Sex related question / discussion

[Stephanie43]

I’m a little reluctant to ask this question, but it’s been weighing on my mind. There was a thread pretty far back titled “have you ever been with a guy” or something along those lines. My question isn’t about that, but similar in nature I suppose. Bear with me here while I set up the question I’m trying to get to.

Sometimes when I’m all femmed out and I think I’m looking hot, I feel like a very sexual woman. Just to clarify, I don’t dress for sexual pleasure. I dress to be female. Anyway, when I feel like a hot, sexual woman, I want to have sex as women. Since I obviously don’t have a particular lady part, the sex is recieving. I fly solo in this department, mainly because I’m to embarrassed to involve my wife. When I’m feeling like a hot, sexual woman, I love the feeling of being penetrated as a woman. The penatrating sex feels really good, is super hot and at times can last awhile.

It’s not my intention by posting this to be crude, dirty or perverted. I’m merely just wondering if I’m a little weird with feeling this way and then acting on the feeling. I know this subject may be a little personal for some, but any feedback is appreciated.

[Stephanie43]

Just to clarify one of my comments. When I said “I fly solo in this department, mainly because I’m to embarrassed to involve my wife”, I meant being embarrassed about asking her to be on the giving end of penetration. She’s knows and is excepting of my CD”ing.

[prene]

I understand the feelings. I have them also but have never been with a guy or gal that way.

[Maria_mtf]

I would say normal for crossdressing and non crossdressing guys, based on my internet research. It's an area of pleasure so why ignore it.

[SamanthaToday]

I feel this way all the time, I can have sex with my wife when dressed, but its never as a stereo Male ...Female, its more Lesbian..

But a lot of times when dressed, I fantasize about being with a male, which is weird because I can honestly say I have never been in drab and seen a male and thought there's a guy I would love to have sex with.

But dressed up, absolutely I can see it.

[LaurenS]

I feel the same way, but it just seems to be normal or whatever to me now. Like Samantha, I don’t feel that way when I’m not dressed, but even if I did, it would be acceptable and logical.

Great observation articulated very well.

[sometimes_miss]

Having been molested as a child, but also having the same person as my only source of physical affection (not sex) as well, I grew up linking being penetrated with being loved, cared for and being taken care of. It made for some really confusing times when I grew older and couldn't understand why I wanted to be penetrated, but didn't actually enjoy it when it happened, no matter how prepared I was or using lube or putting it in carefully, it just didn't feel right.
We also have to deal with, as you suspect, the idea that women will automatically assume that we're either gay or just in denial.
If your SO is intelligent enough to be okay with crossdressing, perhaps put together some sort of explanation that you like the penetration and why. OR, encorporate some sort of penetration play (That's becoming more and more of a topic that women understand as they come to grips with their own G spot, which I believe corresponds to a man's prostate being stimulated as it's the same general area) into your straight lovemaking first.

[Fiona123]

Very normal & natural. Dressing can be a sensual experience. There is nothing wrong with that.

[Stacy Darling]

I personally don't see anything weird about what you do or how you feel.

I also believe that consenting adults pleasing each other or themselves is just another pleasure of life!

Stacy!

[Pat]

There was a thread pretty far back titled “have you ever been with a guy” or something along those lines.

I recall the thread. I'm not sure if it ended up being deleted (probably) or just locked. I seem to recall its end being pretty ugly. Keep in mind the Male to Female Crossdressers forum is a forum to support crossdressers/crossdressing, not a sex site. We specifically forbid mention of sex toys and ANY sexually explicit content. It's very easy for a thread to wander out of bounds and get deleted. Best advice: keep it vague.

[Jean 103]

First, warning, you may not want to go down this road, just saying.

I’m BI, have boyfriends, so for me this is normal.

But to something else you said. Clothing is sexual, or has a sexual component. It is an expression of it, in that it may say, stay away, Hi, I’m hot, along with other things. How you dress absolutely says something about you, that is why it is referred to as your stile. It is how you want to be seen, your statement or nonstatement.

[Krisi]

I understand the penetrating thing but for me, when I take off my hip and butt padding, my male parts are dangling and swinging and I can no longer pretend I'm a female. Dressed, there is still one option but I really couldn't ask my wife to participate in that.

[Samantha981]

Hi Stephanie, I'd say that I have very same feelings. When dressed up, feeling very much like a woman, and of course usually sexy clothing. I like to experience life as a women, so go out, get makeovers and interface with the world en femme. There are many more aspects to being a woman that going out shopping or getting pampered... intimate aspects have entered my mind and I also wonder what it would be like to experience sex as a woman. I too have been curious and have gone ahead with anal play - also solo in my case. And agree with the sensations / enhanced feelings from being on the receiving end. I don't include my wife, she would not be interested, I supposed I'd be a bit embarrassed to ask too. I started CDing later in life, and I wasn't interested in this this aspect until seeing myself dolled up and feeling womanly.
What I am getting to is that I don't think it is weird at all and maybe not all CDs are interested. But some of us have that same interest/wonder of what its like.

