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Thread: Peaks and Valleys

  1. #26
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    4,382
    Re: arrhythmia - A LOT of things can cause this, as you know, including cholesterol issues, which you specifically mentioned. Estrogen in hormone replacement regimens can affect one part of the heart’s electrical cycle, but as far as I know hasn’t been looked at specifically in TS.

    Spiro is well-known for causing potassium problems (I’m affected) and sodium/potassium imbalances can also cause arrythymias and even arrest. You obviously don’t take Spiro, though.
    Lea

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    765
    @ Sarah:

    I’ve written before in the tg section....I had the desire to be a girl as a kid. It went away during high school, or at least I don’t recall thinking about it. Then after, while in college the feelings came roaring back, I started buying clothes, taking risks and really thought about transitioning. I was madly in love with my then girlfriend, now wife, and while she was ok with bedroom CDing, she freaked out at full female presentation.

    So I descended into denial and compartamentalization. The thoughts of actually living as a woman seemed like an unobtainable pipe dream. So when the thoughts crept into my head, I quickly changed the mental subject. I’m convinced the above plus staying really preoccupied with marriage, kids, college, grad school, buying/fixing/selling houses, career and hobbies all helped to keep the dysphoria at bay. plus I was super paranoid that if I ever looked for trans related stuff online, somehow people would discover my shameful secret.

    So I didn’t, until about two years ago. I read other people’s stories and reached the then terrifying conclusion I was trans. And so for the next year and a half i cycled through shame, depression, transphobia and GD that varied from very intense to background noise.

    I went to a few appts with a very experienced gender therapist, I met a variety of trans people in real life and I read blogs and reached the conclusions that:

    -My label doesn’t matter. It’s perfectly ok to have a back story of wishing to be a female, having dysphoria over it, but never believing you were one and if transitioned, to identifying as a trans whatever without claiming to be a woman. (just as it’s ok to believe you are in fact a woman if that works for you.)
    -There’s a lot of in-fighting and venom online amongst t people. haters be hating, can’t we all just get along?
    -I need to be out and about part time for now. It’s an identity thing for me.
    -I need to make progress...a glacial pace transition away from male.
    -I may end up full time, but not for a long time. I have stakeholders in my life and being fully out right now will have a negative effect on them that will be reduced or eliminated if I wait. I realize I’m lucky in this regard. I also realize, with the help of my therapist, that based on her experience, someone with my background may experience increasing GD and my timeline may have to compress.

    And so with the above, the gender misalignment is always on my mind but it’s not driving me nuts anymore. Occasionally my mind starts to drift down the woah is me path, why can’t I be full time, I would look just like her, I really don’t want to do xyz as a guy anymore, etc. I mentally refocus and think about what I am doing that’s positive. Being at work helps too.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by Nikki.; 01-04-2018 at 02:54 PM.

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