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Thread: Wife retireing Wendy?

  1. #1
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    Wife retireing Wendy?

    Hello here we go excited and ???
    Ok my wife is retireing shortly after
    The new year... wicked cool... hey
    Wendy....

    She knows abought Wendy dose not totaly
    Like it can’t believe her husband is Wendy
    So she has been home from early October
    Now putting Wendy in the closet just is not
    Going to happen ....

    We kinda talked some she is not warm
    And fuzzy abought it ....

    I bought a few new dresses a pink above the
    Knee short sleeve ... (way too cute) and
    A Red below the knee long sleeve that
    I am so sure Wendy is going to rock it

    Any way they are in my closet and she (my wife )
    Asked who’s dresses are they... ? I said
    Wendy’s ... the look omg the look ...

    I know that whole take and give thing
    This will and needs towork out ...

    I told her we need a girlfriends shopping
    Trip... she said what do you mean?
    I said you and Wendy out shopping
    Then she said your going to be in drag?
    I said Wendy doesn’t wear male clouthing

    Good times on the way

  2. #2
    Madam Ambassador Heidi Stevens's Avatar
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    If she’s never met Wendy, I see a special closet or a storage unit in your future. My wife has let me have a separate closet for Heidi right now, but we are leaning towards a storage unit. She wants nothing to do with Heidi, so I will be using our climate controlled unit sometime in the future. If she’s ok with Wendy, great. If not, expect a move for your wardrobe in the near future.
    Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

  3. #3
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Maybe if she sees Wendy dressed in wild S&M fetish gear she'll be ready to compromise to the mild mannered Wendy. Don't listen to me though, I've been divorced and single for 12 years.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  4. #4
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    Good times on the way? Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Overburdening your wife with visual stimuli may not produce the result you want.

  5. #5
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    Well, good luck!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Senior Member Abbey11's Avatar
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    Good luck, hope things go as you'd like
    OMG!! Owning my femininity .... and I LOVE it!

  7. #7
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    Tread very carefully.
    If you push too hard you may regret it, I am speaking from experience.
    I retired and started to dress more than normal.
    I also under dressed most of the time for a month and then everything blew up.
    I ended up taking half my things to charity shops and have just started to feel I can dress again after a very bad 18 months.
    I wish you well but please be careful.

    Hugs

    Jayne xx

  8. #8
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Wendy, I'm with Heidi, get a heated/air conditioned storage locker and dress there.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  9. #9
    Silver Member SherriePall's Avatar
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    And to think that people actually look forward to retiring!
    Sherrie Lynn Pall

    Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.

    Please don't let me be the last post on this thread

  10. #10
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    I am seeing nothing but a recipe for disaster but as is often said in these pages, You go girl!!!
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  11. #11
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    Just be honest with your wife about Wendy, talk to her about things. Dressing,how you feel when you dress Wendy's needs, ie...undergarments, shoes, beauty products etc. Don't ever make her feel like she's in competition in any way with Wendy, that's what may do you in. I'm kind of in this situation right now. I wish my SO would be more open and talk more about ok "her" so I could feel more like "her friend" instead of me feeling like "he" thinks more about his "alter" and doing for her than he does for me.
    Just taking one day at a time, trying to be a better person
    today than I was yesterday.

  12. #12
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    Well not good odds on this going well
    Going to try the slow at a faster pace

    I mean she has met Wendy on a few
    Times I have been busted more times than I can tell
    You all abought

    We should be ok ? Going to be a interesting
    Summer Wendy’s beach outfit is a skimpy black bikini
    Good times on the way

  13. #13
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    It is just mind blowing how cavalier you are about this whole thing. Your poor wife, by your own words she comes across as pretty much being horrified by her husband being "Wendy". She cannot fathom you in a dress. She ain't gonna go shopping with you as girlfriends (this is so not cool for many/most of our SO's). You can bet the farm that she won't dig your skimpy black bikini.

    Good times? Tell me what I'm missing. Her husband isn't Wendy. He is the dude she married no matter how you try to convince her that dressing girly magically transforms you into this Wendy. You are seeing things through your own pink lenses which cannot be good for the relationship.

    And don't say I'm piling on in any way. You have provided plenty of low hanging fruit given an evident lack of respect for your wife's feelings.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  14. #14
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    Good times on the way?? Doesn't sound like it from your posts.

    Ineke

  15. #15
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    Ok it may not be all good ...
    please Debbie downers look at what could
    Happen I am not saying everything
    Will be roses but not all weeds positive
    Thinking goes a long way

  16. #16
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    Wife retireing....Wendy? Part 2

    Ok small steps or what you can my frist
    Thread abought my wife retireing
    Was met with a ton of you can’t do that
    Well ????

