After reading all the posts, I have to say I feel, I do definitely wear my dresses better than my SO wears hers. I hope like hell she never finds out i said this though.
After reading all the posts, I have to say I feel, I do definitely wear my dresses better than my SO wears hers. I hope like hell she never finds out i said this though.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/
Tracii,
I really don't understand your comment, I'm going to repeat again that these are not my words but comments passed on by GGs, some have not been SAs.I'm also going to repeat that I never expected these comments when I first set foot outside the door and found the confidence to take and show pictures.
Again I'm also going to repeat that I have not ever said I wear women's clothes better than a woman but women have said it to me .
My main aim now is not an ego trip but to show members who are hesitant to take their first steps that these things are possible . I feel I owe something back to the forum and one way is to help others , why is it members have to decry these actions with putdowns and sarcasm ! We are all somewhere on the TG road some need a helping hand to find themselves , don't forget this is a HELP forum !!
Last edited by Teresa; 12-31-2017 at 03:08 PM.
I never mentioned your name Teresa and I support what you are doing as far as your life.
Always be an open book is the best way to be and I agree that others can do this just as you and I have.
Last edited by Pat; 01-05-2018 at 12:39 PM. Reason: Please handle personal comments via PM
Teresa, I also hate jeans but some people look great in them.
I think like me you prefer what I would call a smart but casual look for daytime. It takes time to find what suits you and what does not. Clothes come in all styles, shapes and sizes Like everything we all make a few mistakes, but we learn and move on. I am sure you want to look the best you can. Sometimes less is more as you don't have to go for all out glamour. The sales assistants I am sure will be glad to meet Teresa. I am sure the question on transition was out genuine curiosity as it is a lot more common than it used to be.
Good Luck for the future.
The vast majority of people will treat you like any other woman. You will always get a few who will be rude or ignore you.
Well it's now 2018 and I think Teresa you're in for a memorable year. I would dearly like to be a fly on the wall the day you first head out as full time Teresa.
I think there's a little bit of envy in me that can remember the butterfly feelings I had the first time I stepped out the door to spend the entire day out in the muggle world enfemme. That frisson of anticipation, the surge of adrenaline as I stepped out the car to head into a shop for the very first time, these are memories I'll treasure for a very long time.
Like you I write to offer support to those wanting to take their next steps along their CD'ing journey. I know it's not for everyone, stepping out is something you either feel a need to do or don't. No one can or should force anyone to do so.
Getting back to the post. I think there's more than a grain of truth in us wearing women's clothes better if only because for GG's they're the norm and like us in drab, things we just wear without giving it a second thought. We I suspect give each thing we put on while enfemme more thought. Everything has to be just so. As near perfect as we can make it.
So 2018, SA's of the UK look out. Teresa's coming!
I think that a crossdresser who thinks he wears dresses better than the average woman is fooling himself. True, you can find some women who don't look very good in a dress but the average crossdresser doesn't look good in a dress. For one thing, unless you're wearing appropriate butt and hip padding, you won't look good in a dress. If your boobs are too big or too high, you won't look good in a dress.
When it comes to looking good in a dress, women have a huge advantage over crossdressers - they are starting out with a woman's body. The sort of body the dress was designed for in the first place.
Krisi
Teresa,
Thanks for sharing another one of your great experiences; and I truly appreciate the bais for your sharing...
Your sharing is encouraging to me and has helped me a great deal - THANK YOU my friend.Originally Posted by Teresa
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't know if we wear skirts and dresses better than women, but it seems we get more practice.
Women have slowly moved to wearing pants more and more often because of convenience, comfort and warmth, so dresses and skirts aren't their first choice most of the time. With us, it's our first, second, third and often only choice. With that practice we manage to pull together outfits that flatter us and get rid of those that make us look like guys. We also take more of an advantage of padding and restraint to compensate for our build, long arms, etc, and make the dresses and skirts look like they should. If a woman and I were to just "throw on a dress" she would win hands down. But I never just throw on a dress if I'm going to be seen by anyone and it would take a lot of effort before I could level the field.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Krisi,
Perhaps you could explain why women have made this comment on many occasions to me, as you well know I don't do lower padding but it doesn't make any difference . I'm going to repeat the story yet again about a conversation with Jo from my local bridal shop. When I mentioned CDers using hip and butt pading she just laughed and then added , " What makes you think we want to carry all extra baggage around with us, she then added she was envious of my figure and legs and the fact I could slip into a size 12 and look very convincing. Margaret the senior partner just nodded and added that was her opinion as well.
