We all have our reasons, origins, triggers as to why we dress, and in some way we are all trying to get in touch or embrace our feminine side. I remember asking a drag queen when I was still in high school if having sex with a guy would make me want to be a woman. Her response was "when you let a man have your body, you'll never be the same and you'll know what you want to be" and she was right!
Last edited by Shelly Preston; 12-30-2017 at 05:28 AM. Reason: too graphic
"the sex is in the HEEL"
There are some very interesting comments regarding your question.
1. Is going solo cheating? Are you denying your wife sexually? If you are not having sex with her, you are denying her! If you are looking for more than she is interested in having, that is a different story. To me the question is then, what or who are you thinking about? A fantasy which has her in it as the other person is not cheating. Another person instead of her in the fantasy is a different story...My opinion.
2. Clothing can be and often is sensual. I don't know about others, but I like to wear pantihose and rub my foot up and down my calf because I like the feeling. That is a sensual activity as it feels good on the senses. The feel of nylon lingerie has a similar effect, so I wear lingerie almost always. In my younger days those sensual feelings usually lead to sexual feelings that culminated in a solo act. With age things have changed a lot, which is good for the sensual side of things.
3. The sex is anal. The quickest and closest way to the Prostate gland is through the back door. Getting the wife to give you a prostate massage could be opening an opportunity to farther play in that area. Anal play obviously is enjoyed by many people, just look at the toys available in Adult stores.
4.Your sexual thoughts are your own and a part of you whether you are dressed or not...my opinion. Within your marriage the question is whether you act on those thoughts, or not. From everything I have read, I think it is time to have a talk about what is , or is not acceptable in the bedroom. Anything should be by mutual consent, being enjoyed by both of you.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
As other have commented here, what you feel seems normal under the circumstances.
If you and your wife have a happy, healthy intimate relationship, you might consider discussing this with her at an appropriate time & place. If she is interested in pleasing you and sharing the experience... well, "role reversal" is becoming more and more mainstream in the wedding chamber.
Lacy PJs
From what the o.o read, the feelings or fantasy isn't so much a man but the act of penetration. Fwiw, women commonly find anal to be pleasurable. There are more straight via guys who indulge in anal play of some sort then one might imagine. Not saying a majority, but enough to make it common. So while tgis may be tied into your cding, it could also very well be that it feels good to you simply because it's somewhat common among both genders and all specialities that it does.
Late wife and i would switch roles sometime when i was fully dressed and we found it enjoyable, she was with me when i was dressed and had a guy. I enjoyed the wife and me switching roles much much more.
My best thought is do not over think it. Try it, enjoy it or not, and go from there. You will not be at peace until you know.
I also believe keeping secrets amplifies the allure. If you are married I suggest you will ruin everything you value if you wrestle with this on your own.
So consider confiding in your SO.
I wouldn’t.
I don't think you're weird for feeling that way at all.
Everyone is different, but I feel ( as a few others have said) that's its more common than most people think.
Maybe very casually bring the subject up with her when you are in bed together and gauge her reaction.
I wouldn't say it shows youre gay or even bisexual as long as you are with your wife and don't cross over.
For me though,( I'm bi) I wouldn't say dressing makes me desire penetration any more or less, but it is exciting for
me when I'm dressing, doing my makeup,ect and my guy is coming over to pick me up or knowing we will be
snuggling on the couch with a nice bottle of wine and a good movie, wondering how the evening will end.
What delightful insight. Thank you Miss Paula.Originally Posted by MissPaula
I first tried coming to grips and understanding "what the hell was wrong with me" way back in the day. When I was a kid & young man, if you were feminine, felt girly, like girly things or were soft.... you were gay. I think the F word was most often used. But you get my drift. Everyone and everything "not manly" was labeled as homo.
For the longest time; most of my youth and my adult life, I wrestled with "what the hell was wrong with me". Why I had these feelings and compulsions. Why I had this need to do womanly things and wear women's clothing. In that exploration I thought I was gay, and yes..... I experimented.
I've made love to a man and had a man make love to me [in my misspent youth]. As Miss Paula says, it is an amazing experience that your body will never ever forget. It wasn't just the sensation of penetration that made it unique. It was the sense of total surrender; of being in the arms of a man and a total giving of myself.
That was a handful of experiences long ago To prove that a body never forgets, I've had erotic dreams (akin to wet dreams) involving recall of this sensation. The dream isn't so much a graphic sex or "porno" dream. It is a dream of FEELING, of having that same deep sense of surrender and peace.
