Sex related question / discussion

[Kate Jennings]

Just as you shouldn't beat yourself up or over analyze why you dress, I don't think one should worry or feel abnormal about their sexual desires when dressed.

For me, dressing can be a major sexual stimulation and often my desire is for a man. When dressed I am very turned on at the thought of orally pleasing a guy and I have a real desire to be penetrated. I have played with men when dressed, without any regret and yes, I'll do it again.

Enjoy the variation and embrace your desires. If you don't like it, don't continue.

[Luci]

Stephanie
I would have to say yes.
I would have to add that as time goes by I find myself being attracted to men while I am in drab.

[ChubbyLeahCD]

OP,

I think that’s normal. I too feel the same way. I am lucky that I had a gf who would indulge me that way but my wife doesn’t.
Do I wish she would or that I would be with a guy that way? You betcha!
Funny thing is, I do not like the idea of another CD doing that to me but a transexual woman with still the manly parts, that is an exciting idea

[ReineD]

... Anyway, when I feel like a hot, sexual woman, I want to have sex as women. - [snip] - I’m merely just wondering if I’m a little weird with feeling this way and then acting on the feeling.

You're not weird for this discussion board. The arousing part for most people is feeling sexually like a woman more than an actual attraction to a particular man.

I did a quick search of the largest threads on this issue (more than 200 posts) and you can read through them here (in date order):

I'm only allowed five links per thread, so you can copy and paste the last three link addresses into your address bar.

1) 07-24-2007: 29,472 views, 232 replies
Has any one been with a guy?

2) 12-21-2009: 149,749 views, 728 replies
Crossing dressing and dating guys?

3) 09-02-2010: 53,955 views, 217 replies
hey, how are my gay male crossdressers doing?

4) 06-19-2013: 41,790 views, 331 replies
Liking boys as a girl

5) 01-22-2014: 60,746 views, 455 replies
So... Just how straight of a guy are you??

6) 08-20-2015: 47,982 views, 305 replies
Have you been with a guy?
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?230852-Have-you-been-with-a-guy&highlight=dating+men

7) 03-05-2016: 41,849 views, 295 replies
Have you ever kissed a man?
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?237704-Have-you-ever-kissed-a-man&highlight=dating+men

8) 11-18-2016: 17,488 views, 287 replies
How Many are Straight?
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?245119-How-Many-are-Straight&highlight=dating+men

[michele4848]

my answer to your question is, if I was a born gg woman I would probably want a man (maybe not). as a transwoman or cd, a woman. however as you age your outlook changes. what you liked as a child, you hate today. and what you hated as a child, you love today. gay, lesbian or bi are just labels. if I were in my say early 20s, could pass or could transition, I might say be with a man(maybe not). these are things none of us will ever really know. michele

[Fiona123]

As I posted in another thread cross-dressing can be intensely sensual and sexual. There's nothing wrong with that and there's nothing wrong with dressing for pleasure. I could be wrong but I don't think our sexuality is defined by our sexual fantasies. I sometimes become aroused when dressing and think about what it would be like to be with a man. I too have gone solo. It's fun. But it's not who I am.

[michele4848]

I agree Isabella, in any loving relationship, you care more for the other than you do for your self. I must say that 3rd wife, (best of all), taught me what true love was and how to express it.

[sometimes_miss]

My sexual orientation doesn’t change when I dress as a girl. What it does is create a vehicle where I can express a feminine side of myself that is more tolerable than doing so in boy-mode.

And there we are. It's simply a way to embrace the homophobia by telling ourselves 'It's not REALLY me. It's just 'a side'. I can't stand the idea that I might like homosexual behavior, so I'll pretend that it's not what I REALLY like. We see this commonly here, the creation of a separate third personality or a 'side' of us, to project the homosexual feelings onto in order to distance ourselves from it.

I think many of us wonder about this but it's mostly a fantasy for most. We don't have a vagina so we could never really know the feeling.