[Krisi]

I think many of us wonder about this but it's mostly a fantasy for most. We don't have a vagina so we could never really know the feeling. And many of us are married so we can't really go to a gay bar and ask some guy to "do" us just to find out what it feels like.

Now going back to the original post, here's a question: If a man is married (to a woman) but occasionally pleasures himself sexually (whatever way), is that "cheating"? Is he cheating with himself? And especially if he is dressed as a woman at the time?

[Sherrii]

Yes, I know how you feel, have the same feeling at times. But I don't know if I would ever want to actually be with another guy. Possibly a GG, playing the male part. But that hasn't happened either. Sherri.

[josie_S]

I completely understand Stephanie because I have similar feelings. I don't think it's "weird" at all. Then again you're (mostly) going to avoid judgment here.

I say enjoy your body as much as you can. The mind is the most erogenous zone we have!

[Nikki.]

You could be asking yourself a much deeper question, and to a certain extent, on the edge of the rabbit hole should you choose to jump in. Not knowing any of you background- maybe there’s not a gender component for you, it’s just fun and you’re just a crossdresser. If so, the following probably is meaningless for you. but, if your cross dressing is an expression of a deeper gender identity and you feel some conflict between your biological sex and your gender, then perhaps you may wish to explore further Or maybe you already have and this is already known to you.

As part of his research into transsexualism, Ray Bl@nchard* found some otherwise female attracted ts’ were aroused by the thoughts of or fantasies of sex with a faceless male- ie sexual experiences as a woman, but as an abstract concept, not as an actual realistic sexual fantasy with an identifiable man.

If your CD’ing is deeper than “just a crossdresser”, you may find yourself sucked in to those deeper explorations of gender and sexuality. I’ve come across some interesting, well researched and intellectual bloggers that explore this area. It's been worth my time, in a number of ways, especially in moving to self acceptance.




*I’ve read enough to believe RB wishes to portray female attracted mtf T* people as a bunch of sexually motivated perverts, so I refuse to post his name or his theory in any way that might increase his popularity.

[IamWren]

I have a niece (assigned female at birth) who is about as girly and female as one could get. Absolutely stunning looks. Everything about her oozes femininity and being a woman. And I know for a fact that she has absolutely no desire to have penetrative sex with a male because she is a lesbian and has felt this way since as far back as she can remember.

I don’t think strapping on boobs and a wig makes one’s sexual orientation change.
Dressing as a woman, simply creates a vehicle for having same sex experiences more tolerable to the mind.

My sexual orientation doesn’t change when I dress as a girl. What it does is create a vehicle where I can express a feminine side of myself that is more tolerable than doing so in boy-mode.

[Meghan4now]

Interesting.

Current pop psychology and relationship advice often suggests that hetero anal play, while not super common is somewhat acceptable. Now a lot of people will assign it the "ick" factor, and many have strong opinions.

If it were a standalone desire, it might have a better chance of flying. Let's just guess at 20%. Now if you add the crossdressing with it, then the partner may become alarmed. Things can add up. If CDING were to get 30% acceptance rate, then you could predict the acceptance rate by the product of the two. .2x.3=.06, or a 6% chance of acceptance.

Just saying.

[AllieSF]

Now going back to the original post, here's a question: If a man is married (to a woman) but occasionally pleasures himself sexually (whatever way), is that "cheating"? Is he cheating with himself? And especially if he is dressed as a woman at the time?

I do not believe that anyone is cheating when they satisfy themselves sexually. If that was the case there probably would be only rare "faithful" relationships in this world!!

[Teresa]

Krisi,
To answer your question if going solo is cheating. To give you my answer it would be no , after the change my wife lost all interest in any intimate contact , that was over ten years ago so being a fully functioning male what choices do I have . I have to admit I'm not 100% happy with the situation , so am I cheating or is my wife cheating me ?

As for the original question , no matter how I'm dressed I'm only interested in a relationship with a woman, I can't relate to a male to male relationship, although I admit I have AGP I have never considered myself hot , whether others have I can't say apart from I did have a pass made at me , which I found flattering but declined the invitation .

[michelleg]

I believe I commented in the other thread, that I have fantasized about being with a man when fully dressed as a woman, so for me personally I don't think it's strange to have those feelings, especially if you are feeling sexy in what you are wearing and what's wrong with feeling sensual and excited.

[Kristy 56]

I feel completely the same way when dressed. Never had the chance to act on it,and only feel that way when dressed. Can be very confusing and frustrating.

[Meghan4now]

I do not believe that anyone is cheating when they satisfy themselves sexually. If that was the case there probably would be only rare "faithful" relationships in this world!!

There is a school of thought that it does. Something to consider. 1. If the act then creates a barrier to the normal relationship sharing by way of substitution, or 2. The act degrades the special nature of the shared experience, or 3. The act becomes obsessive and excludes other expessions by becoming a necessity.

Just some things to consider.

[Meghan4now]

Tracii,

Let's face it, half the homophobia out there is based on social pressure. Eliminate any chance of anyone knowing, and the story could be different.