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Thread: Beards

  1. #1
    Junior Member Jasmine Rose's Avatar
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    Beards

    I have only recently changed from being in the category of "I have a lingerie fetish" to the category of "I like to dress like a woman because it just feels good to do it even without the sexual component". I have worn a full beard and mustache for over 5 years now, and it is a big part of how I see myself when I am my masculine self. My beard is about 6 inches long and very full.

    While I have been getting more and more in touch with my feminine self, I am not sure I ever want to stop being my masculine self at least part of the time too. Shaving off my beard would be a very extreme thing for me to do, and I am certainly not going to do it on an impulse. If I ever do shave it off, it will be after thinking long and hard about the pros and cons of it.

    On the other hand, wearing a beard makes it very hard to look at myself in the mirror and feel very feminine. Feeling feminine is something that is increasingly important to me.

    I know many of you in this community dress as women and go out of the house. That is just not something I can imagine myself doing without first shaving. It may be something I don't ever do. On the other hand, being dressed in public might be something that I decide I do want for myself in the future. I am definitely still trying to figure out who I am and what I want to become.

    I would really like to hear your thoughts and ideas about beards and crossdressing.

  2. #2
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    First, I do not have a beard or mustache. When I put on a dress or skirt with the intention of going put, I do not try to look like a woman. I try to be the best, most tasteful, presentable version of "man in a dress" that I can be. That's my style and it makes my feminine side very happy to just get out and feel the cool breeze on my waxed legs.

    My point is this. There's plenty of room in this world for you to express yourself in any way you like. But I want to urge you to be as tasteful as possible. So a Duck Dynasty beard probably won't go as well with a dress as a more groomed look. But get out there. You might be surprised at how easy it is once you overcome the fears you have been raised with.

  3. #3
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    We have a number of people on this site who crossdress and have facial hair, so not worries there. Do what you like -- if you decide to need to change, change. If you don't, don't. There are no rules you have to follow or committees you have to satisfy.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Joni T's Avatar
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    I had a full face for over 20 years. Best thing I ever did was getting rid of it.
    Jon

  5. #5
    Banned Spammer
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    I had a beard, mustache and or long sideburns from age 17 until age 53 and the day I shaved it off I was so glad to see it gone.
    The facial hair has nothing to do with being a man or exuding masculinity.
    To think you can't be a man's man unless you have facial hair seems strange to me now.

  6. #6
    Member Drew GB's Avatar
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    I too have a beard and mustache and have been plagued with this dilemma as well especially since my wife has only ever know me with it.

    Funny story. Once for Halloween I was going to go as Scotty from Star Trek and since he has no beard well off mine came. Unfortunately I did not warn my wife I was going to do this and when she got home and saw me she ran into the other room and screamed “that’s not my husband” I thought she was going to call the cops till I saw her poke her head around the corner and then whip back saying “I will not look at you till it grows back!” I laughed but sure enough it was about a week or so till she would look at me again.

    Anyways I just got a haircut today and one of the things said during my chat with the hairdresser is it’s just hair it will grow back. So for me I will be taking my facial hair down in stages till I feel I am at a stage where it is the last piece of the puzzle to passing in public. Then I will take it off and if need be afterwards I can let it grow back or not depending on how I feel at the time. I do remember that when I took it off that last time I did look 10years younger which is always a bonus. The only thing I know for sure is this time I will give my wife plenty of warning.

  7. #7
    Member Lucy23's Avatar
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    I keep a short full beard and a few people have told me that it looks good on me recently. I have a beard just because I like it that way. As for the crossdressing part, I'm a man in the dress and again, I like it that way. I want to wear women's clothes yet I want to present as a man. I'm not out, mind you.

    This is where you and I are a little different because I don't have the need to feel feminine. Yes, I can strike a pose or walk in heels in a certain "womanly" manner, but it wouldn't be me.

    You could say that I have a really "feminine" style - my clothes are pretty much a definition of feminity in society, you know, heels, tights, dresses, pretty underwear - but on the whole when I'm dressed I don't feel feminine, nor do I seek that feeling. I can't imagine myself being a woman, or behaving like one for that matter. It would come off as if I'm mocking them which I have no intention of doing.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member
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    After years of having a beard I shaved it off one day to see what I looked like. I promptly got compliments from two female friends who said I looked much younger . I'm older than dirt so I thrive on such compliments. Shaved and dress go together. And, what the hey, if you regret shaving it off, a beard will grow back in a hurry, as daily shaving will remind you.

    Ineke

  9. #9
    Junior Member AlissaMurray's Avatar
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    I shaved in late November. Kept clean till a week or so ago, stash and goatee coming back in now. I think a lot of us have that same issue. As a "dude" I look much better with the stash and goatee, had them most of my life and most women in my life agree. But, like you said it's really hard to be fem with a stash. I know I won't be out in public trying to pass for a while so time to just enjoy how things fit and feel and stay away from the mirror. Totally understand

  10. #10
    Member Monique65's Avatar
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    I've had well groomed facial hair for years. When I dress, I do it for myself, so I am quite comfortable with the results.

  11. #11
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    I enjoy my guy life - i just like to dress up at times. I had facial hair and still enjoyed dressing up in private. I resisted shaving it all off, but I knew that I could never achieve the look I desired unless I did. So I did, survived it, no regrets except "why didn't I do this long ago?".
    It's a drastic change from a full beard to a smooth face. You could consider trimming the beard back a little, then a little more in several stages, until you get a scruffy look, like you haven't shaved in a week. The final shave might be a softer landing.
    You won't lose your masculinity by whacking off your beard. I mean, it's not like whacking off .... ... you know.
    The guy looking into the mirror will appreciate seeing a pretty woman instead of a man in a dress.

