Jon,
If what you have is Gender Dysphoria and treating it by crossdressing isn't resolving the discomfort/distraction you feel, what else is left? If you read enough posts you find people who try to bury it with exaggerated manly stuff, risky behavior, alcohol, drugs, sex and the like. You also usually discover those things don't work in the long run. Some of us regularly go shopping at thrift stores or spend hours and hours on line here or on various Crossdressing related sites. Something in there may work to feed the needs you feel and if it works, more power to you.
But when none of those things works the suggestion to seek someone to talk with about it is good advice. That can be your spouse, another Transgender person or a professional counselor. There are options and in order to stay healthy and able to remain the same important part of your family, you need to find the ones that work best for you. It's not an admission of failure in self control or acceptance you are going to transition or anything else construed as negative. It's the recognition that you deserve to be happy, healthy and productive and seeking help of any kind is a positive step.
