Who's the rabbit in the headlights ?

[Teresa]

I know some members have nave been caught out like a rabbit in the headlights not knowing whether to stay frozen or make a dash for the nearest rabbit hole .

I've not been in that situation when dressed and my experiences of meeting the public is women very often give you a knowing smile as if you've discovered one of their female secrets , the men on the whole don't make eye contact .

I'm smiling while I type this to recall this recent event .

I was dressed and just entering the hotel main entrance while a large guy was heading out from the reception , he didn't know what to do , which way to step and where to look , he really was the rabbit in the headlights on this occasion ! I just looked him in the eye and smiled and thanked him for holding the door but did he really think someone half his size could eat him for breakfast ?

I now realise there could be a footnote to this, I am making the assumption that he read me straight away !

According to replies I received in another thread I'm kidding myself anyway certainly not wearing any lower padding and resembling the Michelin Man I couldn't even resemble looking like a woman !

On the point of guys making eye contact , Carole and I stayed over after the Xmas party and dressed for breakfast . A lovely young couple stopped to talk to us , they had been attending another party but gatecrashed ours because no one was dancing at theirs so joined us because we were all bopping away . I made a remark about men and eye contact because this guy was looking straight in the eye when he spoke , she let slip that he was an officer in the army and so that explained it . It was refreshing to have this contact with a couple and talk about being TG in this way .

[docrobbysherry]

Stateside, we refer to, "Deer in the headlites, look", Teresa-----

[mykell]

hi teresa,
last year i attended the keystone conference in harrisburg, their were 780 registered trans folks in attendance and im sure some of the repeat attendees dont bother to register any more so perhaps 1000.

so as time goes the numbers increase, wed thru Sunday....it was amusing to see the cis men in the crowd, after they clocked us they realized they were outnumbered.....they then would default into horses from horse drawn carriages with blinders on......they looked straight ahead and at a rushed pace.....it was as if they made eye contact with us they would turn gay or or want to dress like us......good times....

[Jaylyn]

It's deer in the headlights is what the saying is in Texas also. I've always thought if I was out I'd be the one walking around with the in the head lights look in my eyes but Teresa I've never thought about those that make me would have the look in their eyes also.

[Allisa]

My theory is they believe that if they look us in the eyes they will "catch" it.

[Nikki A.]

I also sense the same thing when out and about. You're a stranger to them and they don't know how to handle it. Anything different throws them for a loop. They can't complement (fear of saying the wrong thing, or looking interested) and don't know what to talk about.

When I first started attending the church I now go to (very vanilla but nice and accepting), I had no interaction with most of the men, but the ladies were basically all nice to me. There was another TG member there who while very nice, seemed to push on CD/TG rights a bit too hard for some members, no other interests or passions. She had brought me into the church, she has stopped coming here (and I do miss her). Maybe some members thought I was the same way. However as time progressed I made it a point to get involved with the men and ladies in conversations. Now I wasn't so alien to them, I could talk sports, cars, everyday news and events. Now, maybe I dress funny to them, but we talk as people. One older gent, after quite a while came up to me and admitted that he never really talked to me because he didn't know what to call me. I said Nikki or my my male name whatever he was comfortable with. Mind you I usually sit next to him and his wife.
He now uses my my male name, one of the few that do. However we now talk before the service begins, and I can see that he's more relaxed around me than before our chat.

[Teresa]

Lisa ,
I forgot years ago about it being a contagious disease , my mum forgot to warn me !!

Thanks for the correction but around where I live it's definitely rabbits , we're infested with them ! They undermine railway lines and road sides and destroy acres of crops , most farmers use their 4 X 4s with roof lights or hand lamps to pick them out at night , funnily they don't like making eye contact either but I can't blame them !

As some of you may have read I intend to run a painting group from my home as Teresa , it will be interesting if any male members sign up , I'm expecting mostly ladies as they form the majority of the class I attend at the moment .

[Stephanie47]

My theory is they believe that if they look us in the eyes they will "catch" it.

I'll agree. It seems most men avoid contact with gay men and presumably cross dressers too. And, it does not have to be openly displayed. Just the knowledge seems to tur most of them off.

[Gillian Gigs]

I think that almost all guys are drawn by sight to a skirt and legs. A guy in a skirt, or CD'er going the whole nine yards throws them into confusion. So what can they do, but look away and hope any attention is not drawn to them for looking. Homophobia is a major problem and fear in the North American culture, with most men not knowing how to deal with it. So how do they deal with a passable CD'er? They think that CD'ers are gay.

I many years ago knew this gay individual who lived in a house with several others, one of being a cousin. He sold good 'weed' and they had great house parties. Seeing how he interacted with other guys at parties, and how they interacted with him was very interesting. Once guys knew who he was, there was little to no eye contact, or interaction. It was the unknowing guys that were interesting to watch. There reaction varied from the deer in the headlights, to revulsion, to anger, to confusion, to...well you name it. These were young 20 to mid 30 in age guys on the "hunt", that became the "hunted", so they didn't know how to act. As men age, they still "hunt", they just don't shoot anymore. I was married at that time, so he took no interest in me, but I wonder how I may have reacted otherwise. Women had no problem with him and interacted fine throughout the evening.

What I am saying is that our culture has trained men into certain behaviors and it is not easy to break free of the molds. Just look at the sexual issues that are coming out in the news regarding exploitation. Or how about the guilt many CD'ers have because of what their parents told them regarding clothing choices. A lot of this is a result of how boys were raised, including "hunting practices". Things are changing, but it will take time to get beyond the deer in the headlights phase. How do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time, how do you change the world, one person at a time!

[Bobbi46]

Not something I would like to happen again in a hurry, once is enough, back in the summer it was a lovely hot day the front door was open and I was having a nice cup of coffee, skirt,blouse bra forms, the works when unexpectedly a friend of mine came to sort out my PC. The surprise for both of us is a thing of memories!!

[kimdl93]

One morning early in my emergence, I was walking our dogs, casual but fully en femme, and round the corner came my neighbor on a bike. My dogs would pretty much identify me in any case, so I figured ‘busted’ said “Hi” and continued on my way. I would seem this guy at least once a week, often engage in conversation, but that encounter never came up.

I dont suppose he had he had anything to say about it.

[Beverley Sims]

I was twenty and an old girlfriend was introduced to me whilst I was dressed.

After the encounter I asked my female entourage at the time what her reaction was.

She did not recognise me and told the others she wished she had a figure like mine.