  12. #12
    Member Diane Taylor's Avatar
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    When I started coming out I had a mustache but no beard. I'd had the mustache for 21 years but had absolutely no problem whatsoever shaving it off in order to look as feminine as possible.

  13. #13
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    Its definitely a personal preference and a choice which is yours alone!

    I've had a trimmed beard on and off for years, now off for 6mths. To me it was a "Fashion accessory" only and not to enhance my masculinity or reduce my femininity!

    So It's your call, You are who you are on the inside!

    Stacy!
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

  14. #14
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I also could never stand looking at my fem self in the mirror with facial hair. I've been clean shaven for 13 years now.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  15. #15
    Reality Check
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    In my opinion, facial hair on a man makes him look older. If you're young, you may want to look older but for those of us who are older, not having facial hair will make us look younger. And of course if we want to look and feel like a woman, facial hair will prevent that. There are some members here who will throw on a dress and a pair of boobs and walk the streets with their beard but of course they have no chance of passing.

    If I were in your shoes I would get rid of the facial hair.
    Krisi

  16. #16
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    Bye bye beard.

  17. #17
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    I’ve had a full beard for 40+ years, and crossdressed for 50. Clearly I can’t go out in a LBD and heels without raising eyebrows. So I dress at home in whatever makes me feel good that day. But Ogften all my clothing is fully fem (ie, purchased from the women’s side of the house. On the outside it presents male, even though the shirts button on the opposite side, and the jeans have small rear pockets. Underneath is all silky and lace. Nails polished with natural color and longish, ears pieced, necklace, bracelets, and boots. And a wonan’s Navy pea coat with infinity scarf. After so many years, one just doesn’t think about it anymore. No one seems to take a second look, and I think my full gray beard masks everything quite well. In fact, I think my beard gives me quite a lot of latitude that allows me to wear pretty much what I want, With obvious exceptions. I’m happy anyway.

  18. #18
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Being clean shaven including legs is all important for me. My sense is as your feminine feelings continue to increase, you’ll reach the point that feelings and image become primary. I don’t see a beard working into the equation. Time will tell.

  19. #19
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    Oh, and there is no body hair below my neck! For me it’s all in the mind... 😏

  20. #20
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    This dressing thing we do is really each and everyone's personal journey to go into femininity as far as they like. Ankle deep, calf deep, knee deep, waist deep, and so on to the total package of full blown female all the time. I say you need to follow your feelings and let your heart be your guide. I usually run around with a partial need to shave look especially on Saturday night. Wife and I attend church on Sunday's and I usually shave Sunday's. I do though find time to dress during the week so you can see I'm in various stages of hair on my face. Even as I type this I'm sitting here in panty hose, heels, bra and forms wearing lipstick with a v neck top and my warm fuzzy pajamas as its raining outside so I'm in for a while. I had the urge to dress and lipstick is all the makeup I applied. I love the stain on my coffee cup and lounging in the house in my attire. I have some beard growth and look scruffy but who cares because I'm pleasing myself. I recommend that's what you do also. I am not out and have no intention to go that far as of yet.
    Beards and cross dressing are how the wearer feels about them. Please yourself.

  21. #21
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    Unless you are auditioning for the vacancy at a carnival for the "bearded lady" I'd say be clean shaven. Visually emulating a woman and a beard just does not go together, I am fortunate that I remain clean shaven for the entire day....no beard shine which means I can forego beard concealer. My son has grown a very full beard (8 inches plus) and it makes him look decades older. Without the beard he would have a 'baby face' smooth face.

  22. #22
    Member Genni's Avatar
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    Those of us that seek to balance masculine and feminine expression have to find a compromise within ourselves that we can live with. In my case the mustache of 30+ years had to go when the desire to allow more feminine expression grew. I reasoned that it's just hair and could always grow back, but that was 10 years ago and I've never regretted shaving it off.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member GracieRose's Avatar
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    It is your choice to figure out what is right for you. Many (myself included) prefer to blend when out in public (as much as possible). If/when you get to the stage of going out, the beard would be a red flag that you need to be prepared to deal with. It's a personal choice as to what you are comfortable with. Since most people (especially your wife) are accustomed to your beard, shaving will will draw attention. I recommend shaving. You look younger and can present better. I never could grow much more than a light scrappy beard, so it's easy for me to go clean shaven as I always have. The benefit for me is that it takes a while for beard shadow to appear.
    After reading Andy Georgia's story of shaving off a beard, I recalled a coworker that had a mustache from before he met his wife. One Monday he came into work with stubble replacing his mustache. He had shaved on a whim and when he walked into the kitchen, his wife screamed, and his child would refuse to go near him.

  24. #24
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I am wearing my normal beard and stash in my avatar pic, Jasmine!
    I wear masks because I can't stand how I look in the mirror without them. With or without facial hair!

    However, when I go out to T events once or twice a month, I leave the masks at home and shave off my facial hair. Followed the next day by starting to re grow it!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  25. #25
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    For 15 years I was a professional Santa with the whole facial thing.
    Around 2008 I realized that there were more Santas then there was Santa work. Zip, off it came. Now I wear fake hair pieces. when I get a rare Santa job.

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