    Ok she knows she busted me she came home early
    She brought family and friends to our beach
    House ... she has looked in my
    Closet ....bought me with make up on
    Over the last 40 years she knows

    She just doesn’t like it .... so let’s do this
    I stopped doing my Wendy clouthing
    Including my bras panties socks tights
    And that kind wash.....

    Now it’s in the wash I do wash as well as my wife
    Now she is not excited abought it....but she dose it
    And makes a little thing abought it
    My him things in a pile neet and folded
    Wendy things in a pile .... not folded or hung up


    She said your clothes are upstairs on the bed
    And the out stuff is there too....

    She has issues with my undies skimpy things
    And cute panties ...

    I offered her to go shopping with me she
    Just gives me the look ....

    Lol she found a light pink 3/4 sleeve
    Knee length dress ..and said who’s is this

    I looked at her and said not the dogs...
    Eyes rolled ....

    I believe we will get better at this she should
    Know that it’s going to be hard to get usta but
    It know we could have some fun ...

    Fingers crossed.....👗👠💼👢👚👙🌹

  17. #17
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    I understand your frustration. You already know that CDing is a touchy subject for your wife. However, in reading your post, my suggestion is to not get sarcastic when answering her:
    I looked at her and said not the dogs...
    If my husband answered me in such a condescending manner, I would be upset. Quips like that are not helpful to your cause.

    I'm sure you may have already tried a reasonable conversation. If you both are retired, it would be nice if there could be some kind of amicable solution.
    Last edited by char GG; 01-02-2018 at 05:09 PM.

  18. #18
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    Point taken I would love her to open
    To this person who I am ... would love to
    Go out at the cape were our beach house
    Is and shop go to dinner and out for drinks

    I know it’s a long way going ...

    As far as hideing this major part of me
    Not trying to sound selfish but I can’t
    Put Wendy in the closet ... time will tell

  19. #19
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Here we go again.

    She clearly isn't down with doing your laundry, yet you continue to rub her nose in it? I'd think her reaction is telling enough.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wendy me View Post
    I believe we will get better at this she should
    Know that it’s going to be hard to get usta but
    It know we could have some fun ...

    Fingers crossed.....��������������
    Reality check. The way things are tracking by your own words, she is unlikely to ever be all good with this. Any fun you can imagine is just that...your imagination. Some women just will not or cannot get their heads around this. The sooner you realize that yours is likely in that camp, the sooner you can begin to move on towards a (hopefully) healthy DADT situation. Based on what you have written, she is not likely to ever be participating in any way. Might as well get that going out for drinks out of your mind.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  20. #20
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    Wow Sara so what now cut my hair?
    Toss out my clothes ? Find a way to
    Lose my boobs ?

    Get my brain rewired to be male?

    Thinking things need to be moved to were
    A understanding works ...

    Or what ? Divorce sell everything
    Transition ? And toss everything away
    House cars beach house and grandkids ?

    I may not be complete right but Sara
    I am not wrong totaly ....

    Let’s hope for progress ...

  21. #21
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    You may have to ask yourself if you can live without her? You mentioned a divorce and in my opinion I'd try DADT first. Talk to her in a that's true to your heart but remember there are two sides of this whole thing. There is lots of give and some take that has to happen on both sides. Your live will change a bunch when she is fully retired and if she is not in on your dressing things will get very rough. You need to keep the lines of communication open, somehow some way I would ever mention divorce. You have to work it out as she is going to be spending a lot more time with you at home. After reading your writings I think there is more to this, but getting her to understand is not going to be easy unless you both can be adult about it and agree that that in yours n her golden years of retirement you are both going to have to work out something. Being snide in your remarks is not the way to reach her. Just my humble opinions from a cd whose wife is also retired.

  22. #22
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Cut out the hyperbole, no one suggested those things.

    If you cannot tell, I'm on Team Wife right now based on the limited information you have provided. And no, I'm not going to review over 31K posts spanning in excess of 13 years to learn what makes you tick. I barely skimmed 2017 and I grew tired.

    Allow me to share my admittedly superficial view of things, skewed of course in favor of your wife.

    You are older, retirement age. You have children. Grandchildren. The relationship has been around for quite a while. Your lives are intertwined on what seems to be a solid foundation. Regardless of whatever species of trans you might be, you have built this life around being a husband and father. You have a wife who by your own words is not keen on this Wendy person in the least bit.