It's the male viewpoint of what we think women feel. And, of course, it's wrong. Because women feel different about sex than we do. Many women routinely enjoy sex without orgasm. I don't think a lot of men would agree that, that is possible on more than a rare occasion when we aren't able to orgasm for some reason (exhaustion the most common). It's why women get so tired of the 'Did you come?' question so often posed by their male partners. We.....don't.....understand. Not most of us, anyway. Sex without orgasm? Blasphemy you say!

If a man is married (to a woman) but occasionally pleasures himself sexually (whatever way), is that "cheating"?

She would think so. Problem is, we can pleasure ourselves in a very, very short time. When we do it with her, however, many of us make a big production out of it in order to insure her pleasure. So the difference could be a couple of minutes on our own, vs usually over an hour with her. They don't understand that. Women, I think, severely underestimate how much effort a lot of us go through, for her enjoyment. And while I would agree that I enjoy all that time with her as well, when I have to be awake and back at work in three hours, and I'm horny and can't sleep because of it, I'm not looking for a sexual adventure. I'm looking for the commercial interruption instead of the full program.

I do not believe that anyone is cheating when they satisfy themselves sexually. If that was the case there probably would be only rare "faithful" relationships in this world!!

Women don't want to hear that. They want to believe that they are the only object of our affections. Even the knowledge that we think about having sex with other women, they consider infidelity.

Let's face it, half the homophobia out there is based on social pressure. Eliminate any chance of anyone knowing, and the story could be different.

Half? I'd say >95%.

I would have to hear that coming from several women to believe it. I have never had a woman ask me to perform anal sex on her.

Me neither. But working in a primarily female environment, I've been privy to a whole lot of girl talk these last 40 odd years, and have heard some very interesting things. In my experience, NONE of the women I've heard speak of it prefer anal sex (and nearly all of them dislike it for the same reason that I do; the smell. Poop odor is apparently a turn off for a lot of people, to the point where psychologists in the past have recommended that women who are in danger of being raped were suggested to defecate in their clothes to prevent the sexual act from occuring). Some tolerate it, and, much the same as oral, a lot of the ones that do, do it to please their partner; then, there's also the experience of knowing that the other person finds you so desirable that they get turned on by the though of having sex with you. This is a large part of the female sexual and romantic experience; that of feeling so wanted and seeing and feeling the evidence of the other person's lust and desire for you, that they can't help themselves but feel they NEED to have sex with you.

It is the desire for total surrender, which is very much a mind thing. Hence to totally surrender in the arena of sex would be seen as a female thing. Where a problem arises is that many women want to be the one to surrender and it is the man's job to dominate, especially in the bedroom.

And THIS is the heart of the entire crossdressing phobia; it's the generally assumed conclusion that people have about crossdressers, that we want to 'surrender' to another male, and the potential that because we enjoy it sexually, then of course we would do so in every other situation as well, disregarding our imposed responsibility to fight to protect our family, our mates, and our fellow soldiers. Men are supposed to fight to the death; NEVER surrender, especially in any situation where another person might be harmed if we did.

Clothing can be and often is sensual. I don't know about others, but I like to wear pantihose and rub my foot up and down my calf because I like the feeling.

Is it only because of the tactile effect, or it is more because it's WOMAN'S hose? They do make nylon men's socks that extend to the knee, but I dare say none of us would get the same result by wearing such things.

[ShyLibrarian]

I've read that alpha males (as just one example) nearly always have muscular tension that they're unable to alleviate. Cross dressing can simply create a situational desire to submit, leading to a euphoric relaxation of the musculature and a wonderful feeling of ease - becofe they head back to the commodity pit on Monday morning, or test iloting, or neurosurgery or whatever the average alpha male does.

That's apparently why cross dressers include captains of industry, admirals, judges, senior churchmen et alia

[kimberly c]

I enjoy dressing as a women and my feeling is that I want to have sex as a women and see nothing wrong with having it even if I do not have the right female parts. So called flying solo is one why to go but sharing this side of your desires with your wife would be a great experience. I take the role of the female in bed and my wife accommodates my every need. Do I feel gay no I feel like a woman.