I don't think it's so weird. I'd feel weird if I was living as a woman (full transition?) and leading myself to believe I was a male lesbian (of all things). One of my motivations for crossdressing is that I want to be a woman. I've always wanted to be a woman apparently. I don't find the fact so strange that someone who wants to be a woman or fancies themselves as a woman would want a man.
Last edited by IleneD; 12-30-2017 at 12:39 PM. Reason: quoted post edited
There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.
I am a CD with all my parts and no intention of going TS.
Yet, when I want sex as a woman, I have it the way they have it when they r alone. All that involves is for u to be tucked and you can use your imagination--------------
If anyone wants more details? PM me!
Last edited by Shelly Preston; 12-30-2017 at 05:20 AM. Reason: keep within the rules
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
MissPaula wow very intresting what your drag queen friend said. You got me thinking.
Very interesting.
How about when you're dressed and feeling completely feminine and thinking,
If I had the parts of a woman, and you have the desire to have sex with another woman.
Does that make you a lesbian ?
Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.
Rayleen
I think you can find many answers to your questions at www.crossdreamers.com. Check it out. It answered a lot of questions for me. As for self-pleasure, it's ridiculous to think that this can be bad in any way, with the exception of beco0ming so obsessed as to not being willing or able to satisfy the sexual needs of your partner.
I would have to hear that coming from several women to believe it. I have never had a woman ask me to perform anal sex on her.
Krisi
I have, on more than one occasion. I have literally been physically directed to that area. Having had discussions with many women about what they like, I have had several say they like it, a couple even prefer it. I have also heard many who say no way no how.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
I was supposedly a closeted straight Cder, until my wife and I divorced not that many years ago. I was dressed one night after my divorce and the urge to Explore what it felt like to be penetrated was overbearing. In my mind I needed to experience what it felt like to be woman during sex. The next day I went out and bought the appropriate eqipment
Well let me say this after a couple of months of self exploration, I took the next step and actually met a man and we had a wonderful evening together. Now I consider myself a gay man, though it is very hard to find other gay men who like Cders.
Last edited by Shelly Preston; 12-30-2017 at 03:28 PM. Reason: keep within the rules
I can attest to the relative accuracy of gendermutt’s statement. While “commonly” might be an overstatement, it’s certainly not UNcommon and as she mentioned, I too have met women who prefer it.
Yep. One referred to it as her "favorite". Another said "it's an exit not an entrance".
Endless varieties.
"Don't hate me just for wanting to feel beautiful."
I too can confirm that such people exist. I can't really say if it's common or not.
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
As I've said in other posts, when I dress as a woman something shifts inside me and I truly feel completely feminine, and along with that comes all the desires of a woman. It's an odd thing really, for as my normal, drab self I'm completely heterosexual and the thought of being with a man is nothing that interests me in the slightest. However, once I've done my male-to-female transition, once everything is right, once that last stoke of lipstick is in place and I'm feeling rather hot (as Stephanie does), being with a man is all I dream about. And in a rather amazing way, I again feel completely heterosexual.
Last edited by Robyn2006; 12-30-2017 at 12:21 PM.
When lost, alone, or blue I know I can always get through the day, for I've always another shade of lipstick to make things right!
There is one comment that seems to make sense when it comes to dressing totally feminine, and emulating being a female. It is the desire for total surrender, which is very much a mind thing. Hence to totally surrender in the arena of sex would be seen as a female thing. Where a problem arises is that many women want to be the one to surrender and it is the man's job to dominate, especially in the bedroom.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
I think that would be me.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
I have been dressing as a woman for 2 years and my wife is taking over the role as the man she has also taken her role as a aggressor in bed so I so I know about penetration I have enjoyed it once a week for the past 2 years that wouldn't have it any other way love you girls peace Lynda
I think the vast majority of members of this site have had these thoughts and am sure tat many have acted on them with self satisfaction. There is nothing wrong with this. Acting on them outside of yourself is another story that needs a lot of thought. Asking your GF, SO or spouse os something that none of us can advise on. Only you know the depth of your relationship and acceptance level. I would love to have my wife participate. Do I think she would - never. Would I ask her - never. Would I participate with another - never. It just remains a fantasy as it is for most of us,
No, but if they were truly a woman then it would. Having said that, when it comes to being somewhere on the TG spectrum, sexuality for many of us does sit somewhere other than simply straight or gay. I am not implying preference by this, simply that it isn't the straight up same sex opposite sex situation for us.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
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