Beards

[Jasmine Rose]

I have only recently changed from being in the category of "I have a lingerie fetish" to the category of "I like to dress like a woman because it just feels good to do it even without the sexual component". I have worn a full beard and mustache for over 5 years now, and it is a big part of how I see myself when I am my masculine self. My beard is about 6 inches long and very full.

While I have been getting more and more in touch with my feminine self, I am not sure I ever want to stop being my masculine self at least part of the time too. Shaving off my beard would be a very extreme thing for me to do, and I am certainly not going to do it on an impulse. If I ever do shave it off, it will be after thinking long and hard about the pros and cons of it.

On the other hand, wearing a beard makes it very hard to look at myself in the mirror and feel very feminine. Feeling feminine is something that is increasingly important to me.

I know many of you in this community dress as women and go out of the house. That is just not something I can imagine myself doing without first shaving. It may be something I don't ever do. On the other hand, being dressed in public might be something that I decide I do want for myself in the future. I am definitely still trying to figure out who I am and what I want to become.

I would really like to hear your thoughts and ideas about beards and crossdressing.

[suzanne]

First, I do not have a beard or mustache. When I put on a dress or skirt with the intention of going put, I do not try to look like a woman. I try to be the best, most tasteful, presentable version of "man in a dress" that I can be. That's my style and it makes my feminine side very happy to just get out and feel the cool breeze on my waxed legs.

My point is this. There's plenty of room in this world for you to express yourself in any way you like. But I want to urge you to be as tasteful as possible. So a Duck Dynasty beard probably won't go as well with a dress as a more groomed look. But get out there. You might be surprised at how easy it is once you overcome the fears you have been raised with.

[Pat]

We have a number of people on this site who crossdress and have facial hair, so not worries there. Do what you like -- if you decide to need to change, change. If you don't, don't. There are no rules you have to follow or committees you have to satisfy.

[Joni T]

I had a full face for over 20 years. Best thing I ever did was getting rid of it.
Jon

[Tracii G]

I had a beard, mustache and or long sideburns from age 17 until age 53 and the day I shaved it off I was so glad to see it gone.
The facial hair has nothing to do with being a man or exuding masculinity.
To think you can't be a man's man unless you have facial hair seems strange to me now.

[Paige Dehart]

Really facial hair or no facial hair is a matter of personal choice. As much as I loved my So's mustache and goatee it had to go because it was in the way.

[Susan Smokes]

I had a full beard and facial hair for most of my adult life, but soon after I started dressing, I began shaving everyday.

[Drew GB]

I too have a beard and mustache and have been plagued with this dilemma as well especially since my wife has only ever know me with it.

Funny story. Once for Halloween I was going to go as Scotty from Star Trek and since he has no beard well off mine came. Unfortunately I did not warn my wife I was going to do this and when she got home and saw me she ran into the other room and screamed “that’s not my husband” I thought she was going to call the cops till I saw her poke her head around the corner and then whip back saying “I will not look at you till it grows back!” I laughed but sure enough it was about a week or so till she would look at me again.

Anyways I just got a haircut today and one of the things said during my chat with the hairdresser is it’s just hair it will grow back. So for me I will be taking my facial hair down in stages till I feel I am at a stage where it is the last piece of the puzzle to passing in public. Then I will take it off and if need be afterwards I can let it grow back or not depending on how I feel at the time. I do remember that when I took it off that last time I did look 10years younger which is always a bonus. The only thing I know for sure is this time I will give my wife plenty of warning.

[Lucy23]

I keep a short full beard and a few people have told me that it looks good on me recently. I have a beard just because I like it that way. As for the crossdressing part, I'm a man in the dress and again, I like it that way. I want to wear women's clothes yet I want to present as a man. I'm not out, mind you.

This is where you and I are a little different because I don't have the need to feel feminine. Yes, I can strike a pose or walk in heels in a certain "womanly" manner, but it wouldn't be me.

You could say that I have a really "feminine" style - my clothes are pretty much a definition of feminity in society, you know, heels, tights, dresses, pretty underwear - but on the whole when I'm dressed I don't feel feminine, nor do I seek that feeling. I can't imagine myself being a woman, or behaving like one for that matter. It would come off as if I'm mocking them which I have no intention of doing.

[Ineke Vashon]

After years of having a beard I shaved it off one day to see what I looked like. I promptly got compliments from two female friends who said I looked much younger . I'm older than dirt so I thrive on such compliments. Shaved and dress go together. And, what the hey, if you regret shaving it off, a beard will grow back in a hurry, as daily shaving will remind you.

Ineke

[AlissaMurray]

I shaved in late November. Kept clean till a week or so ago, stash and goatee coming back in now. I think a lot of us have that same issue. As a "dude" I look much better with the stash and goatee, had them most of my life and most women in my life agree. But, like you said it's really hard to be fem with a stash. I know I won't be out in public trying to pass for a while so time to just enjoy how things fit and feel and stay away from the mirror. Totally understand

[Monique65]

I've had well groomed facial hair for years. When I dress, I do it for myself, so I am quite comfortable with the results.

