Wife retireing Wendy?

[Wendy me]

Di how are you long time ...

Ok my wife not totaly into my fem side
Not excited abought Wendy....cool I can
Get that I do ... years ago we had talks
Abought this .. ..we did her big fear
WAsi was going to become a woman
and have surgery .., I told her then
I was not going to at that time and could not
Say for sure I would notat a latter time

She over the years found clouthing or fought me
Dressed ...or in male mode make up
Not cleaned off complete some eye liner or maskra
Not quite off ...

Fast forward to last 5 years and our beach
House .... I have spent at least. 4 to 5 days a week all summer long
Down there doing my Wendy thing
She was still working and went on weekends
With me ....

She has came down with family friends and coughs me coming home
Dressed....

I know she knows she knows I know she knows

Look this is my thought that this could be.
Fun ...

We go out for drinks or dinner and I always
Get mistaken for a woman my long blonde /gray
Hair ...and breasts yes I have had them
From my early teens ....she always
Tells me you take too long to get ready
To go any were ...and always says you take
Longer than a girl ....

Look this is who I am .... I am WENDY
Inside me I am WENDY....

Been through hell in this life always
Trying to hide this I was a good husband
Father to our two sons .... and a wicked
Cool granfather to my two granddaughters

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

So I say it’s been a long path I want to no I need to be Wendy
And Turing off Wendy not going to happen
A pause switch works... just as long as
it get turns on again...

I am not a cross dresser I am trans
without surgery I do this limbo stage
Because I care and love those around me more than
Doing what completes me... lol love me hate me
Try to get in my head good luck been trying
To do that for years ....

Not in trans groupe because someone here doesn’t think I belong

I came here a long time ago a totaly messed up chick
Found a home and became a member of the staff
Here and have a ton of everyday friends

Opened my heart cared way too much
Got hurt burnt nocked down and walked away

Depressed broken and wiped out

Came back here very slow ...starting to in a small way
Be like I belong .....could it be that I don’t
Belong I don’t fit in? ......

Thinking I belong alone .... a walk on the beach
In the sun or at night even in a storm alone
Is were I belong .... got to rethink this

[Sara Jessica]

Be careful with your words. Your decision not to transition doesn't mean your love for family is any more or less than a person who does in fact go down the transition path. It means your fear for loss of the life you love is greater than your need for transition. Again, I say that out of experience because I'm in the exact same boat.

Putting a continued possibility of transition out there, however remote it may be, may be honest but it is very unfair to your wife. She probably thinks daily at some point "is this the day my husband, my soulmate, tells me that he is going to transition into the female that he says is at the core of his very being?" Think about what that burden means to a woman who I doubt ever saw herself in such a situation with retirement looming. And if she doesn't think such thoughts, it is likely because she has buried all things trans deep into her psyche in an attempt not to even confront those demons. A woman of her age should be concerned with family, health and security that retirement has to offer rather than whether her husband of 40+ years is going to live as a female.

So be honest with yourself. What is the realistic chance that you will transition and spend the rest of your days as a female? To paraphrase Roger Waters, is this the life YOU really want? Once you honestly answer that question, you will be better positioned to address the needs of your wife and family. Regardless, you still have not shared anything which would lead an objective reader to conclude that your wife is going to be more accepting and/or participating no matter how much fun you think it will be. Fun for you, yes, but clearly not for her.

[Wendy me]

You would think years of dadt plan would end up
In a mess ... not saying that being disrespectful
To my wife’s feelings is a good thing and I get it
What persons get is dadt will end in a mess for our trans
Cd persons....

Being trans here I am on a cd forum talking to cd’s
Abought how a bad plan dadt is not good
See it’s not abought a bra panties and shopping
More so it’s abought slowly killing the person trapped
In here ...not going to kill Wendy can’t kill Wendy


Not understanded here or anywhere and
Not at home .....

See we’re do you turn when persons who
Say you can’t because your not trans
Life in limbo ....

[Beverley Sims]

Mmmm?

Yes, rough times are on the way if you don't tread carefully.

Post #22 has a few of the views I hold about this situation.

Call me reserved if you like.

[DaisyLawrence]

Here is my reply:

Read all posts by Sara Jessica again in date order and try to understand what she is saying this time.

Sara - thanks, you saved me a lot of typing.

[Kayliedaskope]

It's not about "killing" Wendy ... it's about what and who your decisions affect.

Again: are you planning on fully transitioning? Yes or no?

Your wife of forty-plus years is uncomfortable with this. Is that okay with you? Yes or no?

If this leads down the path to divorce, are you prepared both emotionally and mentally for this? Yes or no?

You feel unhappy as a man, and only feel like yourself when you are Wendy. Your wife feels like she is losing her man to another woman ... who just happens to be Wendy.

I am not trying to make light of this. I am a CD, not trans, and have no idea of what that path looks like. I have seen others on that path, and can understand why they are there, and can be supportive of their own personal journeys. Whatever the outcome may be, please know that I respect your own personal journey towards the person you want to be, and wish you the best of luck.

[Krisi]

If I were Wendy I would tone it down a bit. Way down.

Forget the sexy pink dresses and the heels. Wear flats and casual women's clothes. Jeggings and a simple blouse perhaps. Conservative jewelry. Light makeup, just lipstick and enough beard cover to conceal the beard.

As far as the "girlfriend shopping trip", put that on hold until she is comfortable with it. And again, tone it down, dress like a GG would dress.

[Wendy me]

Going to see were things go as far as ton
It down I am a beach girl so at the beach
And places there I dress like one dose light
Skimpy flowing cool as not to sweat no not ****
Like ... my make up ? My avatar is my every day look
Not bad for 60

[Pat]

[moderating] A gentle reminder that forum rules forbid ridiculing the way in which a person expresses themselves. An equally gentle reminder, that if you feel you've been picked on, the proper action is to push the report button (little triangle with an exclamation point) at the bottom of the post you object to and report why you feel it's a problem. The moderators will see it and respond accordingly. Or you can take it to Private Message (PM) Do not get confrontational on the forum. Please.

[TracyT]

Thanks Pat.

[Wendy me]

Getting started or restarted don’t believe in
Team Wendy not do I believe in team wife

Ok after a life time of being together
And every set back and positive that can happen

We talked no yelling no nasty things no blame
We talked I told my wife that I have known
Abought this part of me from age 4 or 5
And it’s not going away ... but we need
To make a understanding ....

I asked her what she wanted .....

She said no dressing around our granddaughters cool
I don’t and don’t plan on it .... she said
She would not want me to dress all the time. Cool
We can wok this out ...

Then she got all worked up and said I am scared
Your going to be a woman ... I said I promise
That I won’t and if that were to be a thought
We would need to talk big time...

She said promise ? I told her I love you
And I don’t want to hurt you...

She said you know we can go to our beach hous together
Every outher week ... you can do a little of your thing
And the outher week you can go do your thing without
Upsetting things

Think team us is going to be ok

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Wendy

I am so glad to hear you have come to an understanding which suits both of you.

The future seems bright.

Good luck to both of you.

[Stephanie47]

I believe you and your wife have struck a good resolution of the issue. Both of you have made a reasonable accommodation of both spouses' needs.

[Di]

I just felt in my heart you two could figure something that will work for you both! I'm so happy! Just remember you are ALWAYS Wendy no matter what clothing you have on and this is who your wife loves. She seems to get it. Happy News!

[Wendy me]

Time will tell hope things go well
I am sure some bumps will happen
Not easy when one could do as they want
Now with us two retired bending not breaking

[Kayliedaskope]

Sounds like a solution - perhaps not an ideal solution, but a solution. Good job.