What is my situation ?

[Danielle_cder]

Lots of us are in a datd situation,

I’m not really sure of my situation... My wife knows but doesn’t want to see me totally dressed. I can wear hips forms in front of her but no wig/make up. Now that we have children I don’t dress up as much/or out n about around the house. I still get fully done up on friday nights when every one is asleep. I always tell her/kind of ask is it ok if I dress up tonight, she never says no or seems to care. I’m not really sure what to call it I guess it’s some what of a dadt but I do tell...

What do you think?

-d

[Tracy Irving]

Sounds like you are ADT (Ask but Don't Tell her that you want to dress). If that is working for both of you then go for it.

As for children, my wife and I agreed that I could wear what I wanted until he turned three years old. After that I chose to not dress in his presence.

[Pat]

I suppose I'd describe you as closeted but out to your wife. If you understand your situation, does it need a label?

[Danielle_cder]

Thanks pat!

I wasn’t really sure...maybe ask but don’t show?

[docrobbysherry]

I believe yours is what is properly called, DADT, Danielle. U tell her when you're dressing and she tells u if she cares.

What many here call DADT, is actually, "Sneak, Lie, and, Hide!"

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Danielle

Ask but dont tell anyone else,

Oh and I dont want to see too much either.

I think your wife is happy to accept things with certain limitations. For some a wig is the last straw. As long as you both know where the boundaries are , I suggest you enjoy it.

[Danielle_cder]

Hi Shelly,

I respect her never pushed or made demands about my activities. I guess I just don’t want her to think I’m sneaking around doing things behind her back. I guess I leave the door open and it’s not a shocker if she gets out of bed and sees me

-d

[audreyinalbany]

that's a problem for a lot of us here. My situation is somewhat similar. My wife knows but doesn't want to see it. Still I'm hesitant to ever bring it up to her...maybe I'm just self conscious about it...embarrassed by it or something...as a result, I feel like I'm hiding or deceiving her. If she asks if I dressed, I tell her, but I don't volunteer much.

[Micki_Finn]

I’d call it ambivalence maybe? I don’t know that it’s super important to find a label for it. What’s really important is if the situation works for you.

[RADER]

My wife and me had a set of rules;
Do not dress outside of the house, as to not embarrass her.
I could dress on one of the week end day's/nights.
I was allowed to wear a baby doll nightie to bed.
This worked for me.
Rader

[kimdl93]

ADT or maybe ask, don’t see/show. You’re accommodating her and she is accommodating you, so I guess it’s all good

[Beverley Sims]

Closeted for now, maybe things can change in the future.

Just take care and don't push it too much.

[BrendaPDX]

If you can wear pads and forms around your wife, you are in a better situation than me. Be happy that you have so much more than some, not less than others. Thanks for sharing, Brenda

[Tina_gm]

Still basically DADT. It's nearly impossible, although some members have achieved it, but very hard to never have any communication of any kind. Little things like informing one another about when, or that their plans changed and they will be home at a different time are only ways in which the two people are being considerate of each other, and personally I don't think breaks a DADT arrangement.