    So what exactly is your endgame? If it is transition (I don't get a sense of that from what little I've read), then you are in the wrong section. My interpretation is that you are longing to have your cake and eat it too, that you wish to bring your feminine expression front and center in your current life and with your wife now that both of you are of retirement age. You want her to go out and play with you. Maybe you have been there (as in retirement) longer and are faced with losing much or all of the free time to run around as Wendy.

    Your wife has dealt with this for how long? 40+ years? Since before your marriage? These are important facts when putting yourself out there as you have done. Regardless of the amount of time though, I still think you are cavalier in both your actions and expectations. I'm just not seeing that she will come around based on your own words. You are making this all about you but what about her feelings? If it is all about you to the point where living and/or presenting nearly full time as Wendy is the highest priority, then serious counseling towards that goal is indicated, not to mention absolute honesty with your wife, your life partner, about where you see this whole thing going. Regardless of your own POV and/or endgame, take it to a very basic place...how much of your own hopes and/or expectations have been expressly communicated with your wife? Or do you plan to continue with the cutesy games of innuendo and beating around the bush that you have described thus far?

    I'm not suggesting in any way for you to change who or what you are. I'm just saying that your wife doesn't seem to be on board for the ride and you need to respond realistically, not with wild hopes and dreams. Is her vision of retirement going out with her husband as girlfriends? Is it sitting in your respective recliners with her husband presenting as a woman? She has known for years, what makes you think she can or will change now?!?!

    Where does my point of view come from? Personal experience. My wife loves me to the core of my being just as I love her. Yet I have come to an understanding with 100% acceptance that never in a million years will she be an active participant in my feminine expression. Cut my hair? Done that. DADT? I actually call our situation yeah, whatever (Y,W®) meaning she gives me my space to take as much or as little as I need...generally not in her presence. However, communication remains open and honest.

    This thing of ours has ripped apart stronger relationships than either of us have. What is it that you really want? What does she want? Can you compromise? Can she?
    Last edited by Sara Jessica; 01-03-2018 at 09:09 AM.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  23. #23
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    You are always Wendy!
    If there is a discussion explain its just part of you and do not make promises you can not keep.
    You both can work out what works for you both ... I know you can.
    As far as the laundry .... Since she is showing her displeasure how she treats the clothes how bout if you do Wendy's clothing or all the washing- if that's not what works between you chore wise - just let it be she's showing you without fighting .
    I know you are caring and thoughtful and it's just a hiccup in your routine - I know you love her and she has to underneath know this is part of you... Or now she will soon figure it out.
    Big hugs Wendy
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️


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  24. #24
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    I've been retired for a full ten years. My wife is semi-retired. She works a full day when she wants. Since March 2016 she has not worked often due to back surgery followed by cancer treatments. She is still regaining her strength. When I was newly retired Stephanie had plenty of opportunities to come out and play. Not so much now.

    I will attest there can be changes when the diversions created by working are gone. Issues which are squirreled away in the back of the mind start creeping out of their hiding places. Your view of retirement is to have Wendy run amok. Your wife has not appreciated Wendy's quirk for forty years. My wife has the same feelings. So for me it has always been DADT. DADT literally has meant not evidence of emulating a woman since she married her masculine man, not a feminine woman. No body modifications. No hanging dresses in the closet or lining shoes up at the foot of the bed. If I was to decide to enhance Stephanie's experience at the expense of my wife's feelings I'm fairly sure "retirement land" will not be pretty. What may have been tolerable for your wife while working may be come an intolerable situation.

    The comment made above (#9, Sherrie) concerning looking forward to retirement has to be looked at for BOTH spouses. Go ahead and let Wendy run roughshod over your wife. You make it sound as if your intentions are to wear her down. I suspect it will only lead to marital discord.

    And for Pete sake do your own laundry.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post

    And for Pete sake do your own laundry.

    No kidding. Both genders. You get it dirty, you clean it and put it away. duh

    I'm just not hearing any back and forth being presented here. What were you expecting a room filed with pawns chanting 'bad black queen' and 'yeah for white queen'.
    This sounds too much like a teenager mindset. I just don't get it. You come to a mixed gender forum and don't expect to have a femine emotional response to your postings.

    I have not read:

    1-- this is my ideal fantasy of life with a retired wife,
    2-- this is my ideal life as Wendy,
    3-- the is the part of non-Wendy that I want to preserve and nurture.

    As a former poster used to say, "life is a symphony and does not work without all parts in harmony". He/She had a vision and engaged in long conversations with SO and on forum working thru and is reported as now enjoying the better sounding life. Maybe the next step is to examine the range of sounds in different slices of life and then can focus on blending. Life is way way to short to endure disharmony
    All my dreams pass before my eyes with curiosity

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