the time. I like to have fun with the 'many a true word spoken in jest' in a double bluff kind of way. For example, if I was asked the same question about women's clothes that you were I would answer it totally honestly with a reply like yours and then move on. Answered with a totally straight face in a matter of fact style like it must be true really confuses people. They think it must be true because of how I said it but then it can't be true because if it was I wouldn't answer so honestly. Usually people then assume you were joking, hence the double bluff because I was, of course, telling the truth. The subject will not then carry on in case the inquisitors head explodes but if they press further I continue the charade. I must have told dozens of people that I am gender fluid and sometimes present female and not one of them knows! Go figure the human mind.

[Keichan]

Once told a GG at work that I can afford those nice heels at the shop window now we got our bonus pay.

She told me I should have enough for a handbag too!

[Cheryl T]

I do that too.
One day I was at an office and it was a bit chilly, but I was wearing shorts. The receptionist asked if I wasn't cold and I said no, why would I be and besides you are wearing a skirt.
She said that she was wearing pantyhose and that they kept her warm so I told her that maybe I should try that.

[Ressie]

Joking about it is much better than worrying that someone has you figured out. After Halloween a photo of me wearing devil horns was on facebook. One of the guys in the band joked that "its a wonder that you didn't wear a blue dress", referring to the song Devil with a blue dress. I just said that I left at home.

[Mark B]

I started wearing heels with my pants at work in late January this year after talking with our HR department about dress codes. Slowly graduated to wearing 3" heels with my suits and pants by end of February. I was joking with my secretary about a certain pairs of shoes I was wearing that day by saying I had a skirt that matched the shoes. About a week later another female asked me when I was going to wear a skirt to the office. I asked her why did she think I had a skirt. She said that the whole office knew that I had skirts to go with my shoes. So after again having another talk with HR, the following week I wore a gray skirt, black 4" pumps, and a black men's shirt on casual Friday. About two weeks after that, I was wearing a skirt almost daily and this and this was just early April. So I only started doing this (wearing a skirt and heels daily) less than year ago (9-10 months) and loving it. All because I joked about having a matching skirt with my secretary.

[suzanne]

Did she take your response as a joke? Or did you just get an opportunity to own it a potentially supportive co worker?

Okay, I take that back. From your last post, I see you are absolutely out and I'm a bit envious. If I had an office job, I'd be out like you. Congratulations.

[Sabrina.K]

I've done this so much with friends that I've practically outed myself without actually outing myself.

[Michaelasfun]

My workgroup is comprised mostly of women, and one day at 5pm, one of them went by the cubicles on her way out and said "Good night, ladies", then put her head in my cube and said "Good night to you too, you're one of the ladies".. I just smiled LOL

[Fiona123]

Be careful, there is a thin line between joking at work and gender harassment

[Sarah Doepner]

Be careful, there is a thin line between joking at work and gender harassment

Isn't that the truth, particularly in the last few months. While you need to choose your words carefully you still need to remember a good sense of humor will sometimes get you through tough situations better than all the legal background of an attorney.

I've been out of the workplace for nearly 9 years now and most of my chances to joke have been when I've been shopping. Much less threatening environment to be sure, but it does present plenty of chances to joke about and, hopefully destroy a few limiting gender stereotypes.

[gailprice]

Hello Alice,
I think these kind of comments from the ladies we work with closely are fairly common. I find I talk more easily with the girls at work than I do the guys.
One day i came very close to out myself to one of the ladies, she then came to the assumption I was a CD. Since then, she and now others take it for granted that I CD but I never deny it and they do not have a problem with it. We even talk dresses and skirts. I get asked for my opinion on occasions on their dress choice.

Gail xxx

[DIANEF]

A few years ago I was discussing a forthcoming works night out with my female colleagues. They were talking about what they would be wearing, and as I was officially 'one of the girls' someone asked me if I had a nice 'frock' to wear. I said 'jokingly' that I had a really nice blue dress (true) but my wife wouldn't let me go out in it. They thought no more of it, though I swear one girl looked at me as if to say, 'you're not joking are you'.

[Becky Blue]

Years ago my then work had a fancy dress party with the theme 'outrageous'. My planets aligned perfectly as my wife was away. So of course I went as Miss Management. I spent a lot of time to not dress properly so as to not give myself away. I really did look like a MIAD. This was just before the time of camera phones so i thank my lucky stars that the only picture was one Polaroid, which i got hold of and ultimately destroyed.

The party was amazing people really went to town with the dressups and people loved my outfit but it really was no big deal on the night. That Monday at work one of our senior managers who didn't attend saw the picture and she says "you have done this before you look too good". Trust me when I say I was a MIAD. So my answer was "yes of course heaps of times I go out almost every Friday night." She laughed and we moved on. But it became a bit of a standing joke, what are people doing this weekend? she would then say to me "Well we know what you are up to don't we." I figured the best way to not make anyone suspicious was to encourage the joke.. after a few months everyone moved on.

[Beverley Sims]

I field the jokes whichever way they turn.

I certainly play it up when it is a suggestion that I have an eye for womens fashions, I have won this on a few occasions when I was younger with outings with other girls and trying on clothes of a Saturday morning for something to wear on Saturday night.

On the other side I have not come to the defence of anyone a 'bit" gay or whatever as silence usually is the best defence in that type of company.

[Gillian Gigs]

I like to have a joke, or an anecdote to tell people when I see them. The way I see it is if they have a laugh, they enjoyed themselves and I left them feeling good about themselves and me. It is easy to deflect comments with a joke and leave people wondering if I was serious, or just joking. I love jokes that are a play on words that can have many meanings. It's amazing how many clean jokes are out there and how many can be recycled after many years. You just need a good memory.

I remember the first times I broke a fingernail at work in the lunchroom and made a girly "awe I broke a nail". The look I got from three of the individuals was priceless and I laughed out loud. They quickly realized I was joking and laughed also. The idea is to get a reaction, and I got one! I remember another time when the company sent out a new dress code saying that to the knee skirts with hose were okay, so I asked to boss if that included me too. I got a reaction and we both had a good laugh. Whether it is a laugh, or a groan, it's the reaction that counts. So what better way to deflect an awkward situation than to make a joke out of it.

[alwayshave]

My former secretary jokingly asked if I was a crossdresser based on the adds that are always on my browser. I said certainly and laughed.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

My former secretary

Should we read anything into that??