Whether you think I'm fooling myself or not I will be out totally in public in the next few weeks dressed appropriately and going about a daily routine .
Helen ,
Thanks for your reply. As you know I am out socially and have been for two years but I appreciate there is a difference in meeting the public in a hotel situation and meeting them in the street . It would be unfair to say I'm not nervous it will be a little different because I have to learn the art of dressing down rather than dressing up. Which brings me back to the theme of this thread , having to accept trousers of the right style for me. The soft cord ones were lovely to wear which is something Shelly commented on as an alternative to jeans .
Michele,
Thanks for that I do feel some of longer serving members she stick around and hopefully give some support, I know it's not easy coming to terms with all this and I have a major question I'm being posed with now .
People often say things that they don't mean just to be nice or in the case of sales people, to please a potential or actual customer. My wife once told me a skirt looked better on me than it did on her. It didn't. Sales people just want to make a sale. Or compliment someone so they will come back and buy more things. Selling you a dress is money in their pocket.
If you're not wearing hip padding, you either have unusually large hips for a male or you are fooling yourself. Again, the sales person is going to say what she thinks you want to hear. If you think padding doesn't make a difference, try this: Take photos of yourself from the rear (and front if you want to) wearing the same dress both with and without hip and butt padding. Look at the photos and see the difference. One day I may do this myself and post them just to clear this up. Another thing you can do is measure your bust, waist and hips and compare your measurements to a women's sizing chart. The results might surprise you.
Of course you can think what you want, believe what you want and do what you want. I'm not trying to criticize, I'm trying to help. Not just you, all crossdressers.
Krisi
Wow, you are way over thinking this.
This kinda of things happen to me all the time.
People are people and react in kind.
I'm thin and will get this type of reaction. It is about you , but it's also about them, I try not to rub it in and will give them a nice comment. It's just what girls do.
Keep posting, I for one follow your journey. I can't wait to see how you see things like a year from now.
Love Jean
Krisi,
With my forms in I'm 37" bust 31" waist 37" hips , a UK size 12 . Look at my avatar to see how it balances up, does it look like I have a major problem ?
To repeat my comment, not all these comments have come from sales people , I know when someone is trying to soft soap me and when they are being honest . All this is going to be academic when I go out full time , I will be a trim woman , there are plenty about , and I'm totally happy about that look .
Wow wee. It amazes me how some 'grown ups' simply have to have the last say. Lets stop beating about the bush, Krisi made perfectly valid points in posts 34 & 38. It's a free world and she is entitled to her opinion regardless of whether or not you like it Teresa. For that matter, so did Tracii G in post number 23 (which was a statement of her own opinion and was NOT a personal criticism) but now you have alienated her from the forum. And yes, I've looked at your avatar (I couldn't miss it as you have posted about it like a gizillion times now) and no you don't have a major problem but yes I think a bit of hip padding would improve things even more (just think of all the positive comments that will bring when you are out and about full-time, if that ever happens). These replies you don't like are just general comments and peoples opinions, they are not personal attacks, it's not about you. The world is a better place if we all have different opinions, variety is the spice of life. Get over it already.
Geez! Happy new year!
Daisy,
Tracii and I are good no problems, all sorted . Sometimes it's hard from replies if it's a general opinion or a deliberate contradiction , people should say in their replies if it's only their personal opinion otherwise these misunderstandings can occur .
May I ask why you added that cryptic comment ," if that ever happens !" I'm not intending to make these changes to my life to prove or disprove anything to you or anyone else . They are my needs that I'm dealing with the best way I know how .
Just a point of note the skirt in my avatar didn't have room for any extra padding , besides I will never use it , I intend to keep my appearance as natural as possible, being out for two years has been an eye opener , I truthfully did not expect the comments I have received , it's given me the confidence to believe in myself so why do I need to make changes ? There will be enough going on, I have to be happy and comfortable with my look and believe me I am .
