The older you get,the less you care?

[FrannGurl]

As Ive gotten older. I have not been so worried about what others think.
I have two circles of friends...some know about me...some don't and some are part of that " in between"
I have been "found out" either by mistake or coming out to others , but as time goes on, I seem to care less and
am friends with many women, couples as well as men.
It hasn't always gone well, but seem to comfortable with that..

I am not sure if this has been brought up before..
For us girls over 40...do you feel the same? ( younger girls can comment too!)

[Lana Mae]

If I did, I do not think my nails would be painted 24/7! Hugs Lana Mae

[marlacd]

Depends on your drive to dress. I'm long term, but these past few years I've not been dressing as often. Since my divorce, I thought it would increase. It did, for a while. Then, life started to kick in. A soft economy started to eat into my disposable income. That, made me make choices I had to do. After all, a roof over my head is a wee bit more important, than what's more fun.

Another hit was a social venue that closed up. No place to go, ties into not dressing so much. Then I started to get back into a hobby that was just as fun, and a fine substitute for dressing. (At least I think so.) Toss in one expensive toy I've wanted for years- that I REALLY wanted, and I'm out enjoying that more lately.

Things change with age. I used to think I wanted another lady in my life. Not so anymore. They got too demanding on my free time. And as much as they don't want to admit it, a fair number of them want someone with a hefty bank account.

[Jaylyn]

I have had many thoughts about just dressing and telling everybody at my age I'll do what I want regardless of what anyone thinks about it. I've got a bunch of grandkids and they think Grandpa hung the moon so I really don't won't to mess up their thoughts of Grandpa can do anything and is tougher than Superman. What out hers think really doesn't concern me any more but what my kids might think or worse of all my grandkids does. By the way I'm ver forty by 28 years so I guess I qualify to comment on this.

[Isabella Ross]

In short, yes. Similar experiences. Nephews, nieces, a few more friends. At this stage, it seems kind of pointless to be so obsessed with secrecy, as I was for most of my life.

[bridget thronton]

I am told that older adults do not filter their speech like they did when they were younger - I suspect we do not care as much about what others think as we age (less field dependent)

[Charlotte7]

Being on the far side of 50 I feel that I fall into this. Yes, I do care less what people think. I have a few friends who know about my dressing and I'm happy with that. I suppose I've got to the stage where I think what the worse that can happen? My answer is people knowing, possibly even seeing me wearing women's clothes? If they have a problem with it, then it's their problem. I'm also fortunate to have an accepting SO and I also don't have any kids / grandkids to worry about.

[Leslie Mary S]

I qualify, at a young 74. I had a period in my mid 60s that I didn't care and did what I wanted. Then the World changed and everything turned sour. Back into the closet I went, in a new city/home. I am now slowly creeping out more and more but nowhere compared to what I was doing. Guess I am literally very gun shy.
So I do care where and when I go out.
The incentives that occur in your life can and DO control your actions.

[Harriettes]

Except for family I care less and less if people see me dressed or wearing lipstick. Also when shopping it does not matter if I am the only man in the bra or lingerie section of the store or taking a dress off of the rack to look at.

[XemmaX]

I assume it's also abit to do with there being a Horizon and that one gets to a point in their life when they think well all i have is time and i should use it and live as i want to.

[Elizabeth G]

I definitely find that I worry and care less as I age. The only reason I'm not out to more people is out of respect to my wife who isn't ready for that.

[faltenrock]

Yes, I don't care anymore what people might think when they see me on the street, in a mall or store.

[Sabrina.K]

I just turned 37, but I know what you mean.

I'm constantly dropping blatant hints to friends now, which I would NEVER have done a few years ago. I'm finding myself caring less and less if they know or not.

I hope the feeling continues

[MindiB]

Yes I am 54 and it just seems lately I just don't care about today's society I just want to be me.

[Ressie]

It probably depends on one's situation, personality etc. I'm not as worried about it as I used to be. I'm sure people close to me know something but that doesn't mean I'm gonna start dressing in front of them.

