The drive to SRS... (another IS vs TS post)

[MandyTS]

I posted this on another TS forum, but I would like the opinion here of other TS individuals...


Good morning girls,

My mother and father had a discussion in regards to my transistioning, and SRS, and
interesting enough my mom is much more supportive than my father... it will come around
eventually though... if not, oh well... they can not rule my life any more. Besides the "how
do you know you will be happy?" question my father is fixated on "the surgery". He is still
convinced that since I have a "small penis" vs my contention that I have a "enlarged clit"
since I did have a vaginal opening when I was born, that I am a boy. (BTW if you want to
see what surgery as a baby left me as, check out the metoidioplasty pictures on REEDs
FTM SRS page, that is rather close (length, etc), except I have trouble "standing to void").

I have people who know me asking all the time when I will have "the operation", including
my Spanish Teacher who used to live in Trinidad, i.e. sex change capital of the world. I tell
then all the time that SRS is not a priority and that my identity is not wrapped up in
whether I have a "penis or a vagina," but in my expression in who I am inside my self. If I
am comfortable in myself then there is no reason to be embarassed about who I am any
way.

I read about many people who are TS who "hate" their male parts, and for some reason I
can not relate to that. I believe it is because my tiny male parts (or IMO large female part),
is not linked to sexual function. From day 1 I am not required to take high doses of
hormones anyway so all the things about getting SRS to lesson the need for hormones is
not there (my body produces no normal testosterone (or estrogen) except the small
amount produced by the adrenal glands, my levels are about that of a natal female. I
almost speculate that the difference is that because I am part female anyway, and because
I am not so concerned of marriage and sex right now it is not so important on my mind.

So here is the question... is the need for SRS a classical transexual priority vs someone
who is IS, or is it just my own mind because of Kallmann's?

Mandy


Thanks again... :cheeky:

[DonnaT]

More and more TS's are coming out in favor of not having the surgery. They say that that isn't what is important at the moment, because they have no issues with their current genitalia. Of course, this may have been the case for a long time, but not as well known as the SRS option prior to the Internet.

Their biggest issue was being able to live life as a woman, not have sex like a woman.

I know of person that was XXy IS, and had the surgery last year just to feel more complete as a woman.

[MandyTS]

That is interesting because I am XXy also... but a little rarer form. I guess for myself, the lack of hormones changes a few of the outlooks I have about my body, and maybe the fact that I am really inbetween does not make me in a big hurry to define my sexual systems...

Last time at my therapy session I said "One thing I can not wait for is to for once in my life have normal heterosexual sex with a man after SRS... but in the scheme of things it is just not as important..."

Mandy

[Maria D]

I want SRS, but due to costs it's not likely to be for years yet. I don't hate my genitals at all, I simply felt they were just another outward symbol of maleness I didn't want.

I think you're right that who you are comes from the inside. How you want the outside to be is up to you in either direction; just make it how you feel it should be, regardless of premade gender patterns.

Take care

[Jennaie]

From what I have read here, you believe that your a female who was born with an enlarged clitoris. They closed your vaginal opening why? And if you actually have an enlarged clitoris, is this the penis that you urinate from? Women do not urniate from there clitorises.

Please explain this to me because I am confused a bit here. Not about you or who you are and what you want to be, but simply about the operation and functions of you genitals.

[sam]

metoidioplasty pictures on REEDs
FTM SRS page

what is the web address for it

[MandyTS]

From what I have read here, you believe that your a female who was born with an enlarged clitoris. They closed your vaginal opening why? And if you actually have an enlarged clitoris, is this the penis that you urinate from? Women do not urniate from there clitorises.

Please explain this to me because I am confused a bit here. Not about you or who you are and what you want to be, but simply about the operation and functions of you genitals.

Ok, I was born with a "microphallius (i.e. micropenis), that was open at the bottom, giving the apearance of a vagina. The doctors decided since the "pee hole" was in the "phallius" that I was a boy and closed the opening that was a vagina. It was kind of one of those oh my gosh she looks like a boy, so we will make her a him... well it did not work...

It is truely academic what you want to call it anyway... it really does not matter all that much!

Mandy

[Jennaie]

Mandy, I am sorry if I offended you in any way, I understand that it does not matter. You are who you are and I was just curious about the details of this type of thing.

I think it is a crime to make decisions like this when a child is just a baby. I think the parents should wait to see what the child wants and make nesessary changes at or before puberty.

[Kimberley]

Hi Mandy,
My pdoc stated: "If you were 18 to 20 I would be recommending you to a gender clinic in a large city." I guess that qualifies me as TS although I often question that. It is still something I am trying to reconcile within myself.
I think at various times in my life I have had a burning need to pursue this avenue and if there were no external barriers I probably would have. Today, I would be more content to live female than to actually pursue SRS. I cant say that will be the case tomorrow but I think overall in my life the gender assignment vs reality has created a lot of internal conflict.
I have only recently been able to discuss this conflict with my pdoc and a little of it here.
So, is it essential? Perhaps and perhaps not. Can we live without it? Yes but it is extremely difficult.

Clear as mud? I thought so.

[Danielle1960]

No

You should decide how you want to live and just follow your heart. I'm not sure of many things regarding you issue but if there was hope of successful reproduction then I would say a big Yes.

Remember to to make your own decision and not be pressured to make one. Your dad seems (from your description) seems to be supporting you but it is hard to lose (what he considers) his son.

Hope this helps
Danielle