[Tracy Irving]

Jasmine,
Don't let anyone ever tell you that you are "not a real crossdresser". You are. The wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex is the way Merriam-Webster defines crossdressing. Shaving your hair, facial and otherwise, as well as applying makeup have nothing to do with that definition. They are an added step that some here take to present a certain way, perhaps the way they feel inside. Do what you think is right for you and have fun.

[Becky Blue]

To me is quite simple if you think you are a man and you like to put on woman's clothes sometimes then facial hair is irrelevant, if you like looking in the mirror and want to look as realistic as you can then a bread is clearly not going to help.

On the other hand if you feel that you really have a feminine side to you, then to me its a no brainer facial hair has to go.

[Monique65]

To me is quite simple if you think you are a man and you like to put on woman's clothes sometimes then facial hair is irrelevant,

This sums up my current attitude. Although I wear well trimmed facial hair, I do shave from the neck down. When I look in the mirror, I see my inner woman and I am quite satisfied with the reflection.

[GeorgeA]

To me is quite simple if you think you are a man and you like to put on woman's clothes sometimes then facial hair is irrelevant, if you like looking in the mirror and want to look as realistic as you can then a bread is clearly not going to help.

On the other hand if you feel that you really have a feminine side to you, then to me its a no brainer facial hair has to go.

Becky,
When I look in the mirror I want to see my reflection and not some woman. I'm a miad all the way.

[Jolyn]

I've always hated my body and facial with a passion
But also had a beard for many years.

I think it was to cover up any feminine traits
That might show
I'm just coming to terms with being trans
I've read over and over again how you girls
Just all seem to say the same thing
Why did I wait so long to come out
I'm afraid to go out alone
Maybe a little more time

I know I'm in the right place
Just so much to work through

[NicoleScott]

I enjoy my guy life - i just like to dress up at times. I had facial hair and still enjoyed dressing up in private. I resisted shaving it all off, but I knew that I could never achieve the look I desired unless I did. So I did, survived it, no regrets except "why didn't I do this long ago?".
It's a drastic change from a full beard to a smooth face. You could consider trimming the beard back a little, then a little more in several stages, until you get a scruffy look, like you haven't shaved in a week. The final shave might be a softer landing.
You won't lose your masculinity by whacking off your beard. I mean, it's not like whacking off .... ... you know.
The guy looking into the mirror will appreciate seeing a pretty woman instead of a man in a dress.

[MLane]

I enjoy my guy life - i just like to dress up at times. I had facial hair and still enjoyed dressing up in private. I resisted shaving it all off, but I knew that I could never achieve the look I desired unless I did. So I did, survived it, no regrets except "why didn't I do this long ago?".
It's a drastic change from a full beard to a smooth face. You could consider trimming the beard back a little, then a little more in several stages, until you get a scruffy look, like you haven't shaved in a week. The final shave might be a softer landing.
You won't lose your masculinity by whacking off your beard. I mean, it's not like whacking off .... ... you know.
The guy looking into the mirror will appreciate seeing a pretty woman instead of a man in a dress.

Nicole the last sentence is so true...

[Diane Taylor]

When I started coming out I had a mustache but no beard. I'd had the mustache for 21 years but had absolutely no problem whatsoever shaving it off in order to look as feminine as possible.

[Stacy Darling]

Its definitely a personal preference and a choice which is yours alone!

I've had a trimmed beard on and off for years, now off for 6mths. To me it was a "Fashion accessory" only and not to enhance my masculinity or reduce my femininity!

So It's your call, You are who you are on the inside!

Stacy!

[Ressie]

I also could never stand looking at my fem self in the mirror with facial hair. I've been clean shaven for 13 years now.

[Krisi]

In my opinion, facial hair on a man makes him look older. If you're young, you may want to look older but for those of us who are older, not having facial hair will make us look younger. And of course if we want to look and feel like a woman, facial hair will prevent that. There are some members here who will throw on a dress and a pair of boobs and walk the streets with their beard but of course they have no chance of passing.

If I were in your shoes I would get rid of the facial hair.

[wanda66]

I have a beard maybe 3 or 4 months a year, when I feel like I want the full girl to come out I shave. I don’t get to go full Wanda offten,when I do it’s all the way. That’s when I get several days in a row. I love lipstick that doesn’t go well with facial hair . Just my thoughts....

[phili]

The association of beards with masculine is really deep, since it is reinforced so often. I even have trouble sometimes looking at myself- but that is also my male programming resurfacing.

When I put on the clothes that really speak to me, or of me, or from me, I transform, and my face changes subtly, and becomes soft, and the beard is gone from view- it is just like a type of skin- and becomes a part of my delicacy, and my individuality. Just as you would, if loved a woman with a mustache, begin to see it as part of her unique being, rather than an intruding object of masculinity.

We've all internalized the feminine and masculine idealized forms, but they really do lead to so much self criticism in women, and unnecessary and often unhelpful behavior in men.