[Pat]

Age has lots of benefits -- maybe you care less, maybe your personality has become stronger, maybe you just realize that time is running out for you to be you. But I think part of it has to be that society has matured a bit as well and the bar is lowering for acceptance so more of us can jump it. I'm pretty sure that when our culture was at its most intolerant, many of us went to our graves with our "secret."

[Taylor186]

I'm in my mid 60s, and I'm not as worried about discovery as I used to be but it wasn't a straight progression from being very worried in my teens to less worried in my 60s. I was very concerned my whole working life (to my late 50s) as being discovered would certainly have killed career progression opportunities. And, being less worried today doesn't mean I am not worried at all. My wife knows completely but no one else does (my wife thinks a few suspect) but I never outwardly crossdress around friends, family or even in my home town. I will crossdress on Halloween and I will stealth dress at the health club and in those cases I'll let the chips fall where they may if questioned, but I don't take that chance anywhere else.


[edit] ^^^ yes, to what Pat says just above.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

good post if not for my wife i wouldn't care who in the world new i dressed as a woman(62 yrs old)

[Stephanie47]

I hit seventy this year. For me it depends what you get out of presenting as a woman. It is obvious from the posts there are many who are out and about in the community. I think it is great to have a circle of friends who share similar interests. I have no desire to present as a woman before anyone. Presenting as a woman is a stress reliever. I enjoy my femme time. I get chores done around the home while en femme. My wife is not appreciative of my cross dressing. Even if she were encouraging around the house I doubt I would go forth and interact with others. There is no point to it for me. When I do have the opportunity to take evening strolls there fear of running into a coworker is gone since I a retiree. There are people I know who would shun me if my cross dressing became general knowledge. That would spill over on my wife and family. It's just one those issues that fall under a "need to know."

[Cheryl T]

I most certainly feel the same.
Perhaps it is aging, perhaps it's just that I don't care what others think as much as I did long ago.

I don't do this for anyone but myself and in being true to myself I have accepted who I am. If others can't see past the clothing to the person inside, even after knowing me for years and years, then they were never truly friends and in that case I don't have need for them or their narrow minded attitudes.

[Helen_Highwater]

Age has lots of benefits -- maybe you care less, maybe your personality has become stronger, maybe you just realize that time is running out for you to be you. But I think part of it has to be that society has matured a bit as well and the bar is lowering for acceptance so more of us can jump it. I'm pretty sure that when our culture was at its most intolerant, many of us went to our graves with our "secret."

Pat,

I agree with you especially about society lowering the bar for acceptance. Having said that from my own personal experience I know I've come to not worry about what complete strangers think about me as lets face it, I'll never see them again.

[Allison2006]

I'm over 50 and I'd say I don't care much what strangers think anymore. Recently I was shopping with my wife and got a dress for myself. The SA made a comment about how it would look on me(I was not in any way dressed/presenting fem). I thought she was just making a joke, my wife thought I was "busted". I seriously didn't care either way. And while I still hope my family doesn't find out, I think I've gotten to the point where I can live with it if they do.

[sometimes_miss]

I would guess it would really depend upon what someone would be at risk of losing should they be outed. If you rent, you could be manipulated into losing your apartment. Sure, outright discrimination is often illegal, but they could always come up with some other reason to evict you. At work, same thing, when management doesn't want someone, they find other legal ways to get rid of them.

[Gillian Gigs]

Growing up in the 60's, it was "what would the neighbors think!" As I got older I discovered that the neighbors have secrets also, and I don't really care what they are, so why wouldn't they think the same way as me! We spent so much time attempting to impress people who mean little or nothing to us and for what? Maybe this is a result of growing older, but I have no time for this anymore. If you like me, fine, if you don't like me, your choice! I like me, my family likes me and they are the most important priorities.

[Kayliedaskope]

I am told that older adults do not filter their speech like they did when they were younger - I suspect we do not care as much about what others think as we age (less field dependent)

Bingo. I've gotten past the "politically correct" stage and moved on to "who will I offend today."