I am well, I woke at o dark 30 this morning wearing my nightime bedwear, yes I am dressed, I know I'll not walk away from this as many dont it is a part of "me & my normal" I hadnt bought anything for quite awhile, last anyone who knows me I bought a new/used car, its a pretty car by most peoples definition and I love the car,( I bought a pair of beautiful stiletto boots from ebay, red/brown, brushed metal 4 1/4 heel by Aldo in size 40) I suppose my "focus" could be viewed as a fault by some, I tend to focus 110% in directions of interest, I was and am still thankful for the car as it brought me a passion and anchor back into my life I really needed, I found some acceptance in public thru some car clubs and new friends, its funny what you observe in people and can see when you know yourself, we all seek and need some amount of acceptance. So my "pretty" car lead to a second, many things I feel great attachment for Ive realized I aquire 2 or more of, lol, the 2nd required more attention than the 1st requiring a full repaint along with bodywork, she yes they are she's, (to pretty not to be if you ask me) My local friend who knows about me pointed out my focusing... I apologize to my "friends" here as I suppose we all have our comfort factors and or reasons for behavior, I found acceptance here for what most in public would deem abnormal or weird, I found this in myself as well by coming here, I am still happy & doing fairly well, I still get restless, for the most part Im not lonely and enjoy being solitary as it allows me to be me, also being a Leo I have the traits of the sign both good & bad, Ive been trying to explore me, understand me, I think we all do, I am grateful for being able to come here , share my thoughts and gain the level of happiness in my life we all deserve. So the car lead me to new friends and activities, Ive always liked cars and they do give me something to do I deem positive, I need my anchor, the 2nd was bought to fix and sell, which lead me to a situation in a female friend looking at the car and me asking her out, which in later thoughts lead me to being terrified, after 2 visits to court with the ex, being miserable for so long I dont always find somethings that most would want so fun anymore, she is nice and not hard to look at, we are friends on facebook, I know she has had ex problems like I have and been in court as well, I havent followed thru which likely has also lead me to dressing more... its winter & I fall back into routine still anyway, having incorporated girl clothes into my daily wear anyway, I wear girl jeans pretty much all the time now, and sometimes underwear too, the 2 go together better, Ive gained weight which I dont like much, middle age spread finally coming on, disappointing as the wardrobe that followed my acceptance doesnt all work anymore, clothing isnt a cheap need, lol, I have a the layer of fat most people have now and am not happy with the way somethings look on... I still think about here, just not daily anymore obviously, I got my definition, yes I am a guy with a fetish, but I like to own pretty things and wear them, my sneaker collection is about where it was, yes I love shoes, always been a weakness, especially heels, I need to thin my boots down some.
To be comfortable with and unashamed of me is priceless and again I thank being able to come share my thoughts and the relations Ive gained being here, I am still a work in progress, forgive me my faults please.