MMM, that is an interesting question. I may have to have friendly competition with my wife and have my girls be the judge. I will post up the results.
Kelsey
You can ask but forum rules prevent me answering I'm afraid.
I'm gald you've got all this extensive experience out in public over the last few years, it would have been a terribly daunting prospect for you to go full-time in the next few weeks if the only time you had been out dressed was to a trans friendly social group in a distant hotel. It must be very confidence buiding to know you'll not only blend in but look better than most GG's. I'm happy for you, you must be very excited.
I'm also glad you're not intending to prove anything to me, perish the thought anyone would waste their precious life trying to do such a thing.
I propose to you a strategy: Lose the battle . . and win the war.
Although I believe a being female competition versus an actual female is a futile effort, if you do happen to have a chance of winning or getting close in said competition, don't...
If your wife stomps you so badly, that she takes pity on you and tries to help you become more female . . .
- Lydianne.
Lydianne, That thought was there. Plus the girls may just side with mom.
Kelsey
@Kelsey: You and I are going to get along just fine
.
My thinking was that your daughters might have sided with you because of the chaos / fun factor. But I think in a CD-versus-GG with all things equal: makeup amounts, clothing investment, wig usage ( if allowed ), addons, etc, the result should really only go one way.. and the female most likely wouldn't need to use it all. At least, I believe that.
From your point of view, I think there's more to be gained from an extremely heavy defeat.
- Lydianne.
Daisy,
Maybe you should PM me if you really need to get it off your chest !
The distant hotel is only twenty miles away and my new home is only a stones throw away ( Grantham, Lincs ). Incidentally your are always welcome to join us if you happen to be in the area .
Looking better than most GGs isn't my words and I truly did not expect to be told it on one occasion let alone several and not all by SAs that may or may not have something to gain . I admit it has given me the confidence to attempt to run an art group, that is what I'm honestly excited about . That is when I will find out how well I'm accepted not as a true woman but an approachable TG person trying to fit in with society .
Many years ago, the first girlfriend I ever told about my CDing, let me wear her clothes. (I never asked her - she just said I could wear them - except for a few forbidden items). She had a really nice dress that she loved and looked great in, but suddenly stopped wearing it. When I asked her why, she simply said "because it looks better on you!".
I have to admit that it was a better fit on me than on her because she was quite petite and the dress was a standard fit.
A few weeks after we split up, she turned up at my place to return a duvet that she had borrowed. After she left, I unpacked the duvet from the bag she'd brought it in, and folded up inside the duvet was the same dress.
HollyGreene ,
What a lovely story , that dress must have felt very special after that .
Some women do not have big hips and there is an actual female body shape used by stylists called 'boyish', and there are clothes that particularly suit this figure. If a man were to wear a dress that suited this figure it is perfectly feasible that he could look better in it than a woman with big hips. Some women don't look good in clothes because of the way they hold themselves - it is nothing to do with their shape.
I have been told by women that I look better in some outfits than they do but they are usually trying to sell me these clothes. At a recent fashion event I was told by a dress designer that I looked better than half the women there but I think that was more the effort I had gone to. I have had a female friend refuse to wear a skirt when out with me as she refused to put her legs next to mine. But most of the time remarks suggesting you look better in a dress than a women are the women just being nice. No need to analyse it to death and no reason not to take pleasure from it, but to take pleasure from thinking you actually do look better than women is going into dodgy territory. Maybe sometimes you do, but you should not need to put women down to big yourself up.
Susan,
I assume you missed my reply to others but I did mention that I have never claimed I looked better and some of the comments have not been made by SAs besides it wasn't part of a big sell . I've also said that I never expected so many comments like this from GGs I've only been out for two years and honestly thought I could be getting too old to come out at all.
I've had some very kind replies to this thread and some questioning my motives and reasoning but in a few weeks I will be totally out no matter how good or bad I look . My avatar is the true Teresa lets see what the public think on a day to day basis .
Teresa - I replied with the intention of defending you not criticising you. People do say the things you claimed - I then went on to discuss the topic itself. Apologies if it came out wrong.
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